December 22, 2019

Walking and Hoping

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 1:28 am

It’s officially winter now. Here’s a song I’ve been hearing a lot…

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?

If I’m hearing this song, I’m already listening to a lot of Christmas music, so I’d say yes.

In the lane snow is glistening

I wish. Supposed to get up to 50 degrees this week.

A beautiful sight we’re happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Snow walking is better than regular walking.

Gone away is the bluebird
Here to stay is the new bird

You were having trouble finding a rhyme there, weren’t you.

They sing a love song as we go along
Walking in a winter wonderland

Stalker birds? Or do they think they’re in a Disney movie?

In the meadow we can build a snowman


And pretend that he is Parson Brown


He’ll say “Are you married?” We’ll say “No, man.
But you can do the job while you’re in town.”

Now there’s a roundabout marriage proposal.

Later on, we’ll conspire

No more conspiracy theories. Snopes has enough to debunk as it is.

As we dream by the fire

Too cold to dream outside?

To face unafraid the plans that we made
Walking in a winter wonderland

Try not to be scared that you just agreed to be legally bound to spend a lot more time together.

In the meadow we can build a snowman

What are you locking yourselves into now?

And pretend that he’s a circus clown.

Tonight, the time by the fire will be less dreaming and more “can’t sleep, snow clown’ll eat me”.

We’ll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman
Until the other kiddies knock him down (come around).

“Other” kiddies? Ah, given the whole getting married thing earlier on I figured you were older. Whatever the case for whichever lyrics, these other kids seem to be saving you from the evil clown snowman.

When it snows ain’t it thrilling

Yes! Yes, it is.

Though your nose gets chilling

This cold nose thing is reminding me of the first couple lines of The Christmas Song. Almost expecting a culturally insensitive reference to-

We’ll frolic and play the Eskimo way

That’s racist.

Walking in a winter wonderland.

Maybe just stay inside. You’re getting delirious.

February 14, 2019

Mmmm, Candy Hearts 14

Filed under: Foodz,Idiot Box,Musical Musing,Think About It!,What the hell? — Katrina @ 11:35 pm

It’s Valentine’s Day! Time to muse about relationships while reading and eating the candy hearts-

Oh. There aren’t any this year.

Well, that’s a let down.

You know what else is a let down? Breakups.

To varying degrees anyway. But they always suck, even when the breakup is really in the best interest of both or all involved (which might well be the case for almost all of them, come to think of it). There’s the disappointment, the loss, the uncertainty. There’s wondering what went wrong, what should have been done differently, what you’re going to do now.

That much is obvious. That really all you can do at this point is move on, whatever that means.

What’s less obvious is that, in the process of this enigmatic moving on, you’ve got to put a lot of energy into not doing anything stupid!

Even the most amicable breakups involve hurt, anger, and resentment, which must be processed and navigated in the following period of time. During this, these feelings can lead to some irrational impulses, looking for what can be done to make the emotional agony stop. And you’ve got to mentally work hard to determine what action truly is reasonable or is just something you’re deeming reasonable because the brain can’t stand all the hurt, anger, and resentment fluttering around like mosquitoes and just wants to try anything to make them go away.

You can do it! I say “whatever that means” about moving on since there’s no point where you’ve explicitly moved on, and depending on the nature of the recently ended relationship some parts may stick with you long term. And that’s okay. But eventually you’ll latch onto something else (not necessarily another love interest, just anything that captivates you), which probably won’t pull you out of this funk totally but at least it’s something else to think about.

But until you get to that point, don’t do anything stupid!

Stupid can be something like getting drunk and sending a sappy text to your ex begging to get back together. Ugh. Don’t do that. It could also be sending them an angry message ripping them to pieces. Ugh. Don’t do that either. All you do is humiliate yourself, create bad (or worse) blood, and feel like shit about that along with all the other feelings that have not improved in this.

