Sure, Why Not?

No, that’s not a typo. Apparently that’s actually how his parents spelled his first name when naming him. They’re the ones who misspelled “Michael”, not me. Yes, it’s A before E, which you don’t see in the English language much (less so in the American version), which must have made them think the name Michael was misspelled in the Bible, despite it being Hebrew obviously.

But that’s well beside the point here. Who is this guy?
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Now for a gory yet clever edition of…

Here’s to You!!!!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, violent video game manufacturers!”

You people are so stupid. No, not the manufacturers. The general public. The manufacturers are quite intelligent. They see a mass of humans who will shriek at the mere idea of mixing kids and violence in any way (unless it’s violence perpetrated by the parents, in which case they’re all for it, but that’s another matter entirely). What does that usually mean? Lots of sensationalist news reports. So finally the video game makers thought to themselves “wouldn’t free advertising be awesome?”
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On the NYRA forums, some new person posted about a blog he saw some place that apparently lauded the idea of a “separate internet” just for kids. The idea being that the internet as we know it be kept an “adult only” territory while creating a super censored, “kid friendly” online zone just for those under 18.

Now, I was quick to tell this person that he needn’t worry since it was just a random blog entry some place, not even a high-profile blog or anything. If any random blog entry changed the world, goodness! Nonetheless, it got me thinking.
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There’s a belief that every little girl is a princess, or should at least be told she is. What does it mean to be a princess? Who knows? Adults think it’s an endearing thing to tell little girls and think it’s just adorable when they act upon it. How? They idolize Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Ariel, Jasmine, or whoever else, wear clothes with them on it, and dress up like them, for Halloween or otherwise. I myself was Snow White for Halloween at age five. But what did this princess ideal mean? Really, it comes down to the little girl being an object of affection, particularly from males, usually her father, but in the older form of the princess, this includes boys her own age perhaps, or at least the expectation of such. She was special, to be pampered and showered with gifts, and her only job was to sit there and look pretty and cute.
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1. Make students work like dogs
2. Make students work like dogs even more
3. Make students work like dogs still more
4. ????
5. PROFIT!!!!!

So when I was at work earlier, was after hours but a few of us still there, my coworker (he’s Chinese, which I mention because it’ll be relevant in a sec) got to chatting with me and other coworker (Indian) and talked about all the activities his kids usually do over the summers. Usually they were stuck into all kinds of summer camps and whatnot. Basically, their summers are just as if not more busy than the school year. Coworker went on talking happily about it, even saying that if they weren’t, they’d just be indoors sitting in front of the TV or a video game. He went on to mention that this year he might not do the summer camps but instead get them into some kind of tutoring for math and English. At this point, I asked how old his kids were, and he said they’re 9 and 11. I didn’t ask whether their grades were subpar or anything to have merited the tutoring, but from how the conversation continued, I figured otherwise. Tutoring was not for improvement of grades. It was to keep up studying momentum, to keep the flow of studying and homework going. Hell, not even to necessarily speed up the kids’ progress in the subjects. Just to keep them doing it in general.
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I hereby decree…

The live bar performer will play Margaritaville.

Without exception, without fail. Or no, very much with fail. This song is way overplayed. Some loser with a guitar who got fortunate enough for some Saturday night bar gig where he’ll spend the evening badly covering various popular songs will soon enough stumble upon this Jimmy Buffett ballad.

People eat it up, as they often do with the most tiresome, clichè acts. “ZOMG, awesome, he’s playing Margaritaville while we’re in a bar, he’s liek sooo kewl!”

What other gems shall we hear? “Closing Time” perhaps? Maybe even “Tub Thumpin’”. Or, perhaps not, those are too recent. Still bar songs. Even if played, not the least bit creative, but with Margaritaville, shit, song’s old so everybody knows it and you don’t piss off the older bar goers who want to pretend the year 1980 has not yet come.

All I wanted was to go to a restaurant on some evening, but in the restaurant’s bar they have some gay ass live band or whatever. Margaritaville will be played. That train is never late. I mean, the song stops being clever after the second or third time you hear it, if it ever was. Playing it over and over just speeds up the brain damage the bar people are already on the verge of with their copious alcohol consumption. Ugh.

