December 22, 2015

That Was Quick

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap — Katrina @ 11:45 pm

It’s the Winter Solstice.

It’s the day of darkness and cold. When the daylight little by little gets longer, until spring comes, and warm weather comes.

Warmer days will come again but they are a long way off, and-

Wait a minute.

Weather forecast over next few days:
Dec 23, 65 degrees.
Dec 24, 74 degrees.
Dec 25, 66 degrees.

Or really soon. Whatever.

December 6, 2014

Goblet of Fire

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap — Katrina @ 1:25 pm

So I’ve been rereading the Harry Potter books lately (most of the way through Order of the Phoenix right now).

The fourth one, Goblet of Fire, is interesting in several spots.

Earlier on, there’s the Quidditch World Cup, with Ireland against Bulgaria. Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge is trying to communicate with the Bulgarian Minister of Magic, who doesn’t seem to be able to speak English, through silly pantomiming and whatnot. When the match is over, the Bulgarian Minister makes a comment, and Fudge is like “what? you do speak English?” and it turns out the Bulgarian Minister was just fucking with him the whole time for teh lulz.

Every time I read this part I find myself wondering, “So there’s the Bulgarian Minister of Magic. Where’s the Irish Minister of Magic? He or she would surely be there, too.”

Then I realize that Cornelius Fudge is probably Ireland’s Minister. In reality, Ireland is a separate country from the UK. But it seems in the Wizarding world, Ireland’s magical society is under the same jurisdiction as the UK’s.

Of course, when you think about it, it isn’t that weird that international borders in the Wizarding world might be drawn a bit differently. But interesting that the way it’s demonstrated is implying Ireland is not its own country.

A little later, delegations from two other magical schools arrive at Hogwarts. One is Durmstrang, which Dumbledore says is “to the north”, and if Hogwarts is in Scotland, I guess that school might be in Norway. Though the name of the school is a play off the German expression “sturm und drang” (storm and stress). Though the headmaster, Igor Karkaroff, is Russian. And one of the students, Viktor Krum, is Bulgarian.

The other is Beauxbatons, pretty clearly French. They moment they arrive at Hogwarts, they’re full of nothing but snooty complaints. When Fleur Delacour is chosen Triwizard Champion, the others literally fall into crying and tantrums.

And in the tournament itself, while Cedric, Harry, and Viktor are all doing well, Fleur is just terrible. Got attacked by grindylows. Though her failure in the maze was of course not her fault. At first, it feels sexist, that the only female champion is doing so badly. Then I remember that, no, her doing badly is not because she’s female. It’s because she’s French.

Between this and the Ireland thing…

Yes, yes, Rowling. We get it. You’re British. :lol:

December 22, 2013

Easter Creep

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap — Katrina @ 3:46 pm

So I was at the grocery store earlier getting some food and avoiding going home to cringe at the Redskins game. I’m in the holiday aisle with a crapton of Christmas goodies, though not quite as much as they had last week. Despite the obvious fact Christmas hasn’t actually gotten here yet.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear, occupying just one little area but present nonetheless… Easter candy.

Seriously! Three days before Christmas, and the Easter candy is out.

Know when Easter is in 2014? April 20. It’s going to be one late ass Easter this coming year. And stuff for it is appearing already.

Mary’s not even two centimeters dilated and we’re already planning her son’s crucifixion.

Though one could argue it’s fitting, as Christmas/Winter Solstice celebrations all come down to promising that Easter/Vernal Equinox will come. If four months away still. If the (freakishly warm) Winter Solstice was only yesterday.

Already there are the Peeps. Already there are the Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs. Already there are Cadbury Creme Eggs…

I’m okay with this.

December 21, 2013

Light and Dark

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap, WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 5:08 pm

The Winter Solstice is here again. Oh, I hear something…

Winter Solstice: It’s time for the sun to return!

Summer Solstice: Yeah, yeah, yeah…

Winter Solstice: Hey, what are you doing here?

Summer Solstice: I’m on the other side of the world. We occur at the same time, you know.

Winter Solstice: I know that. Anyway, why aren’t you celebrating? You have lots of sun.

Summer Solstice: And I have to see it go away. For that, nobody gives a damn. With you, they celebrate the sun returning, but by the time I come around, their brightest day of the year, no one cares. No summer Christmas for me.

Christmas: Did someone say my name?

