Sure, Why Not?

Isn’t there anyone who knows what Thanksgiving is all about?!

Sure, I can tell you what Thanksgiving is all about. Lights, please?

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years, with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.

This is Abraham Lincoln’s proclamation in 1863, officially declaring Thanksgiving a holiday, continuing to this day, changed only when FDR made it the fourth November Thursday rather than last, so we celebrated a week ago rather than today.

There were earlier proclamations of specific thanksgiving days with very similar text by earlier presidents here and there, but Lincoln’s is about where it was mostly set as an annual thing where it still is now.

What I don’t see is anything about the pilgrims at Plymouth. About two and a half centuries earlier. It’s mentioned at the above link, but also mentioned is there were numerous such feasts through the then colonies around the time.
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Happy Halloween!

Anyway…

No.

Stop. Don’t touch it. It’s not yours.

Earlier tonight, the kids traversed their neighborhoods in their awesome costumes and visited their neighbors with a familiar chant in hopes of a yummy treat (specifically Nerds, Starbursts, and Skittles if they came to my door!). Afterward, they went on home, checked everything for tampering for fear of the urban myth about poison or razor blades in candy suddenly actually happening, and at long last chowed down. Yay!

All this candy in the hands of kids? What are parents to do?

Nothing. It’s not theirs.
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I hereby decree…

Stop saying badly behaving politicians are “acting like children”.

Or any derivative thereof. Including referring to a lone sensible one as the “adult in the room”. Not sure if you’ve noticed, but all politicians are adults. All mayors. All governors. All of the House. All of the Senate. All White House staff. Even the President.

Yes, even that Orange Thing currently occupying the White House.

Think of all the horrible shit Orange Thing has done. Or, no, don’t do that. It’s depressing. Think then that it’s too depressing to think about all the horrible shit Orange Thing has done and continues to do. In any case, there are a number of words to throw at him. Racist. White supremacist. Sexist. Bigot. Loudmouth. Xenophobe. Narcissist. Sociopath. Evil. And countless others.

So why then, given all that, would you pick “child”? What about calling NFL player protesters “sons of bitches” while saying neo-Nazis are “fine people” makes you think “innocent little kid new to the world and figuring things out”? What about trashing the mayor of a hurricane-ravaged city asking for help makes you think “likes to drink from juice boxes while learning about shapes and watching Doc McStuffins”?

Yet, whether the images around inauguration time showing a leather desk chair being wheeled out of the Oval Office and a high chair being carried in, whether the sign I saw at the Women’s March that said “Maybe he’s teething”, whether countless others calling him a toddler throwing a tantrum, “child” seems to be a popular go-to “insult” to hurl at him.

In response to this, a week before the inauguration, I posted this to I Support Youth Rights:

Donald Trump is a racist, misogynist bully who supports torture, advocates war crimes, mocks the disabled, threatens those who oppose him, and brags about sexual harassment, among many many many other things that add up to him being absolutely abhorrent.

But you know what he isn’t? A child. He is in fact doing all of the above as an adult. Everyone who voted for him is also an adult. His various questionable appointees are all adults. Children are completely innocent here.

So those of you who think you’re insulting Trump by calling him a child, really? All of the above and more said, and what offends you about him is that he reminds you of someone who was born only a few years ago? Do you actually think all of the above is typical childhood behavior? In any case, when in light of all this behavior you call him a child, the only ones you’re insulting are children, who are, again, completely innocent in all this and yet still are in danger of the damage the incoming administration is poised to do to healthcare, the environment, civil rights, and so much more.

So cut it the hell out.

This was posted in January, before so many things happened. Sigh.

But of course it stands. If the Orange Thing actually were a child, that would be an immense improvement. But he’s a 71-year-old man. A vile 71-year-old man. I mean, any damage a small child might do would be by accident. The Orange Thing knows exactly what he’s doing. Or he at least decidedly doesn’t care.

Oh, look what day it is…

DAY
100

What is the 100 Days of Summer? I think I last explained like a decade ago so maybe I should again. Every year starting in 2001, I have counted the days from May 24 through August 31. It was back then counting the days to when I’d return to college, being the summer between my sophomore and junior years, as I very much did not want to go home. Eventually that original Day 100 arrived and I was back at school and happy. Same the following year, so I repeated the event with the exact same days even though they didn’t quite correspond. I graduated the following May, so ever since it has been counting down to nothing, but I still do it for some reason. Anyway, here’s what happened.

Day 1, *looks at Round 16 recap which ended with referring to May 24, 2017, and “whatever shape the world is in then”*, *simultaneously bursts out laughing and in tears*

Day 2, finally, reading Game of Thrones!

Day 3, oh, Montana…

Day 4, where has Cards Against Humanity been all my life?!

Day 6, something about a fish store and a Canadian.

Day 7, covfefe.

Day 9, new season of House of Cards, you’ve got nothing on reality!

Day 16, lots going on!

Day 17, ow!

Day 20, why are we being bug bombed?

Day 23, oh, look who came back east.

Day 25, AwesomeCon! Something about a keyblade, a life-size dragon, and a Canadian.

