Sure, Why Not?

You know what I’m sick of? The stupid little “controversy” over vegetarianism. Everyone has their own little retarded assumptions every which way, and they’re all so dumb. So let’s get a few things straight.

For one, people choose to be vegetarians for a LOT of reasons. It doesn’t always have to do with said vegetarian not wanting to kill animals, dumbass. Could be a religious thing. Could just not like meat. While recognizing that the meat is “already dead”, could just not like the idea of eating animal flesh in general. Could be all sorts of reasons.
(more…)

And now, for a deliciously, lipid-packed edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Why do people always think they’re fat?

I get this now and then. Someone (almost invariably a girl, but guys on seldom occasions) who is not fat starts complaining that she’s fat and needs to lose weight and not eat sugar, etc. Then, of course, she sees me, and is all like “How does Katrina stay so thin? She snacks so much!”
(more…)

Now for a caffeinated, customer service lacking edition of…

YOU SUCK!

Office Depot. They seriously suck.

So, at work, we’ve got this little single serve coffee machine with a bunch of little cups of coffee and tea that go into it. This one company supplied it for us, and, honestly, their service sucked ass. As does the coffee itself, but it’s all we’ve got. They got orders wrong. Orders got delayed. Major mess.

So then they get bought out by Office Depot.

And, if you can believe it, they are even WORSE!
(more…)

I can’t stress that enough. Pizza is damn good stuff. Guys love pizza. We all know that. But girls love the stuff, too.

Now I realize that must come as a surprise to you. Your mother told you pizza was junk food. You never see women eating pizza in commercials. Always guys. Chicks prefer the femininity of a chicken caesar salad. You know that.

Yet here I come with this earth shattering revelation. Girls love pizza. Girls are supposed to scorn guys for pizza? No. Girls love pizza. It is the truth. Why, I myself am a girl who loves pizza! I’m far from alone.
(more…)

Two weeks ago, I decided it would be nice to have a nice big candy bowl on my desk at work. Picked up four bags of candy from grocery store, found a big bowl in the kitchen at work, and filled it with the Reese’s cups, Kit Kats, Snickers, and 3 Musketeers I had just purchased. My desk is right up front there, so it would be a nice treat for passers by. I’m just cool like that.

You know what? It went over nicely. Some remarks I got were interesting. My boss kept telling me the candy was evil (while taking one). At least three people wondered how I could sit there all day with this big ass candy bowl in front of me and not eat all of it. Others “complained” that putting that candy there was just going to make them fat.
(more…)

You know what I had for lunch today? Nothing fancy. An “everything bagel” I’d bought at Panera yesterday morning along with an entire package of Oscar Mayer meats. It was one of those variety packs with three slices of white turkey, three slices of turkey ham (whatever the fuck that is!), three slices of bologna, and three slices of cotto salami. Yummy!
(more…)

That’s right, folks! Another herbal, piping hot session of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

Tea. That’s what sucks. Every once in a while, however, I tend to totally forget how much it sucks. Then I might make myself a cup, only to soon enough realize “Why the hell am I drinking this shit?” You know the trouble with tea? It tricks you. Just today at work, where we have this cool machine that you put these tiny packets into to make coffee and tea, I saw a little packet of Chai. I had never had Chai tea before, and people say how great it is, so I figured I’d give it a chance. After the machine did its thing, I took my cup back to my desk and waited a bit for it to cool down enough to drink, and I took a sip.
(more…)

And now, for another swimmingly delicious, thunniform session of:

Here’s To You!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, tuna!”

For you see, tuna is some of the greatest food in the world. Some people think steak is so wonderful. Meh. Others have certain partiality to pork. Well, whatever. But what’s truly wonderful is tuna.

Put it in a casserole! Eat it out of the can! Make it into a salad. Have it in a sub. Slap a slab of it on the grill. Leave it raw and gulp down its divinity, for it is King of Sushi. Or at least I say it is. That’s all that matters.

Tuna is great. Tuna is delicious. Tuna is godly. Let’s all eat some tuna!

Oh, and anyone who doesn’t like tuna or any seafood can, of course, go screw themselves.

The pilot episode of Family Guy was on the other night on Cartoon Network. Lois brought out dinner to the table and said “I know you all hate eggplant…” (cut off when Stewie fired a laser at her that just barely missed, hehehe) as she was serving it. And it got me thinking. If the entire family hates eggplant, why the hell is she making it?
(more…)