December 11, 2012

You’re a Douchebag

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Rants,Youth Rights — Katrina @ 8:52 pm

So let’s say you’re a parent of a – gasp! – teenager.

And this adolescent offspring of yours – gasp!- has opinions.

This fact somehow makes life just so awful for you. That who was once a helpless baby totally dependent on you is now behaving more independently of you. Probably even gets angry sometimes.

And you just get so frustrated. And you must vent to other parents of teens. And then come the gems. Whether it’s how lazy they are or how disobedient they are or the ever popular “they think they know everything!”


You’re a douchebag.

Okay, okay, parenting is hard. You want to share your frustrations with others who are likely going through the same or who have been at least sufficiently conditioned to sympathize with you.

Doesn’t matter. You’re a piece of shit.

You’re insulting not only your own children but other people who happen to be their same age. And why? So you can look “cool” in front of other adults. Oh, aren’t you so witty and clever? You’re taking shots at people over whom you have total legal and economic control. My, you’re so brave, you should get a medal!

And for that, you are a douchebag. Not enough people tell you this, but you need to hear it. That makes you a terrible person. Your “ugh! teenagers!” whining is significantly less mature than you insist these teenagers are. You completely disregard their personhood and basic right and need to be respected. You trivialize everything about them and make it all about you. Therefore, you are a piece of shit douchebag.

Have a nice day.


  1. “My, you’re so brave, you should get a medal!”
    Oh god, my sides! :snicker:
    Thanks, Kat this is great.

    Comment by wedway — January 29, 2013 @ 1:01 pm

  2. Let’s not forget the oh so epic gem of all of this… that hasn’t been mentioned. :whack:

    Dear Parents, lets not forget… that at one time, YOU TOO WERE A – OMGWTFBBQ – TEENAGER! Now, with this above topic… could you *EVER* imagine your own parents saying the exact same thing about you? Of course not, in your own mind you were perfect… well behaved, never disobeyed, could never be accused of being lazy.

    Lets also not forget, back when you were a teenager (Assuming you parents were born somewhere around the late 1960’s or early 1970’s), life was more simple than it is now, regardless of how easy you try to make things sound so in this decade… back then jobs were easier to come by, minimum wage was a lot lower than it is now… sure, you had to work harder if not longer to come by anything decent in life back then.

    Let’s compare things… shall we?

    ===Cost of Living 1986===
    How Much things cost in 1986

    Yearly Inflation Rate USA: 1.91%
    Year End Close Dow Jones Industrial Average: 1,895
    Interest Rates Year End Federal Reserve: 7.50%
    Average Cost of New House: $89,430
    Median Price Of An Existing Home: $80,300
    Average Income per year: $22,400.00
    Average Monthly Rent: $385.00
    Average Price For A New Car: $9,255.00
    1 gallon of gas: $0.89
    Casio Portable Color Television: $249.99
    Tandy 600 Portable Computer: $1599.00
    Bacon per pound: $1.75


    ===Cost of Living to date (October 27, 2013)===
    How Much things cost to date (October 27, 2013)

    Current Inflation Rate USA: ~1.5%
    Current Dow Jones Industrial Average: 15,570.28 +61.07 (0.39%)
    Interest Rates Fed. Reserve: 0.25%
    Average Cost Of New House: $272,900
    Median Price Of An Existing Home: $199,200.00 (September 2013)
    Average Income per year: ~$51,000.00
    Average Monthly Rent (1 Bedroom): $700-$912.50
    Average Price For A New Car: ~$20,000.00
    1 gallon of gas: ~$3.90
    Sony Bravia 42″ LED TV: $669.00
    Apple MacBook Pro with Retina Display – 13.3″ Display, 8GB Memory, 512GB Flash Storage: $1,799.99
    Bacon per pound: $4.48
    ‘Current’ Unemployment Rate: ~8.1%
    Real Unemployment/Underemployed Rate: ~14.3%

    In almost 40 years the cost of living has nearly doubled, tripled in some places… and yet while minimum wage has gone from $3.35 an hour in 1986 to $7.25 since 2009 just because more money is earned, doesn’t mean things are just as affordable as they were 20 some odd years ago.

    Comment by Sumire Kotani — October 27, 2013 @ 11:13 am

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