Winter Solstice: Summer Solstice is feeling glum and without a holiday.

Christmas: What! Nonsense. You’ve got me. You’re today in the southern hemisphere, are you not?

Summer Solstice: Yeah. But having you is just sort of a happy accident.

Christmas: And the key word there is “happy”. So don’t be sad.

Winter Solstice: Now just a minute, Christmas. You’re specifically for me. Everything you’re made of comes out of Winter Solstice celebrations.

Christmas: And I think I’m fine with the southern hemisphere calling me a summer holiday just as they call me a winter one for you. Got a problem with that?

Winter Solstice: Yes! Because you’re specifically a winter holiday.

Christmas: I’m a lot of things. If I want to call myself also a celebration of the days being their longest and brightest, I’ll do that.

Winter Solstice: But it doesn’t make sense.

Christmas: Hey, does applying importance to axial tilt as if it means anything beyond that make any sense? Don’t pull at that thread.

Summer Solstice: Axial tilt? Yeah, that’s ours. But, Christmas, I thought Jesus was the reason for your season. ;)

Christmas: That, too.

Summer Solstice: So you already go beyond us solstices. What’s the matter here?

Christmas: I don’t know. I thought you were the one unhappy.

Summer Solstice: Winter gets all the celebration for the return of the sun, but I have the sun as returned and full as it’s going to get. And I get little celebration. I don’t get it.

Christmas: That doesn’t reflect upon you. Hey, how do you think I’d feel if I worried too much about what my celebrators do supposedly for me? Especially that mind-numbing “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” war. These people simply don’t make sense.

Summer Solstice: Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Christmas: Maybe? Or, perhaps, people are too busy lounging around in the bright sunny long days they don’t need to put on a special celebration? Perhaps a more subtle, more muted appreciated.

Summer Solstice: Hmmm. Could be.

Christmas: There you go! You don’t need to be the cheap crap that Winter Solstice and I are.

Winter Solstice: Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?

Summer Solstice: It means enjoy your hypothermia, losers!

Winter Solstice: Oy.

December 1, 2013

Turkey and Latkes

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap, WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 4:12 pm

Oh, here we go again…

Thanksgiving: More turkey?

Chanukah: Yes, thank you. More latkes?

Thanksgiving: Please! They’re marvelous.

Christmas: Hey, there you are, Chanukah! What’s going on over here?

Chanukah: Having a turkey and latke dinner with Thanksgiving.

Christmas: Interesting. How come?

Chanukah: Check a calendar. The 25th of Kislev this year is also Thanksgiving. So the two of us are hanging out this year.

Christmas: But I like hanging out with you. It won’t be the same not having you around.

Chanukah: Oh, sure, sure. You’ll be all alone. Except well, for Winter Solstice, Boxing Day, New Year’s Day, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Epiphany…

Christmas: I get it, I get it. Alright, I’ll leave you to it. See you next year, I guess.

Chanukah: Hmm. Well, I’d feel bad, but Thanksgiving seems so lonely each year. It’s a nice quiet change.

Thanksgiving: Oh, I’m not totally alone…

Chanukah: What do you mean?

Black Friday: LOL HAI U GUIZE!!!11!!1!

Thanksgiving and Chanukah: Oh shit!

December 29, 2012

It Should Have Been Neville

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap — Katrina @ 4:59 pm

Alright, here’s another Harry Potter gripe.

Complete with Harry Potter spoilers, in case that’s an issue five years after the final book came out and a year and a half after that book’s movie.

Bellatrix Lestrange.

She was all-around terrible, having among many other things killed Sirius Black, tortured Hermione, and crucio’d Neville Longbottom’s parents into permanent brain damage.

But who kills her in the end? Molly fucking Weasley.

I mean, that is what brings us the famous “NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!” line, as Molly went toward Bellatrix when she saw she was battling with Ginny at the time, and was already grief-stricken from having lost Fred.

But it should have been Neville. True, true, Neville already showed his stuff in slicing Nagini in half with the Gryffindor sword. Yet it seemed like part of his growing strength should have also included avenging his parents. After finishing off Nagini, he should have sliced off Bellatrix’s head.

Instead, Molly Weasley had the honors. Yeah, she was clearly aching to show her badass side, too, after all the coddling she does the rest of the series. Just seems like Augustus Rookwood, who caused the explosion that killed Fred, should have been the better target. Or at least Antonin Dolohov, who killed the Gideon and Fabian Prewett, who were her brothers.