(Speaking of retardedness, prepare yourself for like 500 comments all saying “ZOMG, finally, a new entry!”)

This has been Day 45 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 8.

So the other day, I got this strange call on my cell phone. Annoying recording. Voice came on saying something like “this message is to warn you that the warranty on your vehicle is about to expire” and went on to say to wait for a rep to come on and talk, blah blah. Hung up right away and didn’t give it another thought. Not sure how telemarketers got my number, but whatever. My car is several years away from warranty expiration.

The number is usually blocked, but this time it wasn’t. It was 818-870-8127.
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Gaaahhhh!

Let down again!

Damn you, Big Brown! Just like Smarty Jones and Funny Cide and Real Quiet and a lot of others who looked hopeful for the Triple Crown, pwned the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, only to descend into epic fail at the Belmont. Damn you to hell!

Been since 1978, when Affirmed won it, that there’s been no Triple Crown winner. A bunch who won two out of three, sure. No one did it all. What’s with you failtastic horses and trainers? So many years we watch the horse races and think we finally have a winner, only to have yet another year of epic lose.

Although, the 5.9 million dollars thrown away on win bets on Big Brown is lulzy. Lulzy until I remember all that lost money goes to the other NYRA.

Well, as has been said a lot now, maybe next year.

This has been Day 15 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 8.

Now, for a cultureless culinary edition of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

So I was glancing through some menus of local restaurants earlier today while I was at work, making myself hungry. Italian. Tex-Mex. Asian fusion. Good stuff. But there was one common little problem each of these menus had, a common little problem very common to menus.

It was, of course, the kids’ menu.
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We’ve gone another round, right up until today, for today is…

As these 100 Days of Summer draw to a close, I marvel at what this seventh round has brought. This round was special, since 2007 days all land on the same days of the week as 2001 days, meaning all of these 100 days were the same days of the week as they were in the original. And I must say, with all that has happened since May 24, this one just about rivals the original in all that has gone on.
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I was on my way back from upstate New York earlier today and was riding through Harrisburg, PA. There I saw a big ass billboard. I was eating my lunch at the time, but seeing this made me lose my appetite quickly.

Report Underage Drinking!
1-800-UNDER-21

What?! Oh, yeah, I’m just going to rush right out and get some innocent 19 and 20-year-olds in trouble with the law because I feel like being a self-righteous cretin and utilizing a law created because a bunch of irrational mothers in the 1980’s sobbed in front of Congress enough about their dead children so now everyone 18-20, legal adults mind you, would be considered criminals for partaking in an activity that would be perfectly okay if they were only a couple years older.
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I had a thought. You know how in like elementary school, the kids are taught about good dental hygiene? Brush and floss twice a day like good little boys and girls, or else some cavity monsters will eat your teeth, and you’ll have no teeth anymore. And remember to go see your happy little dentist twice a year!

Eh, interesting curriculum. I have a better idea. Try this.

Kids, brush and floss regularly. Why? Because toothpaste and floss are relatively cheap. And if you don’t, you will get cavities and gingivitis, which requires special and very expensive dental checkups. Your parents may or may not have dental coverage on their health plan, if they even have a health plan at all. So when you’re in excruciating pain from cavities and you need to have the dentist fill it or yank the tooth, which will be more physical hardship for you, mommy and daddy will have to shell out thousands of dollars to even have it done, which will result in them going into serious debt, you will get nothing for Christmas or your birthday for the next five years, they won’t be able to make the mortgage or rent payments, so you’ll all have to move in with grandma and live in the same cramped room. Or even if you don’t need any serious dental work now, the bad dental habits now will cause lots of problems later when you’re an adult, and your mouth is in agonizing pain and you need a root canal, but you have no dental coverage and you can’t afford the procedure, so you’ll either go without it and be in misery for a long time while your teeth deteriorate more, making you need an even more expensive procedure, or you have it done immediately, but even then the cost is too much, making you unable to afford food or gasoline for the next year. You’ll then have to move back in with your parents, only to have them ride your ass for having not listened to them when you were a kid about proper dental hygiene.