Day 27, ow.

Day 28, ow!

Day 29, owww, what the hell?!

Day 30, ah, I’ve got a pinched nerve, making my arm hurt like hell. :irked:

Day 42, chili and ‘splosions!

Day 49, ice cream!

Day 50, sushi!

Day 53, something about an art museum and a Canadian.

Day 54, I would find a way to get lost on Theodore Roosevelt Island.

Day 66, well, it finally happened.

Day 80, DOGS!

Day 85, the fair! And bacon s’mores on a stick.

Day 88, the fair again! And a Krispy Kreme burger. And another bacon s’mores on a stick.

Day 90, eclipse!

Day 91, oh…

Day 92, 🙁

Day 93, am I getting a cold?

Day 94, yes, this is a cold.

Day 95, I think it’s time to replay Kingdom Hearts! 😀

Day 96, it’s a

Day 97, much needed

Day 98, escape

Day 99, from reality.

And now…

Day 100, still playing the game, about done and onto replaying the second one soon, and I picked up some pizza on the way home from work! I didn’t have any space in my room for the pizza box, so I just stacked the pizza slices onto a plate, so really it’s a pile of pizza. Yummy!

So there’s another vague and cryptic (because none of your damn business) recap of these now rather arbitrary days onto which I still assign a very outdated importance because I’m a little too attached to my annual traditions. But, hey, we all have our coping mechanisms. Sometimes everything is going to hell, but you can still think, hey, it’s not so bad, I’m still observing some annual tradition like normal. Speaking of which, we have Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the new year on the horizon, as we stare down these final four months of 2017.

As these 100 Days of Summer draw to a close, in a year that is just one glitch in the fabric of space-time (shut up, that makes sense) after another, as the personal and the political alike fly off the rails over and over, where next does this ride take us? What a frightening thought.

So ends this round, to return of course for Round 18 on May 24, 2018, whatever form the world and universe is in then. If still remotely recognizable. Probably not. :scared:

This has been Day 100 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 17.

So like everyone else in the country, I spent a good part of my afternoon looking at the sky. The DC area is north of the path of totality, so we didn’t get the full coverage and had to settle for a maximum of 80% moon blockage scheduled at 2:40pm. I procured a proper viewer and started to watch.

1:17pm: Moon begins to cross the sun. (Right on time!)

1:45pm: Sun resembles cookie with bite taken out of it.

2:15pm: Crescent sun!

2:35pm: Skinnier crescent sun, almost time for peak…

2:38pm: Almost…

2:39pm: Oh crap…

Big Clouds: “HEY, YOU GUYS! Can we join the party?”

…

This has been Day 90 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 17.

So… stuff happened in Charlottesville, VA this past weekend.

A bunch of white supremacists heard the town was moving a Robert E Lee statue, so they flipped out and marched on the park, with their torches… Wait a minute!

Are those… those backyard barbecue mosquito repellent torches you can get at Target? What’s wrong, guys, not ruggedly manly enough to get a big stick out of the woods and ignite it? Seriously, look at these stupid assholes. I feel like this isn’t so much a mob of white supremacists as a boggart that initially appeared as a mob of white supremacists but you’ve already said “Riddikulus!” Are we supposed to be afraid of these fuckbags?

Well, not afraid, but definitely not unconcerned. One of them did run his car over a crowd of the counterprotesters, killing one and injuring a whole lot of others. These public manifestations of theirs do embolden their supporters, validating their spurious white superiority beliefs and putting others in danger. Doesn’t help (if not the least bit surprising) that the Orange Thing currently occupying the White House took two whole days to even kind of sort of say anything close to “racism is bad, mmmkay” in response to this. And today pretty much walked it back and blamed leftists because of course he did.

And we of course have not seen the last of this. Not at all.
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So you may have noticed there seems to be more bad behavior than usual in US politics. I mean, this was painfully realized last November, confirmed in January, and has been a not-sure-whether-to-laugh-or-cry spectacle ever since. The Orange Thing that’s been occupying the White House the past few months has bragged about sexual assault, mocked a disabled person, advocated war crimes, and, dear God, I’d be here for the rest of the decade if I were to even attempt a comprehensive list. But his party and supporters still stick by him. They still excuse this behavior.

But I didn’t mean to talk so much about him. Montana just elected a congressman who literally physically attacked a reporter who was merely asking him questions.

That’s right, elected. This incident happened on Wednesday night, the night before Special Election Day. In any decent or just universe, this would have been the end of him. But sure enough, despite there being some question as the race has been kind of close, Montana voted him right in.

While some have chalked it up to early voting, that many or most Montana voters had already cast their ballots before this happened, surveys taken at polling places yesterday are less than encouraging. People who knew full well that this man, Greg Gianforte, physically assaulted an innocent journalist, Ben Jacobs, still happily voted for him.

Because they believed the liberal journalist deserved it.