Or for some it can get more severe than that, such as threats, self-harm, vandalism, or violence. Obviously don’t do that. Seek help if you feel even the urge to do any of that (well, seeking help in general when going through this might be a good idea, for that matter). Certainly this sort of behavior helps and accomplishes nothing. What would give you the idea to do any of this in the first place?

Oh, right, all of popular media, where super toxic post-breakup behavior is portrayed as normal and expected.

Have I mentioned how much I hate Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats”? Where she sings about destroying her cheating boyfriend’s beloved car? Not cool. I mean, the car didn’t do anything wrong. And you’re looking at getting sued for damages, which, aside from the hefty bill, involves more interaction with said cheating asshole, an interaction where you’re the loser who is forced to pay him. Yikes!

I mean, I get that the song is not actually meant to encourage anyone to go out and destroy their exes’ vehicles but to capture the anger and betrayal and desire for revenge. Anyone who has been at the receiving end of this can certainly relate. Though these feelings manifest differently in different people, and this vehicular vandalism fantasy is not necessarily what someone in this position wants to hear. In fact, when someone is actually in a position of being betrayed by a loved one and is this special kind of vulnerable, is this really the kind of behavior to be encouraging, even if just in theory?

Of course, then there’s the Lily Allen video, where she sneaks laxatives into her ex’s drink and pays a gang to beat him up and ransack his apartment. Oy.

Then there’s however many sitcoms where exes bitterly hurt and sabotage each other or characters recount an ex burning their clothes or something that is completely utterly beyond the pale but is treated as if an inherent part of ending a relationship.

Then again, maybe this is supposed to be encouraging. Like “yeah, I feel bad right now, but at least I’m not doing that shit!” But what a low bar to meet!

And you most likely have it together enough not to do that shit. But when exes are so often portrayed as untrustworthy or even dangerous, how is someone processing a breakup supposed to feel? On top of it all, they get to watch someone in their position being demonized? Like, they’re going through this and their ex is with someone else already, and all of a sudden it’s, congratulations, you’re now the villain in every romantic comedy!

The object is to come through this trying time with as much grace and dignity as can be reasonably preserved, a challenge even without messages coming from all over trying to paint you as unstable.

Yup, once again, popular media can exaggerate and mislead about things.

I mean, I totally saw candy conversation hearts at Target the other day. They’re made by more than one company, you know.

December 22, 2017

Christmas Toys

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Estrogen,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 5:33 pm

Many Christmas songs are about or at least mention gift-giving, particularly to children. Some are even specific about it. Let’s see…

“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas”

The lyrics:
“A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben
Dolls that can talk and can go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen”

So then…
Gift for boys: Cowboy boots and a gun
Gift for girls: Doll

What else?

“Up on the Housetop”

The lyrics:
“First comes the stocking of little Nell
Oh dear Santa fill it well
Give her a dolly that laughs and cries
One that can open and shut her eyes.

Next comes the stocking of little Will
Oh just see what a glorious fill
Give him a hammer with lots of tacks
A whistle and a ball and a whip that cracks.”

So then…
Gift for boy: Hammer, tacks, whistle, ball, whip.
Gift for girl: Doll

Moving on…

“Run Rudolph Run”

The lyrics:
“Said Santa to a boy child
What is it you’re longing for?
All I want for Christmas is
A rock n roll electric guitar.

Said Santa to a girl child
What would please you most to get?
A little baby doll
That can cry, sleep, drink, and wet.”

So then…
Gift for boy: Guitar
Gift for girl: Doll

Okay, seeing a pattern here.

“Jolly Old St Nicholas”

The lyrics:
“Johnny wants a pair of skates
Suzy wants a dolly
Nellie wants a story book
She thinks dolls are folly.”

So then…
Gift for boy: Skates
Gift for girls: Doll… and a book!

Alright, so Nellie wants a story book, with the need to explain why she did not choose a doll. Whereas there was nothing saying that Suzy, or Johnny for that matter, considers books folly.

Although, this song does have alternate lyrics to this verse:
“Johnny wants a pair of skates
Suzy wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book
Yellow, blue, and red.”