Or maybe she was avenging Sirius, with whom she had some constant friction. That’s a weirdly sweet way of looking at it.

Still, though… Neville was due! :doitnow:

December 25, 2012

Gelukkig Kerstfeest

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap — Katrina @ 11:02 pm

It began with some gift gathering and organization. Eating some cookies.

And, look at that, it’s snowing outside!

And after some wrapping, some Christmas TV, and whatnot, scraping off the car.

Christmas Eve.

Sushi!

Off to late night church. The usual.

Except for some weird “riu riu chiu” song they sung.

And at last… Silent Night.

I might have shouted the third verse for some reason: “RADIANT BEAMS FROM THY HOLY FACE! WITH THE DAWN OF REDEEMING GRAAAAAAAACE!”

And stepped outside…

o snap, it’s a foggy Christmas Eve!

And the last of the wrapping.

And cookies and hot chocolate!

Bed.

In the morning, a bizarre AC/DC parody of “My Favorite Things”.

Also, the Christmas tree fell down last night and is propped up against the wall.

LOL awesome

The brand new train didn’t work.

Until it did on a different track. Weird.

Mario games, old and new!

And the feast. The feast of roast beast.

Unremarkable. Unwavering from last year. For the most part.

I guess that’s a good thing. It is a good thing. Nice to have some things be somewhat constant.

I don’t know. I’m not interested in thinking too hard about it.

Hope you all had a good one!

December 21, 2012

The Sun Returns

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap, WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 2:20 pm

I went outside earlier and looked up at the sky. Though mostly cloudy, to the south I could see it. A weak, distant sun.

Alright, sun. Come on back.

To which the sun replied, “Why should I?”

Because it’s the winter solstice. It’s dark here.

“But when I leave this nice Tropic of Capricorn, it’s gets dark in the south. Why are you so special?”

Not a matter of special. It’s just time.

“That’s your only reason? It’s just time? What if I want to stay over here?”

Pretty sure that’d be a natural disaster.

“And why should I care about that? You know, Earth, you are some piece of work. Expecting everything from me.”

We can’t help that.

“Not that you are so appreciative. Six months ago, when I was shining all brightly around you and leaving the south in the dark, weren’t you all just bitching about the heat?”

True, true.

“And why should I shine anywhere on your stupid planet? The crap you all do to each other. Should just let you all rot in darkness.”

We’re much more than just humans.

“Yeah, well, don’t get me started on spiders!”

And even so, what is this? Your own little naughty or nice list?

“Please! Santa is the one who stole that shit from me!”

Okay.

“But you know what I hate most of all? You humans and your little solstice celebrations and the like. I send light and energy your way, and you all decide to attach more shit to me than that. I’m a star that happens to be close to you. And you benefit from me and have life. A life of stupidity.”

Um… sorry?

“Stupidity! In that every six months, whichever hemisphere is dark wants me to come back the other way, but I’m not even the one who moved. It’s your own stupid planet that keeps spinning around me and tilting certain ways at certain times, and yet I catch flak for it. Well, I’ve had it.”

Going to turn yourself off? Going supernova so fast?

“No. I’ll just let you have what you want. Your northern days will steadily get brighter now, from your own planetary revolving and tilting. But come summer I’m giving you some massive heat!”

Well, okay. Though if all you actually do is sit there and cast out light and energy, some of which happens to reach us, how much control do you have over that?

“No need. Your greenhouse gases are doing that one well enough.”

Um… I think I’ll just go Christmas shopping now…

“You do that.”

December 20, 2012

Day of Many Things

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap — Katrina @ 11:12 pm

What I refer to as a “Day of Many Things” is a certain day of the year that, on seemingly every year or most years, that date somehow ends up significant in some way. I don’t mean days that have built-in annual significance, such as birthdays or Christmas or something. I mean days that otherwise are ordinary but through a lot of coincidences, it keeps being important, even in the most minor ways.

Today, December 20, is one of those days for me. Ten years ago today I took the GRE (verbal 370, quantitative 770, woo!). Five years ago today my grandma became ill from what killed her a month later. Four years ago today I found that ageist fye store. Eight years ago today I came down with a cold. Plus a bunch of other things.

Plenty more days throughout the year are like this. March 20. May 12. May 21. August 30. September 6. October 16. November 18. Those are the main ones, I think.

