June 21, 2010

Kids Aren’t Any Fatter Than Your Head

Now for tubby, chubby edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

I’m so fucking sick of hearing about childhood obesity everywhere I look. It’s all “oh noes, kids are fat, kids are unhealthy, aaahhh!”

Alright, some of them might be above a healthy weight. So what do you do about it? Maybe they go play in the park a little longer. Maybe they eat some healthier foods. In any case, maybe the adults so involved with these kids’ lives should give the kids healthier options if they aren’t already. Maybe help them (and set an example by doing it themselves) develop healthier habits in general.

Of course, since when do adults actually take personal responsibility for helping young people do better? In ways other than finger pointing and berating the youth, that is. That’s right, they don’t, so they blame everything else they can. So the blame gets put on what mascots fast food chains are using or even, stupidly enough, whether the cartoons they’re watching depict fat characters! (Not to mention the slimming down of Santas I mentioned a couple years ago.)
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May 20, 2010

Milk or Water

Filed under: Decrees!,Foodz,What the hell? — Katrina @ 1:37 pm

I hereby decree…

You don’t have anything to drink.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone over to someone’s house, and been expected and invited, and when either I asked if they had anything to drink or they offered something to drink, and I asked what they had, they replied, “Milk. Water.”

*facepalm*

So, in other words, you don’t have anything. Who the hell goes to someone’s house to drink fucking MILK? Water might be okay, even though they’re usually just talking about unfiltered tap water.

It’s one thing if I’m just one guest, or one of two or three. But I’ve seen this even when someone is hosting a good sized gathering at their house, and there isn’t shit to drink besides those two non-options. And probably didn’t bother to tell the guests beforehand to bring their own drinks.

Maaaybe there might be juice. Depends what kind of juice. But that’s at least something. It actually has flavor. Same with iced tea, so long as it’s actually sweetened.

Or sometimes they might have juices, sodas, etc. Except they didn’t bother to put any of it in the refrigerator beforehand, so it’s all warm! Lame!

I don’t mean to sound like as a guest to someone’s house that means I’m entitled to them having stuff I like. Yet if I brought my own drinks without being invited to do so, could be seen as rude. *shrug*

Of course, got to wonder, is milk and water all they drink? Or did they just happen to run out of real drinks right before having guests over? Or is this a common case of hosting fail?

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m thirsty, and am going to get some orange juice. The kind fortified with calcium so I don’t have to drink milk! 🙂

January 5, 2010

Happy Meal

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Foodz,Think About It! — Katrina @ 10:31 pm

So I was just making my dinner, some steak and fries, when I had a thought. The fries I was making were some of those McCain “Smiles”, fries shaped like smilie faces. And then I thought to myself “I’m having a happy meal!”

And then I wondered… why the hell aren’t the McDonald’s fries, or at least the Happy Meal ones, shaped like smilie faces? Wouldn’t that make more sense? The things clearly exist. Or would that be a bit too much happy? Is there a such thing as too much happy? 🙂

December 8, 2009

Thirty Second Pissing Contest

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Foodz,Idiot Box,Rants — Katrina @ 1:42 pm

You know what I’m sick of? Commercials that are basically nothing but a pissing contest between two rival companies. You get pretty much no actual information about their products. Just basically “the other guy sucks ass!” I mean, true, that’s about what advertising is, but it seems to be less about advertising and more about expensively airing a stupid spat.

I know right now we’re all thinking of the same spat. Microsoft vs. Mac. The “I’m a PC” crap versus the “I’m a Mac” crap. The Mac ads with the conversation with the “hip, young Mac” against the “old stuffy PC”, so they’re at least mildly ageist. And the PC ads all like “Macs are expensive and shitty, lulz”. Goddamn, STFU both of you.

It’s bad enough our entertainment is being interrupted to view these things, but they also are mindnumbing.
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December 29, 2008

Not Again

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Foodz,Rants — Katrina @ 11:12 pm

So I was at the grocery store today and needed some more soda. I go to the aisle and see the 12-packs of Coke are on sale. I always get Vanilla Coke because it’s awesome stuff.

Except this time, there didn’t seem to be any.

*facepalm*

You know, I like totally got hooked on this stuff when it came out in the summer of 2002. Like regular Coke but with a bit of vanilla yumminess. Then 2005 ended and it disappeared from the shelves. :irked:

But not long later it returned. Yay! I was happy again.

And now it seems to be gone again. 🙁

Goddamn it, Coca Cola, stop jerking me around. It’s bad enough you don’t sell Five Alive in this country anymore and I’d have to go all the fucking way to Canada to get some. Then you’ve got this yo-yo act with Vanilla Coke. You fucking suck! :doitnow:

December 3, 2008

Three Square Meals

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Foodz,What the hell? — Katrina @ 7:14 pm

Whose dumbass idea was it that we have to eat three full-sized meals per day, whereas snacking is discouraged?