So then…
Gift for boy: Skates
Gift for girls: Sled and picture book.

Hey, no doll! Suzy has decided sleds are more fun. Nellie, however, seems to have been downgraded to a picture book, one with specified colors for some reason. Perhaps this was a trade off. That, okay, no doll for either girl, and we’ll give Suzy an item for an actual winter activity much like Johnny’s skates, but in exchange, Nellie’s is a picture book now, because we can’t have a girl being too smart.

December 24, 2016

Sweetly Singing Through the Night

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 11:21 pm

It came upon the midnight clear
That glorious song of old
From angels bending near the earth
To touch their harps of gold
“Peace on the earth, good will to men
From heaven’s all gracious King.”
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come
With peaceful wings unfurled
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world.
Above its sad and lowly plains
They bend on hovering wing
And ever o’er its Babel sounds
The blessed angels sing.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife
The world has suffered long
Beneath the heavenly hymn have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong
And warring humankind hears not
The tidings which they bring
O hush the noise and cease your strife
And hear the angels sing!

For lo! The days are hastening on
By prophets seen of old
When with the ever circling years
Shall come the time foretold
When peace shall over all the earth
Its ancient splendors fling
And all the world give back the song
Which now the angels sing!

December 24, 2015

If Only in My Dreams

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 9:51 pm

Candles in the window
Shadows painting the ceiling
Gazing at the fire glow
Feeling that gingerbread feeling

Precious moments
Special people
Happy faces
I can see

Somewhere in my memory
Christmas joys all around me
Living in my memory
All of the music
All of the magic
All of the family
Home here with me.

December 19, 2015

LOL He’s Doomed

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing,The Occasional Godliness — Katrina @ 11:07 pm

In another fun edition of “weird shit in Christmas songs” let’s have a look at the old carol Personent Hodie, also known as “On This Day, Earth Shall Ring”.

Second verse starts off like this: “His the doom, ours the mirth, when he came down to earth.”

Mirth! We’re supposed to be mirthful that Jesus showed up as all human and stuff and bled out on the cross? I get that the idea was that he did all that for our sake for some convoluted reason, but it seems to be more than a little dickish to be mirthful about it.

I mean, I can see it being “how wonderful, he saved us!” But this makes it sound more like “Hahaha, he’s going to get crucified!”

Which, if anything, seems to render the crucifixion pointless.

December 18, 2015


Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 9:16 pm

Gather around. Gather around. Let’s sing!

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

Sounds hazardous.

Jack Frost nipping at your nose


Yuletide carols being sung by a choir

That’s nice.

And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

That’s racist.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright.

Being sleepy and kissing?

Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

Didn’t they get any turkey?

They know that Santa’s on his way
He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh


And every mother’s child is going to spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

These kids want proof of these supernatural claims. I like that.

And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two

What about 11-month-olds? What about 93-year-olds? Hmph!

Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you!

And no one is arresting you for saying it. Take note, Christian conservatives!

December 11, 2015

Home vs Roam

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 11:30 pm

Now what? Ah, this song…

Oh there’s no place like home for the holidays
Yup. Home is good. Not hoisting yourself elsewhere to visit horrible relatives.

Cause no matter how far away you roam
Wait, what?

When you pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze
Yeah, family is definitely not who I want to see for that.

For the holidays, you can’t beat home sweet home.

I met a man who lives in Tennessee, and he was heading for Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie
I’m sure he can get pumpkin pie back in Tennessee.

And Pennsylvania folks are traveling down to Dixie’s sunny shores
Seriously, these people are not going home for the holidays. They are leaving their homes!

From Atlantic to Pacific, gee the traffic is terrific

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays
Exactly! What’s with all this talk of holiday travel?

Cause no matter how far away you roam
Which shouldn’t be far at all if you stay the fuck home.

If you want to be happy in a million ways
As opposed to unhappy in a million ways, as traveling to visit family would surely mean.

For the holidays, you can’t beat home sweet home!
As long as you’re alone. Don’t need horrible relatives traveling in to bother you either. You can make your own pumpkin pie.