Yeah. Just days that it seems something or other that’s somehow important or at least memorable happens most years. Be it an appointment, discovery, first time meeting someone, fun activity, tragedy, disappointment, a very strange occurrence, or something else.

I’d add that I got the name from a card in the game Munchkin, but I’m worried that would push the dorkiness of this over some sort of threshold and endanger the universe.

December 13, 2012

Take Action

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap — Katrina @ 10:10 pm

We have to take action!

When there is some horrible injustice, there’s no shortage of people tweeting about it saying things like “maybe this will finally spur people into action!”

Alright, alright, I’m good and angry! So… what action exactly am I supposed to take now?

Hmmm. Seems they usually haven’t thought that far.

Or they have, and the “correct” action is to give a certain entity money or to vote for a particular candidate or party. Because that will solve everything. Somehow.

Which makes all the talk of activism, rebellion, or bettering the world out to just be an advertising scheme.

Of course, a lot of social problems really don’t have anything close to clear solutions. Or at least no solutions that the average person would really be able to take part in, because they don’t have the authority, the means, or the technical knowledge. In which case it sometimes is the right thing to do to just support those who do know what they are doing, or at least make sure they are pointed in the right direction.

But in truth, taking action against some injustice or other social ill ends up not being as exciting or glamorous as is often believed. People envision big protests or other stunts, when really these should only be done under certain circumstances, and contrary to common assumption, these alone do not change anything, even if some exceptionally large ones are memorable. Taking action involves a lot of leg work, repetition, and dead ends. And strategy, lots of strategy. Taking action, even after a crapton of work over the course of years, tends to yield very slow results, depending on specifics.

But you’ve got people angry and wanting change RIGHT NOW. And these people have very different ideas as to how to create that change, and they only end up releasing that anger on each other, despite being on the same side, over tactics, leaving said social ill unaltered.

Believe me, I know. I’ve been guilty of every bit of this on several counts! :P

December 8, 2012

Candles

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap, WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 4:56 pm

Oh, would you look at that! It’s those silly December holidays again…

Chanukah: Ah, sundown at last! Time to light the menorah.

Christmas: Hiya, Chanukah!

Chanukah: Ugh. You again.

Christmas: Whatcha doin’?

Chanukah: What I always do on my first night. And each of the seven nights afterward. Lighting the menorah.

Christmas: Ooh, candles! Yay!

Chanukah: Um, yes, that’s right. Candles.

Christmas: I’ve got candles, too! Hang on. *rushes away* *about a minute passes* *rushes back with two long candles* Here they are. They’re red and green. My colors!

Chanukah: Uh huh. What are they for?

Christmas: These? Well, these candles seem like they’re for a dinner table. I’ve got more, though. Big fat ones that are red and glittery. Ones shaped like candy canes or reindeer. Little gingerbread-scented votives. Those old-timey ones that went on the trees before the electric lights were invented. And there’s of course those ones that go into those wreaths that Scandinavians like to wear on their heads for some reason.

Chanukah: All just meaningless decoration.

Christmas: Meaningless?! They’re fun and give light. I’m a Winter Solstice celebration, so Yule and all that other stuff had candles to light up the darkest days of the year.

Chanukah: But not part of the whole birth of Jesus thing. Because it’s not like you can include any Jews, right?

Christmas: Oh, don’t start with that! Jesus isn’t excluded. The midnight church services like to light candles while singing Silent Night. Jesus brought light, so to speak. It’s a metaphor, you see.

Chanukah: You’re really reaching, aren’t you! But you’ve accomplished your goal. Today is my day, and yet, though you are two and a half weeks away, you’ve made it all about you. Haven’t I made it abundantly clear I’m not merging into you?

Christmas: Loud and clear. You might even say… *lowers sunglasses* Midnight clear!

Chanukah: Get out of here!!! :doitnow:

July 11, 2012

Smooth Jazz Bicycle Guy

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer, Random Crap — Katrina @ 8:08 pm

So I was walking around a nearby lake earlier, eating my traditional Day 49 Dairy Queen “Brownie Earthquake”. Tradition because I happened to eat that same treat from that same Dairy Queen 11 years ago today, during the original 100 Days of Summer. So now on Day 49 I go to Dairy Queen. Haven’t done it every year but I try to. I also listen to John Lennon’s “Imagine”. Because I think it was playing on the radio when I visited that Dairy Queen on July 11, 2001. Really no deeper reason for the tradition than that.