You know who has the right idea? The Greeks. And some other Mediterranean cultures (take your pick, very little difference). Specifically the concept of “mezze”. They’re like appetizers, but a lot of them, different ones. Some dolmathakia here. Some melitzanosalata and some pita bread there… Okay, fine, rather, some stuffed grape leaves here and some eggplant dip with pita bread there… *mutters something about uncultured swine*
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June 4, 2008

Chicken Fingers and PB&J

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer,Foodz,Rants,You Suck — Katrina @ 7:20 pm

Now, for a cultureless culinary edition of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

So I was glancing through some menus of local restaurants earlier today while I was at work, making myself hungry. Italian. Tex-Mex. Asian fusion. Good stuff. But there was one common little problem each of these menus had, a common little problem very common to menus.

It was, of course, the kids’ menu.
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April 28, 2008

Trix Wisdom

Filed under: Foodz,Idiot Box,You Suck,Youth Rights — Katrina @ 10:23 pm

Now for a teasing, fruity version of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

Something I can say for sure that has irked me for pretty much my entire life are Trix cereal commercials. You know, you’ve got a bunch of kids enjoying Trix and the rabbit wants some, but he is denied time after time because of the classic retch-inducing line: “Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!”

So ever since I was a tiny little kid and on through to today, on the rare occasion I still watch anything early enough in the day for a Trix ad to come on, I’ve watched that poor animated rabbit suffer the jeers and taunts of the animated people refusing him a cereal he has desperately wanted. He’s had to resort to outright stealing to entering contests on the quick to disguises to whatever else, all of which could be avoided if the kids would learn to fucking share. I mean, it’s kids these ads are aimed for. But what does it teach them? Entitlement based on superficial factors. Bigotry. Selfishness. Arrogance.
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February 28, 2008

Language of Coffee, Addendum

Filed under: Foodz,Idiot Box,Rants,What the hell? — Katrina @ 7:22 pm

Alright, I’m ranting about the same thing twice in a row. I must be out of ideas! Or I just have more to say the subject. Whatever.

As I’m writing this, I’ve got a venti (that’s right, venti, suck it, Dunkin’ Donuts) white mocha next to me, nice hot tasty drink on a cold day like this! While in Starbucks, I thought some more about the ridiculous ads Dunkin’ Donuts is running. Seriously, you’ve GOT to be majorly mindless to not understand the menu! That “your mouth can’t form these words”. What is this, the 1950’s? I mean, if anything, those ads are running at least a couple decades too late, if their whole campaign is, as I said a couple days ago, that Starbucks is bad because their menu isn’t American enough. Despite the fact that Dunkin’ Donuts’s menu isn’t THAT different.
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February 24, 2008

Language of Coffee

Filed under: Foodz,Idiot Box,Rants,Shut the Hell Up!,What the hell? — Katrina @ 11:54 pm

Now, for a caffeinated, beany version of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Someone shoot whoever made those mind-numbing Dunkin’ Donuts ads with all the idiots looking at what they’re implying is the Starbucks menu with a bunch of weird sounding names, and acting like they can’t understand what it’s saying. “Lulz, is it French or is it Italian… or perhaps Fritalian?”

First of all, it’s Italian, morons. I don’t know where you’re getting French from.
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October 4, 2007

Feel Alive

Filed under: Decrees!,Foodz,What the hell? — Katrina @ 9:27 pm

I hereby decree…

MOAR FIVE ALIVE IN TEH USA, PLZ THX!!!

Um, wow. Chatspeak attack. Let’s try that one again.

Five Alive should be sold more in the USA!

What’s Five Alive? It’s a kind of juice, under the Coca-Cola umbrella. It’s delicious. It used to be around a lot in the United States back when I was little. In concentrate form, anyway. I liked it. Then didn’t have it any more for a while. Stopped selling it I guess.
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May 27, 2007

Let Them Not Eat Meat

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer,Foodz,Rants,What the hell? — Katrina @ 9:05 pm

You know what I’m sick of? The stupid little “controversy” over vegetarianism. Everyone has their own little ridiculous assumptions every which way, and they’re all so dumb. So let’s get a few things straight.

For one, people choose to be vegetarians for a LOT of reasons. It doesn’t always have to do with said vegetarian not wanting to kill animals, dumbass. Could be a religious thing. Could just not like meat. While recognizing that the meat is “already dead”, could just not like the idea of eating animal flesh in general. Could be all sorts of reasons.
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January 26, 2007

I’m Not Guilty, You’re Not Fat

Filed under: Estrogen,Foodz,Rants,Shut the Hell Up!,What the hell? — Katrina @ 7:43 pm

And now, for a deliciously, lipid-packed edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Why do people always think they’re fat?

