Sure, Why Not?

So this morning I was driving to work and a song came on the radio that I’d heard a few times. Thought it was a cute song, so when I got to work I went to the radio station’s website to check the list of recently played songs to see what the title and artist were. And for a moment there I felt I had to cleanse myself, repent, confess my sins, and go into shameful exile. For that cute song, I was horrified to discover, is sung by *gasp* Miley Cyrus!

Of course, that horrified dirty feeling lasted all of half a minute before I realized, well, so what? Sure, I, a 26-year-old, am “supposed” to hate everything about her, as well as the Jonas Brothers and Taylor Swift and whoever else. They, along with Twilight, are a favorite thing to mock by everyone from long-time comedians to the contributors at ROFLrazzi. It has long since gotten stale, though, save for ones that are actually cleverly done. But it doesn’t matter because they’re making fun of something everyone already hates so that right there is apparently what passes for comedy.
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Now for a monolingual, patriotic edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

What in the hell is with these people who always scream and cry that, oh noes, somebody who is currently in the United States is speaking in a language (gasp!) that is not English? How dare they! This is an English speaking country and must stay that way. And the very good reason for this is… we say so. Yee haw!

Sigh. Here we go again. A bunch of so-called proud Americans have sewn an infallible fabric based entirely on how they were raised by their ignorant families and have decided that and only that is the proper way for all Americans to live and think. The basis for this belief, of course, is just simply that’s how they specifically were raised, and it must have been important because their parents beat the shit out of them if they so much as uttered a word contrary to these beliefs, so all others must obey these rules as well because, shit, their parents couldn’t possibly be wrong, could they? (Another example of how youth rights is always somehow present in just about any situation.)

Of course, I’m speculating, but that’s all I have to go by since I just really don’t understand how anyone can feel so threatened by the presence of non-English speaking people. Perhaps just general fear of anything different from oneself or at least what one is used to, just like the people who fight tooth and nail to maintain Christianity’s dominance, in that it makes no sense in the grand scheme of things but they do it because it is what is familiar and comfortable to them and thus must be enforced. Or perhaps it’s also the irrational fear that if English is not the only acceptable language, then it will be phased out completely and they’ll be forced to speak something else. Which, of course, is pure paranoid bullshit.
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Prejudice is alive and well. It survives nicely through plenty of usually well-meaning people whose prejudicial biases fly under their own radar. Perhaps the most prevalent way that racism, sexism, homophobia, and other bigotries still exist is the extra scrutiny the marginalized group often gets, scrutiny that is forgotten for the same issue if someone of a privileged or majority demographic is involved.

We’ve all seen it. If a teen commits a horrible crime, then the question is not about that individual teen but a question and often assumption that this horrible behavior is common in teens. If the perpetrator were 35, that would not be an issue. The 35-year-old would rightly be treated as an individual, and other 35-year-olds would be spared having to carry that person’s guilt just because they were born the same year. Why? Because middle-aged adults are the standard and thus privileged age demographic while youth (and senior citizens for that matter) are marginalized and considered the “non-standard” group, the “other” group.
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Okay, so I was driving home from work today, and I’m behind some pickup truck, and even by pickup truck standards it looked rather rednecky, with pipes and shit in the back. After a bit I notice a printed sign is taped to the back window and when stopped at a stoplight I finally noticed what it said.

Don’t blame me. I voted for the AMERICAN.

Go ahead. Let that sink in for a moment.

I mean, for a minute I wasn’t even sure which candidate it was referring to, until the obvious factors of Obama having been the one who won and that this was, after all, a pickup truck, which I think is only sold to people who would fellate Ronald Reagan if given the opportunity. And it is probably asking too much of any conservative to recognize that Hawaii is part of the United States while Panama is not.

This has been Day 47 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 9.

And now for a curfew-destroying, voting age-lowering edition of…

Here’s to You!!!!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, NYRA of Southeast Florida!”

They’re a chapter so nice I’ve said “Here’s to you!” to them twice! You may recall the first was last September for their super awesome voting age ad that we had aired on Comedy Central in DC in October. Oh, I’m so happy to say that was only the beginning of their sheer untainted awesomeness.