Anyway! Where was I? Ah, yes, I was walking around the lake. It’s a nice day, so lots of people were out walking their dogs and riding their bikes. When I parked my car and started the walk, I began to hear some inexplicable music coming from somewhere, and the sound got closer. Then some middle aged guy on a bike appeared, and attached to his bike was a little music player and speaker, playing some kind of instrumental smooth jazz. He whooshed on by and the sound faded. A few minutes later, as my walk progressed, he passed by me again, as he was circling the lake the opposite direction as I was. And a few minutes after that, I hear the music again and there he was again. This happened a total of six times before I was all the way around and back to my car.

I got into my car and drove away, when I came to a realization… that everything that just happened was like something straight out of a… math problem!

The walk around the lake takes me about 20 minutes. I passed Smooth Jazz Bicycle Guy six times, so the interim time was about 3 to 4 minutes.

Well, that’s the only data I have. Unless I bothered to look at the total distance of the path around the lake, which, going by the little markers drawn on the path here and there, is probably about a mile. But if I had more data, think of all I could calculate! My walking speed, though I suppose if 20 minutes to walk a mile, it was 3 miles an hour. Then there’d be SJBG’s biking speed, taking into account the distance he biked each time he passed me was slightly shorter than the total distance around the lake. That distance is one mile, so I’d have traveled one-sixth of a mile in the interim, so he traveled five-sixths of a mile in about 3.3 minutes, so his speed would be about 15 miles an hour.

Math is fun!

Oh, but there are other things to calculate! If I had the data. The volume of the smooth jazz, taking into account my aural sensitivity and from what distance I could still hear it. At one point, someone in a nearby backyard was running a chain saw, and during this was one of the times SJBG passed by, so I didn’t hear the music that far ahead of his appearing. So considering the previous theoretical data, one could calculate the volume of the chain saw. Or how far away it was. Or maybe only one of those if the other is known. Then might have to account for the trees in between and maybe air pressure.

It’s not just a math problem. It’s a PHYSICS PROBLEM!!!!

Aww, fuck it. It was a nice walk on a nice day, passing by some weird man on a bike blaring smooth jazz.

This has been Day 49 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 12.

January 1, 2012

Eight Days Later

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap, WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 2:32 pm

Happy New Year!

Oh, look, another holiday conversation!

New Year’s Day: Welcome 2012!

Christmas: Yay!

New Year’s Day: Another year is upon us!

Christmas: True. Except, well, why you?

New Year’s Day: What do you mean?

Christmas: Well, every date is a year after itself. Why start with you rather than like March 1 or something?

New Year’s Day: Come on, Christmas, you’re really not one to talk when it comes to why something is celebrated when it is!

Christmas: No, no, I have a point. I mean, if the idea is the year revolves around the birth of Christ, and that’s what I’m about, it would follow the year would begin and end with me. But it does that with you instead. A week later.

New Year’s Day: Yeah. Well, close enough.

Christmas: But it’s that week later, eight days later actually, that’s interesting. Think about it.

New Year’s Day: What?

Christmas: I’m about the birth of Jesus, right? And Jesus was Jewish. And you’re eight days after his birth, so…

New Year’s Day:

Christmas: Yeah.

New Year’s Day: FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

December 21, 2011

Solstice of Lights

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap, WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 3:58 pm

Ah, winter has begun! And I think something else has, too.

Winter Solstice: Here I am! Alright, Northern Hemisphere, time for another winter!

Chanukah: Shalom!

Winter Solstice: Oh, hey, Chanukah! How’s it going?

Chanukah: It’s my first day!

Winter Solstice: Hey, seems we’re the same day this year!

Chanukah: Oy vey! Don’t let Christmas know that. I’ll never hear the end of it.

Christmas: Hear the end of what?

Chanukah: Ah, you again.

Christmas: Oh, wow! You start on the Winter Solstice this year? That’s awesome!

Chanukah: Actually, I started last night at sundown if we’re to be more specific.

Christmas: Close enough. This means that this year, just like me and my traditions, you too are a Winter Solstice celebration.

Chanukah: Oy. Here we go again. I have nothing to do with the solstice. The dates are a coincidence. I’m about a temple rededication after one of very very very many times the Jews were attacked.

Christmas: Hey, you know what would make an awesome menorah decoration?

