So I was at Best Buy earlier this evening and looking at this laptop I’m thinking of getting. Laptop runs Windows Vista, which I hadn’t really looked at properly before. So I stood there and moved the cursor around and checking out various stuff. Ick, I don’t use laptops much so I’m not used to the touchpad thingy for the mouse cursor.

Anyway, a mandatory stop, I went to see what the Vista version of Minesweeper is like. I already knew from a while ago that it would be different. How different?

Very.

Smilie face is gone! The squares are now blue, though it looks like you can make them green. Okay, that much is fine, though being without the smilie face is a knock.

Mine field difficulties are about the same. When you hit a mine, it shows them all like normal and then they all explode, heh. And then what happens? You have the option of restarting the exact same mine field! Weird.

And apparently you can save your game.

They ditched the high score board more or less.

And there seems to be an option of changing the mode of the game from Minesweeper to something called Flower Garden. Flowers instead of mines?! Oy.

And Sevens and Eights are kind of a maroon color. I think.

Vista Minesweeper confuses and angers me!

Or maybe it was just me being a n00b with the touchpad mouse cursor. Something like that.

But they should have kept the smilie face!

Anyway, then I came to the thing that blew my mind. The cheats section. Normally, I disapprove of cheats. But I was still curious. I’d seen one before that isn’t really a cheat since it doesn’t always work, but works most of the time from what I could tell. When you’re playing Minesweeper and you’re down to where you have to guess between two adjacent squares, try to click the exact middle between them, and it’ll be the number. Doesn’t always work, and might just be a myth, but something.

But today, I learned of an even better one! One that does work.

Alright, now, click your Start button. Programs. Games. Minesweeper. Open that up. Got it? Good. Now type in “xyzzy”. Then hit SHIFT. Now move your cursor around the mine field. While doing so, look up at the top left most corner of your screen. That top left pixel is changing colors, isn’t it!

Black means you’re over a mine. White means you’re good.

Apparently this has been a feature in Minesweeper all along, ever since Windows 3.1! I’ve been playing this game since I was nine, so this comes as quite the surprise. So I figured I’d give it a try.

Goodness. Impossible custom mine fields are actually possible. When you get into a point where you have to guess, well, you don’t have to guess!

Best of all, this means there’s a cure to the Eight Trap!

You know, when you’ve got a three by four block of squares with flags around the perimeter, with two squares in between, you know one of them is a mine, but there’s no way to know. You either open an Eight or you *gasp* hit the side of an Eight!

But no more! The absolutely horrible phenomenon of hitting the side of an Eight can just go extinct!

Of course, there’s downsides to the detector pixel. For one, it makes the game incredibly boring. Also, it makes the game incredibly slow! Certainly not worth it if you’re going for a best time. Really best to just be used when down to the end and having to guess.

Makes you wonder that you should have even known about it in the first place. Makes you feel kind of corrupted, kind of spoiled.

Oh, well, still a fun tool and adds a bit of spice to the game.

And I can’t say THIS wasn’t seriously fucking COOL!

Minesweeper: The Movie

“That clock is going to keep ticking until it reaches 999!”

“What happens then?”

“Nothing! You just suck!”

Click to see! (Opens new window. Damn thing was too wide and knocked off my sidebar items, ugh.)

Height: 16
Width: 30
Mines: 140

That’s by far my best time on it, too. I usually finish it up over 200.

Would have been sweeter if there were Sevens or Eights. Meh. Some other time, perhaps.

Why do I play Minesweeper? I play it not for the high scores, although they’re a nice bonus here and there. I play for the numbers. Ones, Twos, and Threes are common. Fours, too. Fives show up here and there as a reminder of just how easily you could lose. After all, at that point there’s more mines around than not. Six! Uh oh. But then we get to the more elusive top numbers, those not so common (so long as you’re not in the Custom 435, where they are pretty much the only non-mine squares).

There is the Seven. Seven mines around that square plus one non-mine. A bit of a treat. Like “Whoa, holy shit! A Seven!” Takes you by surprise. But even the regal Seven falls just short of the mighty one…

Eight!!! The magnificent, elusive Eight. The Fortress itself.

I opened this one just earlier. Yay! Always a treat. As you can tell, I later hit a mine, but screw it. I opened an Eight!

And then come the deep thoughts. An Eight touches no other number. An Eight cannot be opened via that simultaneously clicking method. You know, when you’ve got a number that already has the correct number of flags around it, so you click the left and right mouse buttons at the same time to open the rest of the squares around it. Nor can that method be used with an Eight. You cannot know for sure if a square is an Eight until you’ve opened it. And that in and of itself is a risk of finding that the square there surrounded by eight mines is just another mine itself. This is called a Nine Square.

Eights are lonely and just want someone to play with. Eights are mysterious and misunderstood. Eights are rare. Eights don’t often show up on a winning mine field but are so happy when they do. Yet Eights are bold and daring. Eights live completely surrounded by death. Eights are like where Trapper was standing in that one episode of M*A*S*H when he was trying to save that Korean boy from the mine field. Eights are definite, in that you know where all the mines around it are, for the squares are all mines. Eights were grey in Windows 3.1 and 95. They turned skinny and black in Windows 98 and NT. Then for Windows 2000 and XP they returned to the Classic Fortress, the classic thick grey Eight.

On the really rare occasion, there is more than one Eight on the mine field, although obviously not such a rare phenomenon in the Custom 435 (which, by the way, is a 16 by 30 mine field with 435 mines in it, the highest allowed). It’s like you open one and are like “Woo hoo! Eight!” Then, in the course of playing a bit more, “Whoa! Another Eight!” It’s a beautiful thing.

That’s all for now. Stay tuned for more amazing Minesweeper phenomena. What will I discuss later? The changing views as Windows operating systems progressed. The divine Minesweeper terminology, decided solely by me. The ever-present mine traps and how much they suck. Best times. General playing tips. And much, much more!

Anyway, you’re probably wondering how I came up with such a name. Eight Mine Fortress. Just what is that? Well, much of what gets churned out and posted on this site took lots of thinking. When I think, I like to play a game, and that game is almost invariably Minesweeper. I play it not so much for best times, although I do sometimes. I play for the numbers. I play for the more elusive numbers trapped in squares surrounded by lots of mines. Sevens are fascinating in and of themselves. Always a treat to open one of them, particular in Expert (as opposed to the same-dimensioned but higher mine density custom fields I play). Yet the Seven always pales in comparison to the wondrous joy that is opening an Eight.

Elusive Eight. Trapped on all sides by mines, touches no other number. That’s what I play for, and that’s what I think for. Whether the pleasant occasion of seeing Eight or the light bulb in my head when I get a damn good idea, it is rare and great.

Although, perhaps a better answer in regards to why this site is named Eight Mine Fortress is because, well, I just felt like it!

Oh, did I mention that my nickname for an Eight in Minesweeper is a Fortress? Well, it is.