Anyway, so a lot of us just spent the past several hours watching the game as well as a lot of funny, stupid, and grossly offensive ads that cost many millions to air. And I made cookies, of course. It’s a pastime! It’s the Superbowl!

Then there were the people who just want to bitch and bitch through the whole thing. I don’t mean the people pointing out the misandry, misogyny, and other social ills prevalent in the event, particularly the advertising. Those are legitimate concerns and very worth calling out.

I mean the people who act like they’re hot shit because they aren’t into sports and find the whole thing to be a frivolous waste of time and money. And they must make damn sure everyone around them knows they feel this way. Because they are Very Smart and we benefit from this wisdom. God forbid they should just accept that sometimes that magical glowing box will display something that a lot of people will watch that they personally aren’t interested in, because it’s not like there’s any other way they can use the time!

After the game, I saw a tweet that made me facepalm pretty hard:

OK, 3 hours and about 10 billion dollars later. How is Darfur or Haiti any better off? Enjoy your Doritos. And your Bud.

Really? That’s the card you’re playing? The “there are people suffering elsewhere in the world, so how dare we indulge in our own culture” card? In all fairness, in glancing at that person’s other tweets, he seemed to be watching the game like everyone else, so perhaps not the intention. But it might have been of the crapload of people who retweeted it.

And, yes, I just referred to the Superbowl as a cultural thing. Because it is, consumerism notwithstanding. Yes, we live in a society (world?) that commercializes the hell out of everything even remotely of social importance. Our society is capitalist. This is to be expected. Despite my obvious liberal leanings, capitalism is not in and of itself evil or wrong. It’s just that it oftentimes can be evil and wrong and that should be kept in check. But on Superbowl Sunday, people get together and have parties to watch it, or are like me and watch it alone, there’s excitement leading up to it, there’s other events and activities involved. It’s got all the signs of a cultural event, and just because that culture is American doesn’t make that invalid. Contrary to common stereotype, yes, we Americans have a culture. This is part of it.

Not that those who bitch about the Superbowl because it’s a commercialized cesspool are really worried about that specifically. They just want to bitch about it because, again, they think they’re better than everyone else and want to pretend their stance is because of some sort of real concern rather than annoying others over their personal preference.

As for the “why are we worrying about this frivolous crap?” line, well, do these people listen to music? Watch movies? Play games? Read books? All these things could be considered frivolous. You sound like a damn Puritan.

And of course sports are more frivolous than, say, politics. In fact, it’s sort of WHY we like it. It’s why I can grow really tense watching the last few minutes of a Redskins-Cowboys game, yet secure in the knowledge that regardless of what happens, my life once the game is over will be the same. I’ll still be up the next morning and going to work. There’s a weird sense of fun placing importance, talking trash, feeling intense competition over something that really doesn’t change our lives (assuming no gambling is involved).

But I do have to admit the Puppy Bowl rules.

True, baseball and hockey are also guilty of low scoring games and long periods of nothing really happening. But hockey is on ice and baseball involves bats. That gives them the edge.

Soccer… eh.

But in any case, the USA still better fucking win!

This has been Day 34 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 10.

During the ads, they occasionally play some NCAA ads showing the athletes also doing math or working in a lab or dressed all business-like in an office, saying (promising?) that NCAA athletes will end up going pro in something other than sports.

Alright, I know “smart” people (if I count as that is certainly arguable) shouldn’t say things like what I’m about to say, but I’ve seen little real reason otherwise.

Being a professional athlete is still a legitimate career. Just as much as any teacher, scientist, office manager, etc. Therefore, I find it absurd the NCAA has to practically apologize for showing college students, who are apparently supposed to be training themselves to be the next great intellectual leaders, out playing with a big orange ball instead of doing math problems. That playing basketball or whatever other sport isn’t “intelligent” but just a waste of time (that we make ill-fated bets on). Which, of course, is all kinds of bullshit.

It probably comes from the widely held belief that intelligence exists only in the form of knowledge you get from books, whether classical literature, math, science, history, or whatever else. In fact, it’s probably the belief that causes parents and teachers to not allow children to play in favor of giving them more to study, believing only through studying do they actually learn anything while playing is merely wasting time. Yet, as we youth rights people know, the exact opposite is true!