Chanukah: Menorahs don’t need decoration.

Christmas: A holly sprig! Right at the base of it.

Chanukah: Why?

Winter Solstice: Holly is evergreen and symbolizes everlasting life. For you, it could mean the resilience of the Jews all through history maybe.

Chanukah: But that’s a Celtic thing, that Christians later also made about Jesus because they’re so insecure they have to make everything about Jesus. I don’t need that. Our own traditions and symbols are plenty interesting on their own.

Winter Solstice: Maybe instead of candle oil you guys should try my Yule log. That lasts weeks!

Christmas: How about a Star of David atop the tree?

Chanukah: Fuck this shit, I’m going to make some latkes.

Christmas: Don’t forget to leave some out for Santa!

Chanukah:

December 1, 2011

Gobbling Up November

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap, WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 10:22 am

It’s that time again! It’s the first of December, so today and every day hereafter through New Year’s Eve will have a NEW entry on Sure, Why Not?, just like every year. So, let’s-

Oh, wait, I think I hear something! Let’s listen…

Thanksgiving You know, for a holiday about loving and sharing, you’re getting a bit greedy.

Christmas What? What’d I do?

Thanksgiving Let’s go over this one more time. November? Mine. December? Yours.

Christmas Yes, yes, I know. What’s the problem?

Thanksgiving The problem is your decorations keep appearing way the hell back in October in some cases.

Christmas October is Halloween’s territory. What do you care?

Thanksgiving Well, it’s not like they take them down in November just to put them back up a month later. No, instead, decorations are up.

Christmas Hey, now, let’s go over this one more time. I have no control over what people who celebrate me do.

Thanksgiving Well, try something. People are getting ready and excited for you when they haven’t thought about buying their turkey yet and are still finishing off their Halloween candy, if they’ve even distributed that yet. I’m getting covered up here.

Christmas Relax. You’re still the official gateway to my season.

Thanksgiving Who other than Nordstrom remembers that?

Christmas Come on, are you really worrying about what stores do? They’re about the all-mighty dollar. What about individual people? How many houses are Christmas decorated before you come along? Not many.

Thanksgiving I suppose.

Christmas So what’s the problem?

Black Friday LOL HAI U GUIZ

Thanksgiving Fuck off!

August 23, 2011

Oddities

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer, Random Crap — Katrina @ 4:05 pm

So three hours ago I was sitting here at my desk when I noticed the floor was shaking. Figured something heavy was being wheeled down the hallway… something REALLY heavy! Conference room windows were shaking. Then… I realized nothing was being wheeled down the hallway. We were having a goddamn EARTHQUAKE! Wow!

Goodness, we don’t get those around here, in the DC area! Hit 6 or so on the Richter scale!

*ring, ring, ring*

Oh, hang on, I’m getting a call. *reads caller ID* It’s from California!

*answers*

Hello?

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

*hangs up*

Hmm, that’s weird.
(more…)

December 22, 2010

Leaky Nose Is Leaky

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap — Katrina @ 7:52 pm

So I just came down with a cold. Lovely. I also need to finish Christmas shopping for my dumb family.

After getting off early from work today, also the last work day before Christmas (yay!), I went to a few stores to look for potential gifts. First Barnes and Noble, then some Middle Eastern food store, then Best Buy, then Kohl’s. And in each one… my nose was soooo drippy! Gross!

I mean, WTF? It felt like I couldn’t even go out in public without either having crap spewing out of my nose or a tissue stuffed into my nostrils. Neither would leave me fit for being where people are!

Instead, I made several trips to the bathroom to get paper towels to wipe my nose with. Bathrooms were too gross for me to use the toilet paper for that. And I didn’t bring enough tissues with me. Though an entire box probably would not have been enough. There I was, trying to look at DVDs and digital cameras, near other people trying to do the same, and I’m the creepy chick who keeps having to wipe her very drippy nose.

And with those hands I’m using to wipe my very drippy nose with a very snot-saturated tissue, I’m pawing through stuff to see what would be nice to give as gifts to my dumb family. Seriously, this drippy nose was making things difficult! Drippy nose is forcing me into hiding lest I become a pariah, a pariah due to being the creepy chick with a cold who can’t stop the runny!