You know, yeah, we all know politicians have always been kind of terrible, to varying degrees anyway. You sort of have to be kind of terrible to succeed in it, sadly. But for the most part, they tend to at least pretend they are not terrible. They at least acknowledge there are certain behaviors that are unacceptable, even if so many get caught in their share of scandals. Even when caught, they and those around them might not try to act like it was all cool. They might still support them otherwise, but they acknowledge some wrong was done. That’s how it’s supposed to work anyway.

But whether the Orange Thing or Gianforte or whoever else (including those who aren’t Republicans, not pretending Democrats or others are at all innocent), it’s like some sort of party unity comes before everything else.

It’s like…
“Did you know Candidate hasn’t paid taxes in two decades, is cheating on his wife, and likes to kick puppies?”
“Yeah, but Other Candidate is Other Party and therefore evil. Also, her e-mails.”

Again, this is nothing new. It just seems to be getting a lot more blatant. A lot more shameless.

That there is the problem. Where is the line? The Orange Thing seems to be going out of his way to cross it, and why the hell hasn’t he yet for so many? And Gianforte and who knows how many others seeking elected office are getting the clear message that they can behave badly all they want, that being violent and out of control is the path to success.

We need to hold our leaders and ourselves a LOT more accountable than this. We need to fully understand that, no, the journalist did not deserve to be straight up body slammed just because of his political affiliation and because he was asking a tough question which, you know, any elected official had damn well better have thick enough skin to handle if they expect to get anywhere. We can’t have so many people in this country not understanding that.

The survival of our country depends on us all getting this. Violence like this out of someone wanting to be a congressman, and violence against a member of the press no less, which undermines the First Amendment, is the kind of thing that, if it becomes more commonplace, we can say goodbye to considering ourselves anything close to a free society. As it is, we have a police brutality problem, and there are too many people defending that for sure. How much worse can we let this get? How much more is going to be excused because of authoritarian beliefs or partisan rage?

Because this shit is not even close to okay!

This has been Day 3 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 17.

“IM YOURS” Yes, candy heart, I suppose you are. Lucky you.

“YES” What are you replying to? Or is this open-ended?

“KISS ME” Well, you’ll pass between my lips in the course of being devoured, so close enough.

Ah, it’s Valentine’s Day again. How nice. Last year, by which I mean like four posts ago since I’ve been neglecting this thing, I finally said screw it and tore love itself apart. And it deserved it, that bastard. Masquerading so long as being pure and good and something that will trump hate, someone had to say it.

I believe I’ll take a different tack today, however.

When in love, there’s this urge to place object of said love on a pedestal, to see everything this person says or does as brilliant or amazing. Something that you just sort of come to expect and work to see through it. It makes no sense. This person isn’t brilliant. They’re totally full of shit and they know it and really you know it.

And then you know you know it. Then what?

You find you still love that pile of shit anyway, that’s what. Whether it’s in the form of wanting to kiss them or being deliriously happy when around them or wanting to fight over money and dinner plates for life, you still feel it nonetheless despite them being very clearly full of shit.

Not that this is really a beautiful thing. I mean, this is also how abusive relationships continue. But let’s say there’s no abuse here. It’s just seeing human imperfections for what they are. This pile of shit that has won your affections for some reason is, after all, human. Just like you. Such an important common ground!

So you two piles of shit, enjoy your evening!

I’ll sit here with my candy hearts.

“U R SWEET” I think you’re the sweet one, being made of sugar. I’m made of other stuff.

“MARRY ME” Eh, why not? Could be the start of a long relationship- Or not, I just ate you. I must be part spider.

“TRUE LOVE” Ah, but we just met. You have yet to see through my nonsense. Give it time- Or not, I just ate you.

It’s over. It’s finally over. Well, let’s take a last look…

January: Science Is Everywhere
-New TV
-Zoo Lights
-Something isn’t right.
-Spice cookies
-David Bowie?! Awww.
-Oh, dear, that house had an electrical fire.
-Alan Rickman?! Awww.
-Something still isn’t right.
-Wow, big snow storm.
-Got to watch as much Doctor Who as I can before Netflix pulls it.

February: Wagner
-Muse concert!
-Something very much isn’t right.
-Superbowl! Chili and cookies as usual.
-Something is most definitely not right…
-Oh. Oh no.
-I… I waited too long.
-Unless I’m mistaken? Am I mistaken?
-What is going on?
-I’m… not mistaken. 🙁
-Soul searching late night drive. What do I do now?
-Wait. Is that a $72 roundtrip airfare to Chicago? Hell yeah, I’ll go to Chicago!
-Okay, I’ll go on a bunch of trips this year.
-Starting with a ski day at Seven Springs!

March: Kommissar
-What a bizarre board game.
-Goodbye, Downton Abbey.
-Zootopia!
-Lots of stories for Lent this year.
-Marzipan eggs!
-Brookside as usual.
-Solo Easter!

