Sure, Why Not?

So last week on Thanksgiving, I was at my family’s house and we were sitting down for our turkey dinner, which was late because Thanksgiving dinner really shouldn’t be served when it’s dark outside unless it’s the second one of the day. My mom is the type of person who doesn’t know shit about religion but clings to certain aspects for no other reason than “you’re supposed to”, which I suppose fits her right in with a good 95% of the world’s population. So when all of us are sitting at the table, she starts to say a prayer of thanks, and my dad puts his head down, too. My brother and I, on the other hand, are having no part of it. I just went ahead and kept eating, and he didn’t join in since he saw I wasn’t. My mom noticed he didn’t and was all like “why didn’t you pray?” and he’s like “Katrina didn’t either!”
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Bishop Excommunicates Mother and Doctors of 9yo Girl’s Abortion

Basically, a 9-year-old girl in Brazil was raped by her stepfather, and she got pregnant with twins. Doctors determined she wouldn’t be able to survive the pregnancy so they had to terminate it to save her life. Even to prolifers like me, sounds reasonable. Rape and the mother’s life being on the line are generally the exceptions to the “abortion is wrong” idea, and this is clearly both. Unfortunate, yes, but obviously necessary, and honestly, there is just all around nothing whatsoever fortunate about this situation.
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Once more, Christmas has come upon us. Christmas of 2008, the year which has proven to be truly a year where anything can happen and most likely will. Yesterday, was another Christmas Eve, living up to its reputation, to me anyway, of being the longest day of the year. From still having to go to work, to having to stay at work a little after when the boss told us to go on home (11:30am) to wait for some FedEx package that I ended up giving up on, to finishing the wrapping of presents, to annoying family, to briefly stopping by a party being held by my mom’s Greek friend (i.e. there were like 100 people there and a fuckton of Greek food!), to getting to the late night Christmas Eve church service where I totally wore my Santa hat the whole time!

And an amazing thing happened.

Well, okay, it’s not that amazing. Anyway, near the end of the service, after communion, came time to sing Silent Night. Usually, with the lights low and everyone holding candles and the general mood of it, one can get a little emotional and teary-eyed. Not this time!

Good. Getting emotional like that is a minor loss of self control. Instead of the message being an emotional one, now the same tune and words, they brought happiness and a smile. Why? Emotions are weakness and a vulnerability. What good is being an emotional idiot over some religious passage? None. Instead, the words meant pretty much nothing, and there was merely a triumphant smile.

Yeah, Jesus is born, here to save us, blah blah blah… whatever. I do what I want. So I’m happy! And it’s the only way good can get done regardless of motivation. It’s a nice story, sure, and whether or not it’s true doesn’t really matter that much to me. That’s all fine and good, but the real question is what specifically I’m supposed to do about it. If anything, no different from what is done already. So what difference does it make?

Okay, one difference. And I’d rather be happy and smiling.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, and I didn’t feel like doing another gay ass video this year.

I hereby decree…

Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute!

It’s a sort of “common knowledge” tidbit about the Bible that gets circulated around. Everyone is all like “ooh, Mary Magdalene was a hooker and then she found Jesus and was changed.” It gets believed she was the woman they were throwing stones at when Jesus made his famous declaration that only he who is without sin may cast the first stone at her.

But if you actually read the passage in the Bible (it’s in Luke somewhere), you see the woman there is not named.

So where are you people getting this?

I mean, it makes for a bit of an inspiring little story that even this unclean whore could still rise up to being one of Jesus’s disciples, in an unofficial sense. Or his wife depending on who you ask. But that is just not what’s in the story, whether the canon gospels or the lost ones.

Hell, isn’t there enough made up shit in scripture as it is? Must we add to it?

Now, for a divine, animated edition of…

Here’s to You!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, Animaniacs!”