Because just yesterday, NYRA-SEFL filed a lawsuit against the city of West Palm Beach to get their curfew law struck down. They tried reasoning with the city. They tried protesting. City still wanted to be ridiculous and ageist, so NYRA got litigious. So Jeffrey Nadel and company, with the help of attorney Barry Silver, have filed a lawsuit that the curfew violates a host of constitutional rights. They have videos. They have docs. They have Twitter. West Palm Beach, and all curfew cities for that matter, can consider itself owned.

Here’s the news article about it, too. Go vote Yes in the poll and leave supportive comments. Youth rights supporters shall not be silent!

This has been Day 32 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 9.

Proud of myself today. Commented on two blogs for youth rights, though as of right now, one of them is still in moderation. Lame. Is this how you guys feel when I ignore your comments? Haha.

Anyway, first I commented on the ACLU’s Blog of Rights, where they condemned sentencing juveniles to life without parole. Here’s my comment:

It is sick, especially when you consider how very few rights teens have. Everyone is always talking about how they can’t handle responsibility and that they shouldn’t be voting or driving or outside past a certain hour or whatever other unjust stereotype-based regulation, yet for some reason, if one were commit a heinous crime, then everyone suddenly thinks they’re fully developed and accountable and should get the harshest punishment. Can’t have it both ways, folks. Don’t treat them like kids and punish them like adults. As Dr. Mike Males said in on this subject in one of his books, we treat teens as kids when doing so is convenient for adults, and we treat them like adults when doing so is convenient for adults. Adult convenience and privilege should not be the basis for our justice system.

Awesome.

Then just a bit ago, NYRA-SEFL posted on Twitter an article about how Rochester, NY just got their youth curfew law struck down by the court. Score!

And here’s my comment:

For those who think a curfew is to protect young people from being victims of violence, I have a question. Why are you blaming the victim? If a young person is attacked at night, the REAL question should be “why are your streets so unsafe from violence?” not whether someone under a certain age is out past their bedtime! Arrest the CRIMINALS, not the potential victims! The worst thing you can tell a young victim of a violent crime is that it was her own fault because of her “improper” behavior, and that is exactly what curfews do. Glad to see this one gone and I hope Rochester keeps it gone. Hope all other curfews see an end sometime soon and people wise up and realize we have to treat young person with more respect and to come up with REAL, non-discriminatory ways to control crime.

Mmmm, yeah. (Despite them both containing typos I’m rather pissed about.)

Want to be awesome like me? Or at least as close as you, someone who isn’t me, can get to my astronomical levels of awesomeness? Then go leave a comment yourself! Only thing more annoying than a vocal youth rights opponent is a silent youth rights supporter.

And I totally got this in in time for this week’s Youth Blog Tuesday! Which is chock full of more blog entries you should totally comment on. Power to the Youth Rights Blogosphere!

This has been Day 17 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 9.

I hereby decree…

Stop using the phrase “Party like it’s 1999!”

Seriously. I mean, I could sort of see maybe back in the 1980’s and 90’s this might have been a sort of “ooh, in the future, in 1999, we’re going to party so hard because that’s the last one before the numbers change, lulz!” Very stupid, but I can at least kind of see it.

If you’ll take a moment, please consult your nearest calendar for the current year. Or just look at the date on top of this entry. What year is that? Wow, really? Is it really 2009?

Oh noes! You missed teh big party year! It’s been a full decade since then!

Or, maybe, you didn’t do anything special in 1999 but want to pretend you did or that 1999 will somehow come again so you’ll have another chance. Either way, using the phrase whether before or after that year makes you sound like an immense douchebag, albeit in different ways.

Though not as much as if said during 1999…

“Duuude, we’re going to party like it’s 1999!”
“Hey, look at the calendar, man. It IS 1999!”
“OMG, holy shit! I guess we’d better party then.”
“Cool, dude! Hey, got any weed?”
“Nah, man, got a new job, have to take a piss test.”
“Totally bogus! I’d be in all kinds of deep shit if I had to for my job.”
“Hey, it’s alright. Here, want some coffee?”
“Sure, thanks man! So what should we do now?”
“I don’t know. Find the guys and see what they’re up to.”
“Awesome! Tonight is going to kick ass. Hell yeah!”
“Duuude, we’re going to party like it’s 1999!”
“Hey, look at the calendar, man. It IS 1999!”

