The Quarter

June 17, 2006

We are now one quarter of the way through the sixth round of the 100 Days of Summer. Today is Day 25.

What in the heck is the 100 Days of Summer?!

Hehe. I suppose some of you may have been wondering about the new category as well as the little notice adorning the bottoms of the past several entries. You see, the 100 Days of Summer is a tradition of mine, since the original back in 2001. It begins May 24 and ends August 31.
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Behind Every Bag of Chips…

June 15, 2006

So I was at Safeway early this morning right before going into work, and I walk by this big promotional display they had just erected (huh huh huh, erected, huh huh huh). Beside it stood about half a dozen important-looking men in suits. Walking by, I saw they wore name badges indicating they were from Frito-Lay, and that this big promotional, uh, whatever the hell it was carried a bunch of cardboard cutouts of that Chester the cheetah and other mascots of theirs. Cute.

And then a realization hit me.
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That I Overlooked Before

June 6, 2006

And now, another genetically different, lucky edition of…

Here’s to You!

So I lift my glass and say, “Here’s to you, four leaf clovers!”

Always a pleasure to find. Five years ago, back at college, I was wandering around campus just sort of looking at some grass and clover patches. Four leaf clovers crossed my mind. Lucky items apparently. I wasn’t sure if I had ever seen one, though. I wondered if they even existed. I was muttering to myself while gazing into one clover patch. “Do four leaf clovers even exist?- Oh, wait, there’s one!”
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It’s Nobody’s Fault It Rained

June 5, 2006

But it’s your own damn fault for being a dumbass.

Yes, you are a dumbass for a vast, vast, vast number of reasons I don’t have the life expectancy to get into, so let’s just delve into the one I’m thinking of.

How often have you complained or heard someone complain about the weather forecast? Every once in a while, some cretin will come along and for some unknown God forsaken reason will think it is at all original or humorous to bitch that the meteorologists were wrong.

“Why do they get paid for being wrong? Why are they such liars? I’d get fired if I were so inaccurate at my job! I hate weather forecasters! Can’t rely on them! I wish they wouldn’t bother reporting!”
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