I made of mention of this in last year’s Secular Specials entry, where I mentioned the reasons some Christmas specials tend to not touch the story of Jesus’s birth much (or it at least might seem that way). Basically, it’s safer not to. With all these oversensitive Christian morons running around, one false step on the sacred ground that is the nativity story could have like 5,000 midwestern churches wanting your head on a platter. Yet you might have these same people also whining that Jesus is being phased out of Christmas, a doublespeak typical of evangelicals. They want Jesus to get more of a mention, but if you try, they pipe up with “YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!” And because doing the nativity story can have the side effect of coming off as proselytizing, makes it all the more appealing to just stick to other Christmas stories.
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So I was watching Charlie Brown’s Christmas last night and noticed something. What’s the “moral” to the story? The thing about Linus telling about Jesus and all. Perhaps. My dad sure likes to talk about how great it is that it focuses on Jesus like that, taking the time to go into another ignorant diatribe about how “the Jews are making it illegal to mention Jesus!”.

But the story continued after Linus’s soliloquy. Charlie Brown was now smiling as he took the tree out of the auditorium, and then came the real moral to the story, one that rings true for a lot of people during the holiday season. When he said this line: “I’m not going to let all this commercialism ruin MY Christmas!”
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It’s that time of year again! It’s the week of the first full moon of the spring, yet it’s a somber week of reflection on, well, just how nasty humans can be. But we try to better ourselves, and prove it by giving things up for Lent, I guess. A meatless Good Friday ensues, followed by a cautious Saturday, and a joyous Easter Sunday as the day of bunnies and eggs and Zombie Jesus.
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Have you heard the sound of the angel voices
Ringing out so sweetly, ringing out so clear?
Have you seen the star shining out so brightly
As a sign from God that Christ the Lord is here?
Have you heard the news that they bring from heaven
To the humble shepherds who have waited long?
Gloria in excelsis Deo, Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Hear the angels sing their joyful song.

He is come in peace in the winter’s stillness
Like a gentle snowfall in the gentle night
He is come in joy like the sun at morning
Filling all the world with radiance and with light.
He is come in love as the child of Mary
In a simple stable we have seen His birth
Gloria in excelsis Deo, Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Hear the angels singing “Peace on earth!”

He will bring new light to a world in darkness,
Like a bright star shining in the skies above
He will bring new hope to the waiting nations
When he comes to reign in purity and love.
Let the earth rejoice at the Savior’s coming
Let the heavens answer with the joyful morn.
Gloria in excelsis Deo, Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Hear the angels singing “Christ is born!”

So the other night, my dad was commenting about the Charlie Brown Christmas special, and how it’s different from all the other specials in that it mentions Jesus. This was, of course, accompanied with some whining about “oh noes, Jesus can’t be mentioned because the Jews and Muslims would complain!”
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For obvious reasons, this is the time of year I’m the most pious. All the Christmas songs, I suppose, being about Jesus and how great He is. The joy of His birth. Mmmm, nice.

As I mentioned several weeks back when ranting about atheists, identifying myself as Christian tends to confuse people. They’ll come up with all sorts of stereotypes and presumptions about my character, as well as what my exact beliefs must be. And when I say that my personal belief system does not align with what they’re telling me Christians all are supposed to believe, I get to be told that I either don’t understand my own religion or I’m not really Christian.
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And now, for a godless, faithless version of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

I’m surprised I haven’t said more about this yet. Well, here it is. I’ve said my bit about far right religious whackos, but it’s time to blast the other end of the spectrum. I’m talking, of course, about militant atheists.

Yeah, I’m a Christian, and I catch a lot of shit for it now and then. What people fail to realize is that not all Christians are alike. Far from it! Therefore, much of what I believe does not adhere to what Christians stereotypically all believe. What they also fail to realize is that I don’t try to push my beliefs on people (granted, I used to, but stopped). I consider myself a Christian and may discuss briefly what some of my beliefs are, but I really don’t give a crap what your religion is.
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And that’s why it’s awesome.

Candy and costumes. Good fun!

Of course, you get these religious retards who scream and cry that Halloween is evil and is a Satanic celebration.