Thing is, all sports involve a great deal of math and physics. This tends to often get brought up by obnoxious adults trying to convince kids to study instead of wanting to go out and play ball, but if anything, those bossy adults are missing the point. The math and physics homework merely involves the equations and written problems themselves, the theory behind the phenomena. The sports are the practical! The player may or may not know all the nitty gritty equations or formulas, but he’s the one who must assess how hard and far and long he must throw the ball to get it exactly where it must go, and often come up with this within a few seconds. To be very good at it, he must have amazing concentration and coordination, be a very quick thinker, and have precise control over the strength and force of his arm for his throw. We may still think of it as just a game, as the player may as well, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still involve a significant amount of brain power.

Brain power, of course, being what intelligence actually is. People always mix up intelligence with knowledge. Knowledge is merely possessing information. Intelligence is the capacity to process it. That’s why their opposites, stupidity and ignorance, are not the same thing. Ignorance is a lack of information, but doesn’t say anything about whether someone can process information. Stupidity is the reduced ability to process information. Also, intelligence isn’t a linear thing, as people can be great at mentally processing certain kinds of information but not so great at others. A basketball player and a corporate executive may work with very different kinds of information, but the idea is they can still process it and are both still intelligent. Why the disparity in our perception of their respective validity then?

Maybe sports are considered frivolous while more “intellectual” careers are seen as more useful? Perhaps. Then again, the desire to claim that your alma mater or the city you sort of live near is better than someone else’s alma mater or city they live near is strong, so people are still buying the tickets and merchandise, still watching the games and showing the supporting advertising to be reaching a significant audience. It’s still yet another business, yet another entertainment venue, and it’s bringing in the money and thus contributing to the economy and employing a lot of people. Don’t know about you, but I still call that a use.

You guys are awesome. I love you. Always have. Always will.

That said…

STOP LOSING, ASSHOLES!!!!

Let down again!

Damn you, Big Brown! Just like Smarty Jones and Funny Cide and Real Quiet and a lot of others who looked hopeful for the Triple Crown, pwned the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, only to descend into epic fail at the Belmont. Damn you to hell!

Been since 1978, when Affirmed won it, that there’s been no Triple Crown winner. A bunch who won two out of three, sure. No one did it all. What’s with you failtastic horses and trainers? So many years we watch the horse races and think we finally have a winner, only to have yet another year of epic lose.

Although, the 5.9 million dollars thrown away on win bets on Big Brown is lulzy. Lulzy until I remember all that lost money goes to the other NYRA.

Well, as has been said a lot now, maybe next year.

This has been Day 15 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 8.

Dallas 6
Washington 27

Mmmm… good.

Soooo good.

In fact, let’s look at that one again.

Dallas 6
Washington 27

Oh, man. That is just soooo sweet. Such a beautiful sight.

They think they’re so great. Then they come to us for the final game of the regular season.

Let’s look at it once more.

Dallas 6
Washington 27

I’ll never get sick of that. Mmmm… yeah.

Dallas 19
Washington 22

Final.

Hell YEAH!!!!

Dude, not just any ownage. We were tied. Dallas was about to kick a field goal at the end to win it. And what happened? Redskins blocked that fucker, and ran it back! Didn’t make it to the end, but one of the Cowboys grabbed a face mask, so it was a 15 yard penalty. Put us within a possible field goal range. No time left on the clock. 4th quarter. Nick Novak kicks it from 47 yards out…

He made it!!!! Redskins win!!!!

Just goes to show. Washington rules. Dallas sucks.

Yay! Dallas Cowboys lost. I hate them SO much! *shakes fist*

That’s right. As indicated in some entries back in January, and even a few more recent ones, I am a Washington Redskins fan. Always have been. Always will be. As such, I hate the Dallas Cowboys and bear a healthy dislike for the Philadelphia Eagles and the New York Giants.

When I was three years old, my dad told me to go up to my uncle (a Dallas fan) and say “Dallas sucks!” So I did. Like every time I saw him. Wasn’t sure why it bothered my mom. Something about me saying a bad word. Not surprising. Dallas is a dirty word. Tell me something I don’t know.

And what the hell is the big fascination with the Dallas Cowboys anyway? I can understand people who are actually from Dallas liking them. That is to be expected. But their fandom *snicker* extends all over the country. Little isolated pockets of people who for some ungodly reason root for the football team of an overgrown Texas suburb. You know, I realize the same is true for the Green Bay Packers, but they have at least earned it.