December 4, 2015

One Time a Thing Occurred to Me

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing,Think About It! — Katrina @ 11:43 pm

So you’ve probably heard that Scott Weiland of the Stone Temple Pilots died late last night.

So ends an iconic voice of 1990s music.

I’ve seen them in concert a couple of times. Wouldn’t call myself a big fan, but I definitely like a few of their songs. Particularly “Vasoline”. In any case, STP has clearly been an important part of the 1990s soundtrack of our lives, I suppose.

Think about it. Making music that affected people in so many ways, just as all other musicians. But also and more extraordinarily being sort of an essential piece of the scene of their time. It’s art. It’s part of culture. It generates emotions and such in people. That’s something special.

Scott Weiland was only 48, but, aside from at least making it way past 27 unlike so many others like him, he still added something to this world. Just like all other musicians. Just like all other artists. I suppose we all can only hope to do something like that, to any extent.

December 24, 2014

See What the Time’s Done

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 5:08 pm

Children sleeping
Snow is softly falling
Dreams are calling
Like bells in the distance.

We were dreamers
Not so long ago
But one by one
We all had to grow up.

When it seems the magic’s slipped away
We find it all again on Christmas Day!

Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that’s playing
There’s no time to waste
There’s so much to celebrate.

Believe in what you feel inside
And give your dreams the wings to fly
You have everything you need
If you just believe.

Trains move quickly
To their journey’s end
Are where we begin again.

Ships go sailing
Far across the sea
Trusting starlight
To get where they need to be

When it seems that we have lost our way
We find ourselves again on Christmas Day!

Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that’s playing
There’s no time to waste
There’s so much to celebrate.

Believe in what you feel inside
And give your dreams the wings to fly
You have everything you need
If you just believe.
If you just believe.
If you just believe.
If you just believe.
Just believe.
Just believe.

(song by Josh Groban, obviously)

December 23, 2014

Three Ships Too Far

Yay, Christmas songs are fun! 😀

I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning.

The Virgin Mary and Christ were there
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
The Virgin Mary and Christ were there
On Christmas Day in the mor-

*massive earthquake*

*reality itself seems to split at the seams*

Whoa! What’s happening?


Huh? What? What’s overloaded?


There is? How so?


I didn’t write that song. I was just singing it. Besides, what’s wrong with ships?


What if they’re flying ships?


For the same reason there’s a baby born from a virgin impregnated by God, under a conveniently placed star. Why the hell not flying ships?


Speaking of supernatural, what the hell are you supposed to be?


How about repairing reality? Whatever you are, you sure pitch a fit when the nativity scene gets out of whack. Wait, does this mean you’re…?


*reality restores itself*

Huh. That was weird.

December 22, 2014

Rondo alla Builders and Bashers

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 11:45 pm

One of my favorite pieces of classical music is Mozart’s “Rondo alla Turca”. Believe me, you know the piece even if you don’t know the name. Go find it on YouTube, listen to the first three seconds, and be all “oh yeah, this one!”

Told you!

Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes. So, like I said, this has always been one of my favorite classical pieces. Just a few years ago, I finally taught myself to play it on the piano, though not very well. It’s a lot of fast parts and unnatural stretching of the hands for some monstrous chords! But I more or less got it down and have thus achieved a goal I’ve had a long time. Yay!

So how did this piece of music come to my attention? Did I hear it on a classical radio station at a special time that it stuck with me? Did I see or hear someone perform it at an event I attended?


It’s one of the background music tracks in Lemmings. 😛


How I found what would become one of my favorites was hearing it repeatedly while trying to steer some adorable little blue-green idiots through a bunch of violent obstacles.

Here, give it a listen. It’s the first level here, Fun 11, and the first level in which it plays.

So, yeah, that’s some serious rocking out there. :cute:

But, no, it’s not weird. This sort of thing is why the music from Super Mario Bros. and Legend of Zelda is so popular and beloved. Because we all spent so much time listening to it while working our way through these games that the sounds grew on us.