April: An Even Wackier One
-Now to the Outer Banks!
-But I won’t spend any money because I don’t want to reward North Carolina for their anti-trans bathroom asshattery.
-Up at 4am to go to the damn airport.
-Good morning, Chicago!
-The ledge at the Tower Formerly Known as Sears.
-Wow, that’s a weird pizza.
-It’s that painting you’re supposed to stare at, according to Ferris Bueller.
-Mmmm, Italian beef.
-Back to Midway. Back home. This was just a day trip after all. 😛
-My state’s turn for the presidential primary.
-Well, that was pointless.
-Now visiting the alma mater on the way to another day trip destination.
-Ah, the Ocean City boardwalk. Lots of kites!
-And a disturbing number of Trump shirts in the gift shops. -_-
-Mini-golf!

May: Sex, Drugs, and Sea Slime
-Damn. The orange swamp monster secured the nomination.
-Birthday!
-Now to Baltimore to go to the aquarium.
-What a bizarre book title.
-Ugh, damn it, Capitals.
-Ugh, everything else.
-Nationals game. They lost.
-Another Nationals game. They lost.

June: 11:45 Entry
-More meh.
-But I’m going to New York next!
-Catching a bus at 6am.
-Bus is late. Must rush.
-Got there just in time. Up the escalator.
-I’m here.
-At last, after 19 years, I’m atop the World Trade Center! 😀
-Brexit vote: UK, WTF are you doing?

July: Metro Center
-Next up: Flying out to Las Vegas for July 4th weekend.
-Then flying back over July 4th fireworks!
-Then landed to find TSA opened my suitcase. :irked:
-Meh.
-Something about the Newseum and a Canadian.

August: Inkers
-Rio Olympics!
-Road trip to Connecticut!
-Weekend in Atlanta!

September: Arnos Grove
-Nationals game. Hey, they won this time!
-The Bazaar is in October?!
-Here we go again, seven years to the day after I left last time…
-London!
-No sleep on the flight over, though. :\

October: Six Pitchers
-Mmmm, Bazaar.
-Damn it, Nats. -_-

November: For Some Reason
-Election Day, at long last…
-No.
-No, no, no, no, no.
-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN THIS!
-Just… how? why?
-To airport super early…
-Hello, Magic Kingdom.
-What the shit? It’s November. Why is it so crowded? There’s never anyone here in November! :irked:
-Landed back at BWI. Why is my car not unlocking?
-Oh. I left a light on in my rush to make the flight. For five days. *grimace*
-I haven’t seen her in many many years.
-To Philadelphia and southern New Jersey. Something about an aquarium and a Canadian.

December: Foamed Milk on a Pumpkin Spice Latte
-Christmas.

Alright, 2017 ball up there in Times Square…

Get us the fuck out of here! :scared:

It came upon the midnight clear
That glorious song of old
From angels bending near the earth
To touch their harps of gold
“Peace on the earth, good will to men
From heaven’s all gracious King.”
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come
With peaceful wings unfurled
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world.
Above its sad and lowly plains
They bend on hovering wing
And ever o’er its Babel sounds
The blessed angels sing.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife
The world has suffered long
Beneath the heavenly hymn have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong
And warring humankind hears not
The tidings which they bring
O hush the noise and cease your strife
And hear the angels sing!

For lo! The days are hastening on
By prophets seen of old
When with the ever circling years
Shall come the time foretold
When peace shall over all the earth
Its ancient splendors fling
And all the world give back the song
Which now the angels sing!

I’m still here! Just hit a wall. Got a lot of stuff to backdate. Meh.

Anyway, hey, look what day it is…

DAY
100

Round 15 ended with a lot of things looking hopeful, and the final four months of 2015 continued this trend. Then this asshole of a year began and things looked bleak, personally and for the world at large. But things are kind of swinging better again.

Day 5: Nationals game! After walking all the way there from Gallery Place because screw the crowded Green Line platform. Just to see them lose to the Cardinals.

Day 11: Well, that was an annoying day that rendered a lot of the previous days’ hassle pointless. -_-

Day 12: No more delays. Just book them.

Day 13: I wonder if the complication has passed. Still can’t tell.

Day 23: When people send you something liquid in a container that very clearly is not meant to hold liquid. :irked:

Day 26: Top of the World Trade Center, at long last. 😀

Day 31: UK voters, WTF are you doing?!

Day 33: Pizza!

Day 36: I feel so invaded.

Day 39: Well, the switch seems to have taken effect. Anyway, off to BWI to fly to Las Vegas for some reason.

Day 40: M&Ms Star Wars glasses. Your argument is invalid.

Day 42: Flying home across the country on its special night, it sparkled below me. 🙂

Day 43: TSA opened my suitcase and didn’t close the damn outer pocket when they were done.

Day 48: I just booked another one! Also, chili.

Day 49: Dairy Queen and Imagine.

Day 50: Meh.

Day 51: I think I just set something in motion.

Day 58: Republican Party, WTF are you doing?

Day 61: Rewatching Big Hero 6!

Day 69: Something about the Newseum, yucca fries, and a Canadian.

Day 73: Book the damn thing already.

Day 74: Booked! Also, Olympics! 😀

Day 75: Reading “Albus and Scorpius’s Excellent Adventure”.

Day 81: I do not have enough middle fingers for I-95 traffic in the sweltering heat.

Day 82: Connecticut!

Day 83: Yale Peabody Museum!