We’ve got assholes even around here, in the DC area, who like the Cowboys. Now what the hell is that? Should find those folks and, one by one, send them on a little tour of Anacostia. Hehehe. That’ll show them. Or kill them. Whatever. This is Redskins town!

And what the hell is up with them calling themselves “America’s Team”? Sure, right. Because, last I checked, Dallas TX is the capital of the United States. Oh, wait, they’re not. What justifies them calling themselves that? Oh, that’s right. Absolutely nothing! What, their popularity? Only popular because most of the country HATES them. Other than that, this all just sounds like they’re compensating for something.

Put simply, they are the bad guys. The silver and blue guys with the gay ass star on their helmets? They are the bad guys. They must always be defeated.

The burgundy and gold Washington Redskins are the good guys, always.

Saying anything otherwise is treason. In which case, eat shit. Because you’re wrong and pathetic.

Follow this guideline, and you shall achieve nirvana. Really.

Soccer is not a sport!

How about that! Two consecutive days of decrees. Hehehe.

Baseball? Sport. American pasttime. Always a treat to go to the old ballpark. Game play requires lots of running and arm strength. (American) Football? Sport. Rough. Exhausting. I mean, shit, you need a fucking helmet! Always exciting. Tackling gets a thumbs up. Basketball? Sport. Hockey? Sport. Golf? Eh, it’s a grey area, seeing as there’s no running. Tennis? Also grey area, but leans more towards sport.

But getting to the point. Soccer? Or “football” for you non-Americans? Not a sport. Here’s why. (Oh, and from this point on, any mention of football will be in reference to American football, so don’t get your empty little head confused.)

Real sports tend to require use of your arms. Goalies get to use their arms, sure. When they’re trying to grab the ball like an idiot should it come their way. The other players? They use their arms after they’ve tripped over their own feet and must pick themselves back up, feeling very foolish to have fallen down in this crappy game.

Another sign that soccer is not a real sport is when you look at its rather pathetic fandom. You’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who likes soccer who also likes any of the real sports, especially baseball or football. Or, better yet, look at people who proudly proclaim they don’t like sports. Dollars to donuts, they’ll make an aside mention that they like soccer. What more proof do you need?

Then you get these guys who somehow actually injure themselves playing this. I mean, football players even under the helmets and assloads of padding they must wear still sustain serious injuries because their sport is so rough. Soccer players might trip and fall backwards onto soft wet grass, and they’d cry and want a stretcher to take them out. So don’t go telling me football is gay based on the ass-slapping thing. M’kay? Just like a soccer player who might get kicked in the eye during a game would be much better off telling people he’s half-blind because he missed and jabbed it on his boyfriend’s erect penis, because that would be significantly less gay than the truth.

While I’m thinking about it, I’ve noticed another pattern. Are there any Libertarians in existence who like sports? Because I’ve met quite a few, and every single one of them hates sports. Is it a party thing or something? What? I mean, I like some of their platforms (although some of their other platforms scare the life out of me!), and I might be inclined to vote for them, but I don’t want to vote for a party that wants to take away my Redskins and Nationals games. Maybe if they were more friendly about the game they might get a bit more support? Think about it!

And have you actually watched a soccer game?! Good God. A bunch of people run like idiots trying to keep their arms out of the way. A few of them fall on the ground and cry. They have no control over the ball whatsoever. It wanders away so often, and the goalie strolls out leisurely and gives it a sissy little punt about ten feet away. The ball spends a good third of the game out of bounds, and some loser has to run out and grab it. Not to mention the neat little pile of the players’ testicles and ovaries that they sacrificed in order to play this retarded game. Seriously, even I could kick a soccer player’s ass!

So, here’s a side decree. Saying the words “I like soccer” or “Soccer is better than baseball or football” or “I hate sports, but soccer is okay” or anything along those lines, is equivalent to saying “I’m a fucking retard”. Don’t deny it. I’m right. You’re wrong.

Go Nationals.

And go Redskins in two months when football season starts.

Dallas sucks.

This has been Day 20 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 6.

Some interesting stuff.

How the hell does Algeria have a Winter Olympics team? It’s in the fucking Sahara. Oh, well, I wasn’t paying attention to what the athletes did, so fuck it. Costa Rica just marched, too. Somehow that one athlete is a cross country skier?

Denmark just walked. Hehe. Aren’t they glad Muslim countries are mostly too hot for Winter Olympics sports? Hehehe.