And, hey, I got lucky in that the Lemmings background track that caught my attention was one that was already a real piece of music and not one of the created-for-the-game tunes as several of the others are.

On a related note, all the above having taken place like literally 20 years ago, it was only a year and a half ago that I learned that one of the other Lemmings tracks is a modified version of Pachelbel’s Canon.

December 21, 2014

Background Music

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing,Think About It! — Katrina @ 11:48 pm

You know what’s fun about listening to Christmas music? Well, a lot of things.

One thing is that it makes everything you do seem like it’s part of your very own Christmas special. That mundane actions suddenly become festive.

Filing paperwork? Meh. Filing paperwork with “Sleigh Ride” in the background? Festive!

Driving to the grocery store? Meh. Driving to the grocery store with “Jingle Bell Rock” in the background? Festive!

Stuck in traffic while in a hurry? Meh. Stuck in traffic while in a hurry with “Carol of the Bells” in the background? Festive!

Sitting around eating cookies? Delicious. Sitting around eating cookies with “Holly Jolly Christmas” in the background? Still delicious. And festive.

December 18, 2014

Hurry Down

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 11:37 pm

What’s that sound? Is that Eartha Kitt?

Oh no. Aww, man, I hate this song!

Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree for me.
I’ve been an awful good girl.

Fur is murder, you know. How good can you be?

Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

He’s got a lot of other houses to visit. Settle down.

Santa Baby, a ’54 convertible too, light blue
I’ll wait up for you dear.

I think you’re supposed to be asleep when he visits- ohhhh…

Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

You just requested a specific car. Give him a minute!

Think of all the fun I missed

What fun? Did you not go on a roller coaster you wanted to ride?

Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed.

Whoa! Why would Santa have any problem with you kissing someone? Are you… saving yourself for Santa?

Next year I’ll be just as good
If you’ll check off my Christmas list.

Wait, seriously, how does having fun or kissing a guy make you not good? That’s not right.

Santa Baby, I want a yacht and really that’s not a lot

You’re getting an inflatable raft and you’re going to like it!

I’ve been an angel all year.

Somehow I think we have different definitions of “angel”.

Santa Baby, hurry down the chimney tonight.

There are children who might not get a Christmas meal, but yeah, he should rush right out and get you a goddamn boat.

Santa Honey, one thing I really do need… the deed

A deed? To what? A mansion? A fancy car? A fancy resort?

To a platinum mine.

Wha… what? Huh? What?

Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

He’ll get to you when he gets to you. Go take a cold shower.

Santa Cutie, fill my stocking with a duplex and checks

Wait, a duplex? As in one of them townhouses with one other house attached? Rather than, say, a mansion. And even so, it needs to be inside the stocking. With checks. What, too good for tens and twenties?

Sign your X on the line

What makes you think Santa is illiterate?

Santa Baby, hurry down the chimney tonight.

Yes, yes, hurry and supply a mediocre house and an unspecified amount of money.

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany’s

Pick up some breakfast while you’re at it.

I really do believe in you
Let’s see if you believe in me.


Santa Baby, forgot to mention one little thing

Uh oh.

A ring


I don’t mean on the phone!

I… didn’t think you meant that at all. Are you supposed to be Mrs. Claus then? *facepalm*

Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight!

Yeah… he’ll get right on that…

December 17, 2014

Coventry Carol 2

A couple years ago I wrote about Coventry Carol and what I realized about the lyrics.

About a tiny child, presumably Jesus, being referred to as a youngling.

And that Jesus, therefore, is a Jedi.

But just recently I learned some more about the song, in that said tiny child actually isn’t Jesus. The song is about the Massacre of the Holy Innocents. When Herod went looking for Jesus in order to kill him and ended up ordering all first born boys under age two to be killed.

The song is a mother singing to her soon-to-be murdered baby.


Well, this doesn’t change anything. It just means that the Bible forgot the part where Obi-Wan shows up and walks among the slain sadly, saying “Not even the younglings survived.”

