This Is Why I Hate Tea

May 23, 2006

That’s right, folks! Another herbal, piping hot session of…


Tea. That’s what sucks. Every once in a while, however, I tend to totally forget how much it sucks. Then I might make myself a cup, only to soon enough realize “Why the hell am I drinking this shit?” You know the trouble with tea? It tricks you. Just today at work, where we have this cool machine that you put these tiny packets into to make coffee and tea, I saw a little packet of Chai. I had never had Chai tea before, and people say how great it is, so I figured I’d give it a chance. After the machine did its thing, I took my cup back to my desk and waited a bit for it to cool down enough to drink, and I took a sip.

What the hell?! You know, this crap smelled pretty damn good. It still did. Kind of cinnamony. So I figured the drink itself might actually taste good, right? Wrong! It had no fucking flavor. How can something smell so good and so strongly only to have no fucking flavor?! I could only stand to drink it after I put in about twenty packets of sugar, which is also how I make my coffee, which also tastes like ass but it at least has some body to it. Tea does not.

Maybe the colonies shouldn’t have given a crap when the King wanted to tax the crap out of their tea. Maybe they should have just hurried up and invented Coca-Cola so they’d have something to drink. Tell George to go screw himself. Would have saved the Boston Harbor from being so polluted maybe. *shrug*

But whatever. Tea blows. I don’t want it when I’m sick. I don’t want it when I’m thirsty. I don’t want it ever. Except for when I’m dumb enough to think “Maybe it’ll be better this time!” Sigh.

8 thoughts on “This Is Why I Hate Tea”

  1. 20 packets of sugar! 😮 That is insanity!

    I would suggest you try fruit flavored teas. You may like it. My personal favorite is cherry.

  2. What can I say? I like the sugar.

    But, nah, I’ve tried all kinds of tea. Spicy ones. Fruity ones. Tart ones. Leafy ones. Just don’t thrill me.

  3. Um, Kat, Tea is SUPPOSED to have lots of sugar! Of course it tastes like ass if you’re drinking it without sugar, damn! I tried unsweetened tea one time and it tasted like fucking cough medicine!

    But I’m talking about iced tea. For hot tea, both sugar and MILK are key ingredients. You can’t blame the tea, you just haven’t added the proper essentials For shame!

  4. Tea gets me through the night. Also, cherry tea and other fruit flavors aren’t real tea. I drink only regular tea. The kind that comes from a leaf.

  5. Personally I like mint or fruit tea, but I agree that without so much sugar to make my parents sick, it is almost as nasty as coffee.

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