Day 88: What is this? Is this an Olympic event? Oh, it’s rhythmic gymnastics. I guess.

Day 89: Mmmm, Indian food.

Day 90: Aww, Olympics are over. But Japanese PM traveled from Tokyo to Rio de Janeiro via Mario pipe. Your argument is invalid.

Day 96: Atlanta! Theme is Turner and aquatic life and lovely Olympic park at night. And way overpriced revolving restaurant in hotel I laughed nervously at and backed away slowly.

Day 97: Atlanta still! This time the theme is civil rights, Southern cuisine, and Coke. And back to the gigantic airport to return home.

Day 99: New roof, I guess.

And…

Day 100: Went to dinner with some people but otherwise unremarkable. But a quiet ending to a truly remarkable run.

As these 100 Days of Summer draw to a close in a turbulent year, though leap years have a way of being turbulent as 2008 and 2012 certainly were, I wonder what is in store for the final four months. I have at least two more trips ahead, as well as a couple other tasks. I wonder what will become of some of what complicated the earlier part of the year. I wonder and hope that this year that began so rough can turn around and be pretty great in the end. Sour and then sweet, like that candy.

Well, I close the book on this round of the 100 Days of Summer, to do it once again for some reason on May 24, 2017, in whatever form the world will be in then. And given how things look, “whatever form” is right!

This has been Day 100 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 16.

Part 1 – Part 2

I got up a little after 8am, packed my little bag, and headed on down to check out of the hotel, as I wouldn’t be able to come by again later.

I wandered down Peachtree Street some ways to the stop, and soon enough here came the Atlanta streetcar. I had my MARTA card ready to pay, but there did not seem to be anything to tap nor did anyone ask. I got to my destination, for which I decided against walking as even at now around 9am it was already like 95 degrees, after what ended up being a free ride. Hmm.

Anyway…

Respect. *salute*

In front of which is some kind of sacred gas leak.

(more…)

Part 1 – Part 2

Friday night I was supposed to be getting ready for the weekend but instead found myself eating ice cream and watching Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and telling myself I’d get right on it.

Unlike Chicago and New York, I didn’t have to get up before sunrise as I snagged a midday flight. The next morning I parked in the Green Lot at Dulles and got the shuttle and went on into the terminal. No suitcase to check. Just my little bag with me. I brace myself for the TSA line and head down the escalator to it… to find no line at all. I walked straight over to the guy who checked my ID and boarding pass and mentioned I’m not sure I’d ever seen the TSA line not completely packed. “You just missed it,” he replied.

Way early for my flight, I went to the long C&D concourse where my gate was, near the beginning of the C gates. And I got to do something I’d always wanted to do but have done before: Walk from one end to the other! Touched the wall by C1 at 10:40am and walked all the way to the other end, touching the wall there at 10:55am. As I approached the latter, by a gate that was not being used at the time, some guy who worked at the airport was sitting in one of the chairs, watching me. Once I touched the wall and started back, he said, “it’s a long way, isn’t it? how long did it take you?” I told him 15 minutes and continued. Okay, so I guess this is a common thing here.

On my way back, I noticed this giant anthropomorphic kinder egg outside a duty free shop declaring a love for DC. Aren’t kinder eggs illegal in the US? If this thing is here, I can only assume it stowed away on a flight from Europe but got caught at customs. Must be waiting for a flight back out of the country. The professed love for DC must be trying to make nice with the locals so maybe it can stay, or it’s gloating that it got this far. Not sure which.

(more…)

So there I was at the Greenbelt Metro station at 6am waiting for a bus that was running late. It showed up finally with an apologetic driver, and we were heading north on I-95, stopping off in Baltimore to fill the bus the rest of the way. North we continued along this very familar megalopolitan expressway.

Why do New Jersey on-ramps have “No Turns” signs?

Eventually, the skyline came into view, and we were into the Lincoln Tunnel. I had purchased a ticket for 11:45am entry, and with the late departure, I was cutting it close. The bus stopped at its 33rd Street spot, and I zipped on out of it and over a few blocks to the subway station for the southbound C train. Which, seeing as I was in a rush, seemed to take forever. But it got there, all squeaky and smelly because New York subway, and many stops later I was out at Chambers Street.

Where to now? Well, my destination is rather conspicuous. I got in at 11:45am exactly and was admitted and led to security.

Which, holy crap, made us go through a backscatter machine. How… well, not ironic exactly, but something.

Now walking through what’s made to look like a cave for some reason, and there are the elevators. Short line for that, and up up up, through time, through 102 floors.

To some short film about the city. Then out to a hall to get a guide tablet if desired, and then forcible green screen picture so they can sell it back to you because every damn place seems to have these. Down to the floor below where the restaurant is, as well as a smaller cafe with quicker stuff.

And down one more floor to the observation deck…
(more…)

Go east on Route 50. That’s it. You’re there.

First this meant the always fun crossing of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge.

Then through the stretches of rural marshland, interrupted by Easton and Cambridge and then Salisbury, where, despite running a little bit late, I figured I’d stop off to see the alma mater.