December 15, 2014

No Glowing Anymore

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 9:49 pm

So I was listening to (sigh, here it is again) the Christmas music on 97.1 WASH the other day at work via its website, when I glanced at the page to see what the next song was going to be.

It was…

The Rolling Stones, “Paint It Black”

Huh? That’s not even in the station’s regular lineup. (Awesome song, though.)

I had the music turned down to barely audible at the moment so I turned it up. What was actually playing was Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Now ever since I keep singing to myself “I have a red nose and I want it painted black…”

Hey, it fits! 😀

December 11, 2014

Christmas in Africa

Filed under: Check It Out,Christmas Time!,Musical Musing,Teh Interwebs — Katrina @ 11:00 pm

You’d think I should know better now after what happened last week, but I’ve continued browsing cool Christmas stuff on Wikipedia. And so far there has been significantly less child abuse.

I was looking through the Christmas Traditions article, with what countries all over the world do at Christmas. It’s pretty neat. Haven’t gotten all the way through it yet.

I had the radio on, playing the Christmas music. And guess what notoriously geographically-impaired song came on!

“There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time. The greatest gift they’ll get this year is light. Where nothing ever grows, no rain nor rivers flow… do they know it’s Christmas time at all?”


Christmas in South Africa is a public holiday celebrated on 25 December. Many European traditions are maintained despite the distance from Europe.

Christmas trees are set up in homes and the children are given presents in their stockings. Traditional ‘fir’ Christmas trees are popular and children leave a stocking out for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. The gift bearer is Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.

The Christmas meal is mince pies, turkey, roast beef or a barbecue outdoors. The meal is finished with Christmas Pudding. Christmas crackers are used to make noise.

Okay, I guess they don’t mean South Africa. Surely the rest of Africa is devoid of holiday spirit- oh…

Christmas Day is a public holiday in Nigeria which is always marked by the emptying of towns and cities as Nigerians that have been successful returning to their ancestral villages to be with family and to bless those less fortunate. As the towns and cities empty, people jam the West African markets to buy and transport live chickens, goats and cows that will be needed for the Christmas meals.

On Christmas Eve, traditional meals are prepared according to the traditions of each region. Rather than having sweets and cakes, Nigerians as a whole tend to prepare various meats in large quantities.

Huh. Okay, Nigeria seems to have this whole Christmas thing down. But then again, that song was more specifically about Ethiopia, right? And it’s not like they- oh, look at that!

Christmas Day in Ethiopia is celebrated on January 7. Many people who are Christian in Ethiopia, go to Church on the Eve of Christmas, and stay there all night until 4am the next day on Christmas while doing many spiritual prayer and rituals like Liturgy and Holy Communion.

Oh, snap!

Well, alright. Ethiopia has a lot of Coptic Christians. They in fact do know it’s Christmas time, just like Nigeria and South Africa. But maybe it’s just them, and that the rest of Africa doesn’t know about Christmas…

Or they do, since according to this map, only in Morocco, Mauritania, Libya, Tunisia, SADR, and Somalia is Christmas NOT a public holiday.

Though the song is from 30 years ago so who knows what’s different between then and now. And there’s some new version of it out now that seems to have changed the above line. That’s something. But the original is played frequently, complete with misleading information. And it’s stuck in my head now and I’m still annoyed because it’s three weeks into the Christmas music and I’ve only heard them play Canon twice with its nice lyrics of not-totally-sure-what-but-at-least-not-geographical-misrepresentation. :irked:

December 5, 2014

The Ninth One

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 9:07 pm

*begins music and chimes and crap*

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen

Are they the guys who own that gay bar down the street?

Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.

I only see Donner. With Comet’s, Cupid’s, and Blitzen’s antlers in front of him on his dinner plate.

But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?

If I know the less famous ones, I’d probably know the most famous. Unless I’m some kind of hipster.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny nose

Why is that? Does he have a cold?

And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.

That’s a serious cold.

All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.

Hehe. Good friends ripping on each other. What fun.

They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.