Then comes the other disturbing thing about this. Here I am stuck touching merchandise with hands I’d been using to wipe an overused tissue across my nostrils, trying in vain to stem the flow of watery mucus. And handwashing or rubbing Purell over and over isn’t all that feasible. So my cold germs are getting on this stuff I’m not buying. Feel so guilty. And then I realize, if I’m doing it… how many other people already did?

Damn you, germs!

December 21, 2010

Winter Solstice

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap, WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 12:54 pm

Uh oh! Seems once again two December observances are chatting! Let’s listen in…

Winter Solstice: Here I am! Time for the sun to stop at the Tropic of Capricorn and start heading back the other way again!

Christmas: Marvelous! And that means I’m only four days away! Time for wreaths and holly and celebration!

Winter Solstice: Uh, yeah, about that, isn’t that all actually mine?

Christmas: We can share, can’t we?

Winter Solstice: Well, of course. You and I are more or less the same celebration anyway.
(more…)

December 13, 2010

Giant Inflatable Santa

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap — Katrina @ 7:49 pm

I was at Home Depot a couple weeks ago to pick up some Christmas lights, which are now hanging on my living room window for the neighbors to admire. Yay! While there, I looked through all the other decorations, mostly stuff entirely too big and fancy to put in front of my house, whose front yard is like 90% driveway, 5% porch and walkway, and 5% tree and bushes. Ah, townhouses.

Most of the decorations at the store were rather sensible. Just some lights. Prelit trees. Snow globes. Obnoxious singing stuffed animals.

Then you get the huge lawn ornaments and whatnot. Huge inflatable snow globe for the front yard, six feet in diameter. Maybe some illuminated reindeer. Giant snowman. And, of course, as said right in the title of this thing, giant inflatable Santa, bigger than any of that other stuff.

PROTIP: If you find you have purchased the giant inflatable Santa, and you have placed it somewhere on your premises, you are officially overdoing it.

;-)

December 4, 2010

The Holidays

Filed under: Christmas Time!, Random Crap, WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 8:39 pm

Oh, a chat! Let’s listen in…

Christmas: Hey, Chanukah, how’s it going? On your, what, 4th night now?

Chanukah: Yup. And you’re still three weeks away, I see.

Christmas: Why are we so far apart this year?

Chanukah: Happens.

Christmas: I don’t like it. Prefer you were closer to me, so your people and mine could celebrate at the same time!

Chanukah: I’m usually closer to you. But maybe I prefer it this way. Everyone thinks I’m just a Jewish version of you anyway, when that is so not true.

Christmas: Well, you’re similar in a way.

Chanukah: How so? My celebration is about our candle oil lasting eight days instead of just one when we were trying to rededicate our temple after we were attacked. Yours is about… God having a kid.

Christmas: I mean the lights! Yes, there was Jesus, but that involved a big star lighting up the night sky. Yours too involves lots of lights when things looked dark. Not to mention countless other Winter Solstice celebrations that have merged with me, all with the same basic idea of celebrating light and warmth when the world is otherwise cold and dark.

Chanukah: Yeah, that’s another reason I don’t want to get too close to you. You’re sort of a December holiday Wal-Mart. It seems every single Winter Solstice or other celebration this time of year has just gotten sucked into you. Well, it’s not happening to me!

Christmas: It’s not so bad. Look, your days jump around all the time. Maybe if you were more a part of me, they’d be set days for once. Less confusing.

Chanukah: *choke* What?! I do begin on a set day. I start on the 25th of Kislev. The Gregorian calendar isn’t the only calendar, you know!

Christmas: Okay, okay. I’m sorry. But, hey, we’re both the 25th of a month! That’s something!

Chanukah: No, it’s not. Just… stop. We’re not merging. Menorahs and dreidls will not be part of you. They’re ours.

Christmas: Well, that doesn’t seem fair. Everyone can join us! Trees and wreaths and candy canes and presents for all!

Chanukah: It’s just a matter of preserving our traditions. Besides, we do have presents. We give gifts on each of the eight nights.

Christmas: Ah, you do exchange gifts then?

Chanukah: Yup. Our families meet for meals, light the candles, exchange the gifts, sing songs, play games, and do all sorts of other things.

Christmas: I’ve pretty much got all that, too.

Chanukah: So it’s even less reason for a merger. Besides, plenty of my people still celebrate Christmas.

Christmas: And that’s wonderful. The more the merrier.

Chanukah: :)

Christmas: Ohhhh… I see what you did there…

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