You know, they dropped “State” from the name in 2001 (against the wishes of basically everyone, despite any media about the change claiming students wanted it because we were sick of “Salisbury steak” jokes, which we really didn’t care about since nobody made those mindless jokes except for maybe a family member that thinks they’re funny but actually couldn’t find clever in a wet paper bag saying it once, receiving only a glare that means “are you being serious right now?” which they mistake for confirmation of their non-existent hilarity), yet even in 2016 the recycle cans still have it.

(more…)

One moment in late February I’m idly browsing Southwest’s low fare calendar, and the next I’m saying “$72 roundtrip?! Fuck yeah, I’ll go to Chicago, why not?”

So I did.

I awoke just before 4am on April 16, got dressed and grabbed my bag, and was out the door. I parked at the BWI lot around 5am, waited an annoyingly long time for the shuttle, and finally got to the terminal after 5:30am. Argh! Look at that TSA line. How are so many people traveling this damn early? Wonder if I’ll make my damn flight… Oh, okay, line was moving fairly quickly actually.

I got my barely awake self to the gate and onto the plane, as the sun began to rise over the airfield. Isn’t it pretty?

Then we were off at the scheduled 6:45am departure time.

Two hours later, after a rather lovely aerial view of the southern edge of Lake Michigan and then the big city, we were on the ground at Midway. I made a glance at the long line at their TSA as I headed out, grumbling at what I might have to deal with later. And after playing with the machine a bit, I had my ticket and was on the L train.

Good morning, Chicago!

(more…)

It was a bit rainy on Saturday, so I went Sunday, April 3, instead.

Though I had reconsidered going at all after the state’s recent anti-trans asshattery. Why reward the state with my visit if they’re going to tell my trans friends to go fuck themselves?

Then it occurred to me. What does a state get out of tourism? Money. From said tourists coming in and buying things. So if I just go but don’t spend any money there, it’s all good.

So I got on the road that morning, south on I-95, then east on I-64 past Williamsburg and around Norfolk and south to 168, stopping along the way for food as I would be unable to get any afterward.

And then…

Uh oh.

What’s going on?
(more…)

“MY LOVE” What a sweet little candy heart you are!

“URS 4 EVER” Damn, candy heart, slow down!

“LET’S KISS” Well, you’re going into my mouth anyway. Close enough.

“NO WAY” Oh, well, can’t win them all. 🙁

Oh, hello. Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s time once again for the tradition that began ten years ago today, when I sit here and eat these candy hearts and gripe about romantic relationship stupidity.

I’ve said in the past that it’s people’s behavior and expectations around relationships and their partners that I take issue with, and that love itself isn’t what I’m against. That love itself really is pure and good.

I’ve changed my mind. Love is fucking stupid.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say it isn’t a good thing at all, that it is terrible, and really we should be recognizing it as the affliction that it is.

Love is a destructive illusion that causes terrible behavior and misery. When you’re in love, sure, everything feels all warm and sweet. At first. Then something goes wrong, and now all those warm and sweet memories turn to poison, no longer making you happy but only sad and angry. Someone who was once a source of comfort and joy is now just a reminder of shame and loss. You believed you felt some strong spiritual connection, but the bubble burst, and you feel more isolated than ever before.

People have a way of reacting badly to this, from making total asses of themselves in front of their object of affection and others to outright harmful or abusive behavior. Yeah, I’m not seeing the beauty here.

Maybe we should just remove “love” from our vocabulary altogether. Maybe just cut straight to what you actually mean when you say you love someone. Maybe instead of “I love you” it could be “I want to spend time with you” or “I’m deliriously happy when I’m with you” or “I want to kiss you” or “I want to have sex with you” or “I don’t wish you any specific harm” or “I want to buy a house with a nice yard and fight with you over money and dinner plates for the rest of my life” (also known as “will you marry me?”). In any case, maybe the only real response to a declaration of love is “yeah, and?”

I mean, it’s a loaded and muddy word. It distracts from what specifically is going on. It inflates importance of what’s being felt, adding some artificial divine quality, which really serves only to make it hurt so much more when it goes wrong, that the very essence of life itself has failed you. It’s just not worth it. There are much better uses of time and energy.

If only it were that simple. I get so afflicted just as anyone else.

Oh, well. There’s always the candy hearts!

“I-M SURE” Well, heart, most people aren’t sure of much of anything. You’re lucky.

“YOU ROCK” Awww, thanks!

“XOXO” I fucking hate that Elle King song.

So this past weekend, we got a shit ton of snow here. Yay! Lots of snow and the electricity stayed on. I call that awesome.

Ever watch some local network TV station during a big snow storm? All programming is preempted for storm coverage, so that we can stay up to date on new developments in the storm…

“Hi, I’m reporting from Reston, and yes, it is snowing here. Don’t drive! Wait, look, some dipshit is driving in this. Hey, dipshit, why the fuck are you driving? Come explain to us why the fuck you are driving.” *interview with driving dipshit* “Now on to Rockville.”