Oh, yeah? So let me get this straight. Halloween is about pretending to be scary monsters such as ghosts, witches, or Bill O’Reilly. Not being scared of these monsters that want to rip out your soul and eat it. Not trembling in fear of these demons that want you to lie, cheat, steal, and shop at Wal-Mart. To put on costumes pretending to be them and eats lots of candy. This is a recipe for having a good time.

So, basically, the epitome of making fun of all that is evil, trivializing it, doing the exact opposite of falling prey to it, somehow constitutes a Satanic celebration?

Well, maybe I just don’t understand these things as well as they do then. That’s what they’d tell me at least.

I hereby decree…

Life’s too short for the seven deadly sins.

I’ve been thinking about these for the past couple of days. Pride. Gluttony. Lust. Anger. Sloth. Greed. Envy.

And those are all a damn waste of time. I’d say they are sins for good reason. They suck! They all make you act like an irrational moron and possibly hurt yourself and those you care about. Let’s go through them.
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Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing, “Alleluia!”

Christ the Savior is born.
Christ the Savior is born.

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love’s pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace

Jesus, Lord, at thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth

Lights please! *holds blanket*

And there were in the same country shepherds, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Luke 2:8-14

And that’s what Christmas is all about. Why thank you, Saint Luke.

Although, last year, I have my own say in what Christmas is about. Newest addition to Eight Mine Fortress section Lore Galore!

The Story of Christmas

Enjoy!

*headdesk*

Are you people freakin’ kidding me? On my way to the mall today, my bus went by this Baptist church, where its marquee read “Jesus is the reason for the season. Don’t Xmas Him out.”

What?!
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Now, for a warm and special Yuletide edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Chances are, this time of year, or within a few weeks of any Christian holiday for that matter, some self-righteous know-it-all will pipe up with “Christians stole everything from Pagans!” Oh, you hear them go through all kinds of stuff. Jesus is a rip off of Mithras. Christmas trees are a Pagan thing. December 25 was some Roman holiday with drunken debauchery and gay sex. Yule is a Pagan holiday, yet associated with Christmas for some reason. Jesus could not possibly have been born in December. Oh, yes, said wise one (read: insecure prick) will point out that just about anything involving Christmas or other Christian holidays… oh, hell with it, Christmas and Easter, rather… that they have nothing to do with their own religions but just stole stuff from other religions and try to pass it off as their own. They try to use this as an attack on Christianity.

But I ask one thing of these people.

So what?
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Haven’t you people been listening to me? You know you’re supposed to listen to me because I’m right. But no. You choose to ignore me. Well, guess what. Only now are the mainstream folks catching on. Sort of. Scientific American anyway. Check this out.

That’s right. The same damn thing I said almost two years ago on Science Village. Said it a few months ago right here. And those folks are only now catching up.

God made evolution! Don’t question the work of our Lord. Don’t give me that excuse of what was written in some book a LONG time ago. If what you’re actually finding out that God created the universe via a billion year process, then that’s how He did it, asswipe.

Didn’t believe me, did you? Thought I was just a random crazy person. “Oh noes, that not right! It’s either God or evolution! You have to pick! Aaaah!!”

Owned.

Well, I suppose that one is a bit controversial. We do not know how it all began. We are told one story in the book of Genesis. We are told one story in Origin of Species. Of the two, I must say Genesis is the more interesting read, seeing as I couldn’t get through the first page of OoS without feeling like I wanted to take a nap. We are told ever more stories and theories from other sources.
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Hardly.

Just another bit of fundamentalist paranoia that the rest of us get to roll our eyes at. This came to my attention the other day when Adam posted a news story saying such on the NYRA forums, and Galen has written a rant on it. Now, albeit a couple of days late but I don’t give a crap, I think I’ll weigh in here, now that I’ve had a bit of time to give it some thought (over playing Crash Bandicoot, of course, hehe).

I don’t feel like pasting the whole thing. Both of those links will take you to the article. Go there and come on back and read on when you’re done. I’ll wait.
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