Okay, that’s not friendly. That’s just bullying and bigoted.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,
“Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”

The millennia-old saint with flying reindeer and elves and a home at the North Pole who can break all of the laws of physics delivering gifts all over the world is stymied by fucking FOG!

Then how the reindeer loved him, and they shouted out with glee,

So basically they changed their tune completely once he proved to be useful. Flaky assholes. Or did Santa make up all that “I can’t fly in fog!” crap just to pretend Rudolph was useful so the other reindeer would stop being dicks to him?

“Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer! You’ll go down in history!”

Brought to you by Montgomery Ward.

December 1, 2014

O Canon, Where Art Thou?

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing,What the hell? — Katrina @ 11:52 pm

It’s Christmas time! It’s that magical time of year when the regular mundane world undergoes some little festive changes. Greensleeves becomes “What Child Is This?”. Forest Green becomes “O Little Town of Bethlehem”. Little Deuce Coupe becomes “Little Saint Nick”. And Pachelbel’s Canon in D becomes Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s “Christmas Canon“.

Christmas Canon!

When local radio station 97.1 WASH (dear God, I mention them a lot on here!) switched from their usual light pop to Christmas mode the Friday before Thanksgiving, I stayed by the radio, even while at work, all day, as I usually do when the Christmas songs start, to hear songs I hadn’t heard in 11 months. Songs I have mixed reactions to. But eventually they would play Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s “Christmas Canon”! The lovely piece of music that when I first heard it about eight years ago on this station on my alarm clock radio I thought the radio had somehow turned to a classical music station. Then I became a little obsessed with the song, because damn it, it is beautiful and YOU WILL BOW TO CHRISTMAS CANON!

So Friday before Thanksgiving I listened to the station at first on my alarm clock radio and later through their website when I got to work.


No, just It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.

Next song. Canon?

No, just O Holy Night.

Next song. Canon?

Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s… Christmas Eve Sarajevo 12/24 (the rockin’ Carol of the Bells rendition we all know and love). Welp, no more TSO for the rest of the hour then. I’ll get coffee.

Now what?

Oh, Caroling Caroling. I like that song. It’s cute.

Alright. How about Canon?

Nope. It’s the infamous Do They Know It’s Christmas?.

Come on! Many of these songs have been played several times already. Where the hell is Canon? It usually gets pretty frequent play.

Ugh, not Santa Claus Is Coming to Town!

Now yet another rendition of Silver Bells!

At least Happy Xmas (War Is Over) is getting a lot of play. That’s another one I don’t get tired of, whether John Lennon or one of the covers.

But where the hell is Christmas Canon? It’s been all day.

You know when I finally heard it? When I went home and played it on Winamp because of course I have the damn song. But I didn’t hear it on the radio station until the following Monday afternoon. Did they play it before then? I don’t know. Even I finally gave up after a while. But even though I’ve still had the station on during the day at work, I haven’t heard it on there since then.

In fact, Trans-Siberian Orchestra is touring right now, and will be in DC on the 17th. You know what the tour is promoting? Their album “The Christmas Attic”. The album which contains… Christmas Canon!

I mean, you’d think the station would want to play it more then! And even so, why not? They can play I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus as often as they do, which I really really doubt anyone actually likes, but the sweet aurally-pleasing Christmas Canon is getting totally snubbed this year.

So maybe I need to head over to the station with an ultimatum. And a cannon. Because apparently we’re all cartoon characters and thus have ready access to cannons. And I’ll say “Canon? Or cannon? Choose wisely.”

At worst, a miscommunication might leave me with a rather nice copier.

January 1, 2014

Take a Cup of Kindness

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Musical Musing — Katrina @ 6:47 pm

Happy New Year!

*taps conductor wand thingy*

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?

Depends. Were they good or were they dicks to you?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of Auld Lang Syne?

See above.

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear
For Auld Lang Syne
We’ll take a cup of kindness yet
For Auld Lang Syne!

Getting wasted on kindness? Good idea!


Hmm. I might be immune. Oh, well.

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