“Here in Rockville, yes, it is snowing. Oh, look, some dipshit is driving on Rockville Pike. And it’s windy. Oh, my God, look at the wind blowing around. Can you see how windy it is? I’m slowly freezing to death.”

“And I’m reporting from Dupont Circle. Oh, look, some weirdo is walking their dog, even though that’s not weird at all and people in much colder climates have dogs to walk and dogs still have to pee despite the weather. Let’s interview this person walking their dog and have them tell us exactly that. Oh, look, some weirdo is cross country skiing. Let’s interview this weirdo.”

“And I’m back in the studio. What do you mean there are people outside and not cowering in fear?! And now the weather map we showed you three minutes ago that has not changed in any significant way. Yes, it is still snowing.”

“Here’s footage of a local mayor or governor saying that, yes, it is snowing, and get the fuck off the roads, dipshits. Why aren’t you staying inside cowering?”

Ah, great fun.

Wow! Another 12-month ride and what a ride it was. Time for the usual cryptic recap. Let’s see…

January: Fire Still Worked

-Takoma Park to Hyattsville: “Be cool like us and lower the voting age!”
-Hyattsville: “Sure!”
-First reading passes!
-Yer a wizard, little brother!
-My phone is dead after nearly a decade.
-Know what that means?
-Smartphone!
-Ah, “Selma” is a good movie.
-Second reading…
-Is Hyattsville to join Takoma Park is being #16tovote land?
-Uuuuuunanimous!

February: 12th & Market

-Game food!
-If I’m going to do this, I’d better hurry up.
-Day trip to Philadelphia! Something about a museum and a Canadian.
-Did my TV spontaneously set a parental control block on a sports channel?
-Downton Abbey has a lot of tragedy, but it’s fine as long as they don’t…
-Okay, time to kick their asses.
-I might be too late. Oh, well.
-Or, no, maybe not. I misunderstood.
-Holy God, why is the fire alarm in the parking garage so goddamn loud?!
-Science articles!
-The dress is blue!

March: Multi-Piece Shipment

-Oh. I’m certainly too late now.
-Lots of bad news at once!
-At least we get a nice snow day. LOL everyone else left early because they’re scared of the snow.
-Wait, not too late, but can’t waste time.
-One full year on the job!
-Sigh. Did he really just yell at our waitress?
-Woman: “Are you an introvert?”
-Me, standing far away from everyone else: “What gave me away?”
-And, after almost ten years, I’m no longer a NYRA board member!
-Thank God.
-Vernal equinox snow!
-Playing a ridiculous game of hot potato in which the only winner is FedEx.
-Now watching Victoria be funny.
-Gahhh, I spilled pasta in the sink and burned myself!

April: Seventy-Seven Dollars

-Some Easter trolling.
-What do you mean I owe state tax?!
-Some event I don’t really want to be at.
-Some other event I don’t really want to be at.
-Someone needs to vent. Okay!

May: Have More Fun

-Trains and a door to nowhere.
-Night before birthday Nats game!
-Box fort.
-Do it! Do it!
-I didn’t do it.
-Cake!
-Okay, now I did it.
-Ugh, I have to report for jury duty.
-Narrow street is narrow.
-I think I can squeeze by…
-CRUNCH!
-And I just destroyed someone’s side view mirror. Ugggghhhhh!
-I haven’t had a truly terrible time driving in DC a while. Clearly I was due for a truly terrible time driving in DC.
-Virginia: “Hey, DC. Challenge accepted.”
-Three hours stuck on the beltway in middle of the night because Virginia is all “look at us, we’re Virginia, we’ll do late night construction and back you up for hours, because fuck you, we’re Virginia!”

June: 37 Years Later

-Oh, good, got out of jury duty after only a couple hours.
-Free donut!
-Belmont. Can you do it, American Pharoah?
-Final turn. Welp, here comes another horse closing in.
-Wait, no, that horse is quitting.
-Could it be…?!
-American Pharoah wins the Triple Crown!!!!
-Sense8
-Picnic!
-Emptying out old storage trailer.
-And Sugarloaf with little brother.
-Inside Out!
-Emptying out hotel room family was living in.
-And they’re off across the country on a train.
-But they left the Wii with me!

July: The Vine

-Chili and ‘splosions!
-WORLD CUP!
-Hey, where’s the air conditioner?
-A couple hours of pulling vines and weeds from backyard garden.
-There it is!
-DONKEY KONG COUNTRY!
-Clearing stuff out.
-What are you doing, laptop?
-Family came back east.
-Loud restaurant is loud!
-Minions!
-Family went out west again.
-They took the Wii this time. D’oh!
-Power outage at work = lots of screaming freezers
-Looking for new laptop.
-Hey, reached 69,000 miles on car on Day 69!

August: Timing

-Crash Bandicoot!
-Zoo!
-Alright, I booked a trip.
-You go in the Rack of Shame!
-Oh crap, I’m in trouble.
-No, it’s okay, I fixed it. For now.
-Car maintenance.
-What do you mean you have to keep it overnight?
-I don’t want a loaner car. I want MY car!
-Hey, I finally did the thing!