So, yeah, clean your fucking teeth, kids!

This has been Day 90 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 7.

And now, for an automotive, shiny blue Korean version of…

Here’s To You!!!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, my wonderful awesome car!”

*looks back through entries*

Oh, goodness, what an oversight on my part! I’ve gone six months without ever once mentioning on here that an amazing thing has happened. I have a car! Seems weird saying now as if that’s new. I got it back on February 26. Been nearly six months. Oh, what an insane day that was, too. Surprising I never wrote about it here.
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So I was at work today and needed to scan like two hundred pages of some annoying document. Looking like an all-day job. Would have to scan each page individually.

So I went to the copier, with its paper feeder thing on top of it, and smacked it and said “You’re a scanner now, bitch!”

It replied, “Yes, ma’am! I am a scanner!”

So I used it to scan all those pages.

Win.

This has been Day 78 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 7.

Ugh. I do not feel good. Oh, well, better try to rebuild.

*looks around*

Okay, here’s the vena cava. Good. Now where’s the aorta? Ah, here it is!

*looks around some more*

Ooh, there’s the left ventricle. Eww, it’s dusty. *cleans it off* There. Right ventricle? Hmmm, where could it be?

*looks around*

Oh, good. It’s right here.

*looks around more, slowly finds rest of missing pieces*

That all of them? Sweet.

*puts pieces together with some CardioTape^TM*

There! Good as new!

*puts it back where it belongs*

And you wonder why I never let you out? That was totally not even close to worth it. Shame on you. Now stay put.

This has been Day 73 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 7.

Well, late last night actually.

Holy hell, what a good book! Been feeling pretty good about it all day.

And when it was announced before the book came out that two people die… who exactly was that referring to? Like twenty people die!

And one kinda sorta died. Hehehe. That was a serious WTF moment. As well as making me think “hey, she stole that from CS Lewis!”

Not sure how I felt about the epilogue, though. Seemed nice. Seemed to be overkill. Don’t know.

But… mmmmm…. good book.

My favorite lines?

“Wow! We’re identical!”

“NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!”

The thing with Dudley at the beginning was just adorable. Heh.

Except some of the little nuggets of info that had been promised were never mentioned. Or maybe I just need to find out what exactly some of it referred to.

But, yeah, yeah, goooood book. I approve.

This has been Day 61 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 7.

Wednesday night, Dad and I saw Order of the Phoenix at the movie theatre. Not bad.

Thursday was a disturbingly unproductive day at work. I hate it when that happens. And I hadn’t visited any of my message boards or been on IM since Tuesday. There is a very good reason for that. Many acted too early.
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Okay, I have to say something. It’s something I’ve been grappling with for several years now. It haunts me. It’s a flaw. But I’ve often wondered just why it is considered so wrong. So I’ve decided to come clean.

My name is Katrina. I am a stalker.

A stalker?! Oh noes!

It’s what I do. It’s a result of my shyness, my social anxiety. Talk to people directly? Eek, no! Maybe just wait near them for a while until I get up the gut. Might be a while.
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Realized something the other day. I live a very trapped life. Just don’t often notice since I rarely do anything that might press the limits. Part of still living with my family, I suppose. I’m living the life of a perpetual 14-year-old, but at least I’m saving up a lot from working.

At what cost, though? I didn’t always live like this. Back at Salisbury, wasn’t living with my family, so I could come and go whenever I wanted. Everything was by my own schedule, sort of. Well, the same is true now, to a point. I’m under no real obligation anyway.
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Nope, this isn’t a male-female thing. Not really anyway. Probably also noticed I categorized this under Youth Rights. Where could I be going with this? Just one of very many gripes I have on the subject of the objectification of children.

I also want to take this time to say that, considering the subject matter of this entry, if I catch any disgusting search phrases reaching this or any other page on this site that, well, let’s just say consider children in a less-than-innocent way, I’ll be publicly posting your IP address and any information a whois lookup of it will provide. You won’t find that crap here and any place you can find it can go to hell. Sick bastards.

Anyway, let’s move on. Objectification of children! What does that have to do with being naked? Oh, the examples are all over.
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