Yes, that is how you sound if you say this phrase. Seriously.

The mystery is gone, folks. We’re past 1999. The nineties have ended and we’re almost done with the aughts. If you’re planning on partying, just do it whenever since you’re just getting older and older and it’s incredibly wasteful and retarded to be earmarking an arbitrary year for “partying hard”. Just go ahead and guzzle that entire beer keg, blow up your liver in the process, die, and be out of our hair, kthx.

This has been Day 16 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 9.

Look at this game.

RapeLay

You saw that right. We’re talking about a real video game where the object of the game is to capture and rape girls. Think about that for a moment. I’m just speechless.

The game is sold in Japan (cue common vehement question “What the FUCK is wrong with Japan?!”) and trying to come to the United States. Of course, there’s a buttload of controversy over that.

But regardless of what happens involving whether the game is banned and where, there’s a bigger thing to wonder here, though I suppose the answer to that wonderment is the usual “humanity is just that fucked up”.
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I think I’ll join them in that…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Seriously, Jack Thompson, put a fucking sock in it already.

For anyone who needs the reminder, Jack Thompson is the disbarred (LOL) attorney who always has a bug up his ass about video games and anything else with content that he finds offensive. Not unlike the idiots in Wisconsin I talked about last week, he isn’t content just letting shit be and turning his attention to things that offend him less (as opposed to not offending him at all, in which case I’m not sure any such thing exists). No, no, he has to save the world from things that offend him. Is there a sizable number of people to whom these things are not offensive, perhaps enjoyable? Well, screw them, because it’s Jack’s feelings about it that matter, no one else’s.

If you need any more proof to his batshit insanity, even Utah is telling him to STFU. And because of that, he’s threatening to sue the State of Utah. Let’s see.
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For today we have gone an eighth round of summer fun and frustration, for today it is…

Scarce on the entries this time around. Lame. In any case, it hardly means it’s been uneventful. Quite the contrary. Remember last year when I was all amazed at how turbulent it was? Well, after rereading last year’s entry, honestly, I kind of want to smack myself for being a whiny loser. LOL. Then again, we’ll see how I’ll feel about this a year from today. Anyway, on with it!
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Alright, first of all, I know I’m seriously behind the times on this. I know I heard about it happening way back when but didn’t really think about what it meant until now. When it affects me. LOL

So a couple days ago, I came down with the telltale eustachian tube pain and runny nose. Crap. I’m getting a cold. Been 14 months since my last one, and both were the very strange summer colds. June and August are usually safe months, but nooo.

Fine, I got a cold. Okay. It’s not so bad. Not when I’ve got my trusty Tylenol Cold! I believe I’ve given a brief history of my colds and that medicine before. So I figured I’d dull the malady’s annoyances along with feeling really really good like Tylenol Cold does to me.
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No, that’s not a typo. Apparently that’s actually how his parents spelled his first name when naming him. They’re the ones who misspelled “Michael”, not me. Yes, it’s A before E, which you don’t see in the English language much (less so in the American version), which must have made them think the name Michael was misspelled in the Bible, despite it being Hebrew obviously.

But that’s well beside the point here. Who is this guy?
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Now for a gory yet clever edition of…

Here’s to You!!!!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, violent video game manufacturers!”

You people are so stupid. No, not the manufacturers. The general public. The manufacturers are quite intelligent. They see a mass of humans who will shriek at the mere idea of mixing kids and violence in any way (unless it’s violence perpetrated by the parents, in which case they’re all for it, but that’s another matter entirely). What does that usually mean? Lots of sensationalist news reports. So finally the video game makers thought to themselves “wouldn’t free advertising be awesome?”
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On the NYRA forums, some new person posted about a blog he saw some place that apparently lauded the idea of a “separate internet” just for kids. The idea being that the internet as we know it be kept an “adult only” territory while creating a super censored, “kid friendly” online zone just for those under 18.