September: Yellow Lampshade

-I’m spending Labor Day weekend in San Francisco for some reason.
-Kathleen and I are visiting museums and seeing things.
-And a hookah fell on me.
-Driver: “What park is this?”
-Me: “Golden Gate Park.”
-Driver: “But we’re not near the Golden Gate Bridge.”
-Me: “…seriously?!”
-Stingrays! Sharks! Penguins! Snakes! Swamp!
-Chocolate!
-What do you mean United charges to watch the flight map?!
-I have a stuffed octopus now.
-Ugh, I forgot to do a thing and don’t have a good reason for why I forgot to do a thing!
-Middle Eastern Bazaar!
-Fezzes are cool.
-Sushi.
-Pope.
-Lunar eclipse.
-I’m invited to a thing!
-Now there’s a hurricane coming, compromising the thing.

October: Nine and a Half Hours

-Nope, hurricane is going elsewhere. The thing is unaffected.
-To Philadelphia and southern New Jersey! Something about mosaics, an injured squirrel, and a Canadian.
-Winter Festival script reading!
-Wow, twenty years of these songs that remind me of things.
-Gallery of Art and then Middle Eastern food!
-Collective Soul!
-Gah, I forgot about the emissions test I’ve been getting reminders for since August!
-I forgot to do things and I’m going to get in trouble for forgetting to do the things!
-Oh, wait, they don’t care about the things. Whew!
-Annual Sugarloaf climb!
-Passing out candy to adorable costumed children! And some teens and adults. LOL

November: 1:48pm

-I was sitting far away from everyone else in my group. Now with renovation, they’ve been moved next to me!
-I’m so happy!
-WES Auction: trying not to buy or sign up for too much shit this time
-Damn it.
-Did 97.1 go to Christmas mode the day after Veteran’s Day? I wonder why so much earlier than usual.
-Ugh, not another Paris attack.
-Think I’ll make turkey chops for Solo Thanksgiving.
-Heh, look at those turkey breasts, and all they’re complicated instructions. I’ll read them for the hell of it.
-Actually, this looks doable.
-Buy the roasting pan!
-Mockingjay, Part 2! It made me feel emotions!
-Alright, I’ll break with tradition and book a trip for Christmas.
-What do you mean the return flight fare went up $95 just before I clicked purchase?!
-Time for Solo Thanksgiving! Will I be lonely?
-Nope, too busy making the turkey to give a crap.
-Ugh, I wish this turkey wouldn’t keep tipping over.
-Is it up to temperature yet? Is it up to temperature yet?
-Okay, this thing has been in for about three hours. I wonder if it’s edible.
-Holy crap, the turkey is edible. I made a Thanksgiving turkey! Achievement unlocked!
-Solo Thanksgiving ftw!
-Lots of leftovers!
-Shit. Why does my whole downstairs smell like gas?
-And here’s the fire department.
-What do you mean you can’t smell it?
-Oh, wait, this other guy can. Good, I’m not crazy. I think.
-There’s nothing wrong with the heater? Good. Then why the gas? Odd.

December: Same Fan with Weird Stripe

-Spinach Bean Thing for holiday potluck at work.
-And Perfection. I perfected Perfection.
-The Good Dinosaur!
-Nutella cookies!
-Lots of Winter Festival rehearsals.
-Lots of cookies for Cookie Walk.
-I’m Muffin the Cat!
-Brookside lights!
-Where the fuck did my headband go?
-Star Wars: The Force Awakens!
-Less Christmas shopping as usual because already dropped a bunch of money on flight.
-Did I really make these peanut butter cookies myself?!
-Seneca Creek Winter Lights!
-Have lots of chocolate, coworkers!
-Silent Night selfie!
-Why the mother of hell did I book a flight on Christmas Day?
-Yup, no parking in Dulles Economy Lot.
-Oh, wait, there’s some spaces.
-My feast of roast beast is in the form of a sandwich from Potbelly. Still counts.
-I called it roast beast when I ordered it. They didn’t notice.
-Did the flight crew just give us the pre-flight safety info in the form of a paraody of A Visit from Saint Nicholas?!
-The flight map is on my phone! The flight map is on my phone!
-Me, to family: “I come from the east bearing gifts after following a star.” Technically true.
-Some prix-fixe prime rib for Christmas dinner! Mmmm.
-Some relatives I haven’t seen in forever.
-After a few days of that, time to come home.
-What do you mean the flight is oversold and I can’t get on the plane?!
-First the fare going up right before I booked and now this?!
-Oh, wait, they got me on after all. Yay!
-Holy crap, Dulles is foggy!
-Back to work and package related annoyances.
-Screw, let’s get some snow crab legs and end this year already.
-And, holy crap, how the hell did I manage to post every day in December?!
-Oh, because all the posts are crap that I wouldn’t post the rest of the year. Meh.

What a year! I feel like big things are happening. There were lots of changes in this year, and there’s still plenty of promise, plenty I’m waiting to see how they turn out. Isn’t that the business of life? Something like that.

Goodbye, 2015! We had a time. Alright, 2016. I see you up there in Times Square. Bring it on!