Hey, NYRA! What’s Happening?

These days, in the National Youth Rights Association….

-It has come to our attention that Chris Batchelor has a hand moisturizer addiction. We of course wish Chris the best in overcoming this. It’ll be difficult. For a while, he will endure the constant, life-threatening torture and injury of somewhat dry hands.

–Alex Koroknay-Palicz has expressed interest in having a “pimp” car. On another note, here’s his current car.

-NYRA is divided these days over the hot issue of whether the organization should take on the issue of parental notification laws. This massive carnage and on-going flame war began with Jess Campbell of Cottage Grove, OR, brought it up, wanting her start-up chapter to work on the issue. As you recall, Jess Campbell was sent to our organization by, that’s right, Shane Steinmetz.

-Shinzo and Wrath have been on the warpath against one another and the rest of the organization, insisting despite obvious evidence they are not the same person. An informal poll on the subject had this to say: 0.8% believe they are not the same person, 1.3% believe they are the same person, and 97.9% say “who the fuck cares, just ban the fucking troll(s) already!”

-Svend la Rose is running for President of ASFAR, and apparently it looks like he might win. Therefore, we can say without a doubt that ASFAR will go from being essentially dormant to being, well, still dormant but with big, quixotic ideas.

-Adam King is working successfully on a campaign to get his school board to create a student representative. Adam King is co-editor of “NYRA Freedom”. Adam King is South Regional Captain. Adam King is the Captains’ supervisor. Adam King is Chat Coordinator. Adam King is President and sole member of NYRA-Asheville. First base, Adam King. Second base, Adam King. Third base, Adam King. Short stop, Adam King. Right field, Adam King. Left field, Adam King. Center field, Adam King. Pitcher, Adam King. Catcher, Adam King. Batting, Adam King. On deck, Adam King. Designated hitter, Adam King.

-Jess Caralize had a bit of an identity crisis recently. It happens. The result? She changed her sig. Problem solved.

-Alex Koroknay-Palicz has recently taken a liking to Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. He spends much of his time playing. This game allows him to rob banks, kill hookers, and miss board meetings.

-The NYRA-Flagstaff chapter is finally official. Such was questionable when Max Motter, many months after NYRA got an office and a new mailing address and sent out tons and tons of e-mails and made many forums posts saying over and over that the address had changed, mailed the application to the old address. Did I mention there was fucking cash in the envelope? I predict this new chapter will be very successful.

That’s the report. I’ll write another when and if I feel like it. Later!