I get this now and then. Someone (almost invariably a girl, but guys on seldom occasions) who is not fat starts complaining that she’s fat and needs to lose weight and not eat sugar, etc. Then, of course, she sees me, and is all like “How does Katrina stay so thin? She snacks so much!”
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December 29, 2006

Coffee Please?

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Foodz,Rants,You Suck — Katrina @ 11:52 pm

Now for a caffeinated, customer service lacking edition of…

YOU SUCK!

Office Depot. They seriously suck.

So, at work, we’ve got this little single serve coffee machine with a bunch of little cups of coffee and tea that go into it. This one company supplied it for us, and, honestly, their service sucked ass. As does the coffee itself, but it’s all we’ve got. They got orders wrong. Orders got delayed. Major mess.

So then they get bought out by Office Depot.

And, if you can believe it, they are even WORSE!
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November 14, 2006

Girls Love Pizza

Filed under: Estrogen,Foodz — Katrina @ 9:52 pm

I can’t stress that enough. Pizza is damn good stuff. Guys love pizza. We all know that. But girls love the stuff, too.

Now I realize that must come as a surprise to you. Your mother told you pizza was junk food. You never see women eating pizza in commercials. Always guys. Chicks prefer the femininity of a chicken caesar salad. You know that.

Yet here I come with this earth shattering revelation. Girls love pizza. Girls are supposed to scorn guys for pizza? No. Girls love pizza. It is the truth. Why, I myself am a girl who loves pizza! I’m far from alone.
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October 27, 2006

Candy Bowl

Filed under: Foodz,Youth Rights — Katrina @ 9:44 pm

Two weeks ago, I decided it would be nice to have a nice big candy bowl on my desk at work. Picked up four bags of candy from grocery store, found a big bowl in the kitchen at work, and filled it with the Reese’s cups, Kit Kats, Snickers, and 3 Musketeers I had just purchased. My desk is right up front there, so it would be a nice treat for passers by. I’m just cool like that.

You know what? It went over nicely. Some remarks I got were interesting. My boss kept telling me the candy was evil (while taking one). At least three people wondered how I could sit there all day with this big ass candy bowl in front of me and not eat all of it. Others “complained” that putting that candy there was just going to make them fat.
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June 15, 2006

Behind Every Bag of Chips…

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer,Foodz,Think About It! — Katrina @ 6:19 pm

So I was at Safeway early this morning right before going into work, and I walk by this big promotional display they had just erected (huh huh huh, erected, huh huh huh). Beside it stood about half a dozen important-looking men in suits. Walking by, I saw they wore name badges indicating they were from Frito-Lay, and that this big promotional, uh, whatever the hell it was carried a bunch of cardboard cutouts of that Chester the cheetah and other mascots of theirs. Cute.

And then a realization hit me.
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May 31, 2006

Lunch

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer,Foodz — Katrina @ 6:16 pm

You know what I had for lunch today? Nothing fancy. An “everything bagel” I’d bought at Panera yesterday morning along with an entire package of Oscar Mayer meats. It was one of those variety packs with three slices of white turkey, three slices of turkey ham (whatever the fuck that is!), three slices of bologna, and three slices of cotto salami. Yummy!
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May 23, 2006

This Is Why I Hate Tea

Filed under: Foodz,You Suck — Katrina @ 5:32 pm

That’s right, folks! Another herbal, piping hot session of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

Tea. That’s what sucks. Every once in a while, however, I tend to totally forget how much it sucks. Then I might make myself a cup, only to soon enough realize “Why the hell am I drinking this shit?” You know the trouble with tea? It tricks you. Just today at work, where we have this cool machine that you put these tiny packets into to make coffee and tea, I saw a little packet of Chai. I had never had Chai tea before, and people say how great it is, so I figured I’d give it a chance. After the machine did its thing, I took my cup back to my desk and waited a bit for it to cool down enough to drink, and I took a sip.
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April 20, 2006

You Can’t Tuna Casserole

Filed under: Foodz,Here's To You! — Katrina @ 5:29 pm

And now, for another swimmingly delicious, thunniform session of:

Here’s To You!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, tuna!”

For you see, tuna is some of the greatest food in the world. Some people think steak is so wonderful. Meh. Others have certain partiality to pork. Well, whatever. But what’s truly wonderful is tuna.

Put it in a casserole! Eat it out of the can! Make it into a salad. Have it in a sub. Slap a slab of it on the grill. Leave it raw and gulp down its divinity, for it is King of Sushi. Or at least I say it is. That’s all that matters.

Tuna is great. Tuna is delicious. Tuna is godly. Let’s all eat some tuna!

Oh, and anyone who doesn’t like tuna or any seafood can, of course, go screw themselves.

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