Ethiopia?! How the hell are they in this? One athlete. Cross country skiing. What, are these people practicing on sand? Hmm. They said something about how the one athlete starting skiing when he went to the University of New Hampshire. Pfft. Cheater. New Hampshire is ours, bitch!

North and South Korea were together. How cute. Isn’t it nice how people like to act like a tense problem isn’t really there? Heh. Yeah, I’ll believe it when Kim Jong-Il dies.

Apparently, Paris was supposed to get some future games, but London stole it. Hehehe. Fight on, England and France. Fight on.

Damn, so many mentions of 15-year-olds who are excellent athletes yet couldn’t compete because they’re not 16 yet. Ugh. Doesn’t that maybe suggest something to you ageist idiots? Come on. You’ll think of it eventually.

Hmm. Hong Kong got some skaters in. Well, good, they practiced in northern China. Glad China could lend it to them, seeing as they’ve got them all occupied. Apparently, they did the same for India.

Iran?! Shit, Denmark is fucked now.

Now a Kenyan cross country skier. You know? If these hot countries get the opportunity to play a winter sport, why the hell would they pick boring old cross country skiing? Cross country skiing SUCKS!

One athlete from the Virgin Islands, some 50-something-year-old woman doing the luge. Shit, if I were in the Virgin Islands, I could do the luge, too. You know, I’m starting to want to move to one of these smaller, tropical countries just so I can get into the Olympics. I can ski. I can speed skate, too. I could probably also bobsled, but who couldn’t?

Haha, Mexico isn’t in it! No luge. No cross country skier. Nothing! Shit, they at least have high mountains.

They mentioned the Salt Lake City games from four years ago, how they were “very successful”. Now how would they not be successful? Answer me that.

Hehe. Mongolians are wearing cool fuzzy hats!

Just called the Lillehammer, Norway, games successful, too. Shit, Nancy Kerrigan got attacked before that one. What do you folks call successful?

There’s been 80s music playing in the background. I don’t know. I think it’s cool.*shrug*

Russians! Eek! Think they’re better than us? Ha! We’ll see.

There’s all these athletic type ads playing. It’s getting annoying, really.

Ceremony is nowhere near over and I’m already getting really fucking sick of the Olympic theme.

Ah, San Marino. I only know it even exists because it’s a destination in Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

Senegal with one athlete. Another skier. Oh! Alpine skier. There’s a change.

There we are! USA! USA! USA!

Oh, look, there’s the chick from that Visa Check Card ad.

Turkey! Mmm… how much longer until Thanksgiving? Hehe. Neighbors across the street are Turkish. Cool people. Made sure not to mention I’m an eighth Greek.:scared: But yeah, I saw a map in their house, a map of Turkey that was in Turkish. There’s a town in southeast Turkey called Batman!

Hehe, damn Magyars. I wonder if any of them look like Alex. *looks* Nah, not really.

The USA rocks so much we lend athletes to other countries!

And, host nation, Italia!!! Look at that ovation.

Ah, here comes the flame. Funny how fucking fire gets so much security, hehehe.

Flag waving… BORING!!! Don’t care about Italian traditions. Yawn. Birth of Venus. Also boring! Oh, my God, they’re just killing time waiting for that fucking torch.

Some guy with accent is announcing something about the Olympics. He said the first part in Italian and is now speaking English. Now he’s speaking Italian again. Heh.

Okay, Susan Sarandon and others are bringing in the Olympic flag. Whatever. On with it! Don’t give a crap about their distinct backgrounds. On with it!

Goodie. Let’s sing the Olympic anthem now. Ugh. Maybe I’ll just take a nap instead.

Oh, how cute. All these acrobats dressed in white are crawling around on some big spider web to eventual form a peace dove.:roll:

Oh, great. Yoko Ono saying stuff. I think. Or she’s just babbling. Can’t tell. Peter Gabriel’s singing Imagine. Sort of. More like speaking it. Meh.

Ah, here’s comes the torch! Finally! A few Italian folks carried the torch, finally to some allegedly important chick, who set fire to something with the torch, and some badass pyrotechnics and accelerants ran the fucking thing clear up to the cauldron. Didn’t look so much like a cauldron. More like an artificial bundle of very large sticks. Meh.

Final surprise? This had better be good.:doitnow:

Pavarotti. Meh. Okay.

Yeah, this thing is over. So what. Good. Olympics are over. See you in 2008. Beijing, I believe.

Meh, I rarely watch the events. But, well, of course…. Go USA!!!!