Now, I was quick to tell this person that he needn’t worry since it was just a random blog entry some place, not even a high-profile blog or anything. If any random blog entry changed the world, goodness! Nonetheless, it got me thinking.
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There’s a belief that every little girl is a princess, or should at least be told she is. What does it mean to be a princess? Who knows? Adults think it’s an endearing thing to tell little girls and think it’s just adorable when they act upon it. How? They idolize Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Ariel, Jasmine, or whoever else, wear clothes with them on it, and dress up like them, for Halloween or otherwise. I myself was Snow White for Halloween at age five. But what did this princess ideal mean? Really, it comes down to the little girl being an object of affection, particularly from males, usually her father, but in the older form of the princess, this includes boys her own age perhaps, or at least the expectation of such. She was special, to be pampered and showered with gifts, and her only job was to sit there and look pretty and cute.
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1. Make students work like dogs
2. Make students work like dogs even more
3. Make students work like dogs still more
4. ????
5. PROFIT!!!!!

So when I was at work earlier, was after hours but a few of us still there, my coworker (he’s Chinese, which I mention because it’ll be relevant in a sec) got to chatting with me and other coworker (Indian) and talked about all the activities his kids usually do over the summers. Usually they were stuck into all kinds of summer camps and whatnot. Basically, their summers are just as if not more busy than the school year. Coworker went on talking happily about it, even saying that if they weren’t, they’d just be indoors sitting in front of the TV or a video game. He went on to mention that this year he might not do the summer camps but instead get them into some kind of tutoring for math and English. At this point, I asked how old his kids were, and he said they’re 9 and 11. I didn’t ask whether their grades were subpar or anything to have merited the tutoring, but from how the conversation continued, I figured otherwise. Tutoring was not for improvement of grades. It was to keep up studying momentum, to keep the flow of studying and homework going. Hell, not even to necessarily speed up the kids’ progress in the subjects. Just to keep them doing it in general.
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I hereby decree…

The live bar performer will play Margaritaville.

Without exception, without fail. Or no, very much with fail. This song is way overplayed. Some loser with a guitar who got fortunate enough for some Saturday night bar gig where he’ll spend the evening badly covering various popular songs will soon enough stumble upon this Jimmy Buffett ballad.

People eat it up, as they often do with the most tiresome, clichè acts. “ZOMG, awesome, he’s playing Margaritaville while we’re in a bar, he’s liek sooo kewl!”

What other gems shall we hear? “Closing Time” perhaps? Maybe even “Tub Thumpin’”. Or, perhaps not, those are too recent. Still bar songs. Even if played, not the least bit creative, but with Margaritaville, shit, song’s old so everybody knows it and you don’t piss off the older bar goers who want to pretend the year 1980 has not yet come.

All I wanted was to go to a restaurant on some evening, but in the restaurant’s bar they have some gay ass live band or whatever. Margaritaville will be played. That train is never late. I mean, the song stops being clever after the second or third time you hear it, if it ever was. Playing it over and over just speeds up the brain damage the bar people are already on the verge of with their copious alcohol consumption. Ugh.

(Speaking of retardedness, prepare yourself for like 500 comments all saying “ZOMG, finally, a new entry!”)

This has been Day 45 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 8.

So the other day, I got this strange call on my cell phone. Annoying recording. Voice came on saying something like “this message is to warn you that the warranty on your vehicle is about to expire” and went on to say to wait for a rep to come on and talk, blah blah. Hung up right away and didn’t give it another thought. Not sure how telemarketers got my number, but whatever. My car is several years away from warranty expiration.

The number is usually blocked, but this time it wasn’t. It was 818-870-8127.
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Gaaahhhh!

Let down again!

Damn you, Big Brown! Just like Smarty Jones and Funny Cide and Real Quiet and a lot of others who looked hopeful for the Triple Crown, pwned the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, only to descend into epic fail at the Belmont. Damn you to hell!

Been since 1978, when Affirmed won it, that there’s been no Triple Crown winner. A bunch who won two out of three, sure. No one did it all. What’s with you failtastic horses and trainers? So many years we watch the horse races and think we finally have a winner, only to have yet another year of epic lose.

Although, the 5.9 million dollars thrown away on win bets on Big Brown is lulzy. Lulzy until I remember all that lost money goes to the other NYRA.

Well, as has been said a lot now, maybe next year.

This has been Day 15 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 8.

Now, for a cultureless culinary edition of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

So I was glancing through some menus of local restaurants earlier today while I was at work, making myself hungry. Italian. Tex-Mex. Asian fusion. Good stuff. But there was one common little problem each of these menus had, a common little problem very common to menus.

It was, of course, the kids’ menu.
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