December 8, 2012

Candles

Filed under: Christmas Time!,WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 4:56 pm

Oh, would you look at that! It’s those silly December holidays again…

Chanukah: Ah, sundown at last! Time to light the menorah.

Christmas: Hiya, Chanukah!

Chanukah: Ugh. You again.

Christmas: Whatcha doin’?

Chanukah: What I always do on my first night. And each of the seven nights afterward. Lighting the menorah.

Christmas: Ooh, candles! Yay!

Chanukah: Um, yes, that’s right. Candles.

Christmas: I’ve got candles, too! Hang on. *rushes away* *about a minute passes* *rushes back with two long candles* Here they are. They’re red and green. My colors!

Chanukah: Uh huh. What are they for?

Christmas: These? Well, these candles seem like they’re for a dinner table. I’ve got more, though. Big fat ones that are red and glittery. Ones shaped like candy canes or reindeer. Little gingerbread-scented votives. Those old-timey ones that went on the trees before the electric lights were invented. And there’s of course those ones that go into those wreaths that Scandinavians like to wear on their heads for some reason.

Chanukah: All just meaningless decoration.

Christmas: Meaningless?! They’re fun and give light. I’m a Winter Solstice celebration, so Yule and all that other stuff had candles to light up the darkest days of the year.

Chanukah: But not part of the whole birth of Jesus thing. Because it’s not like you can include any Jews, right?

Christmas: Oh, don’t start with that! Jesus isn’t excluded. The midnight church services like to light candles while singing Silent Night. Jesus brought light, so to speak. It’s a metaphor, you see.

Chanukah: You’re really reaching, aren’t you! But you’ve accomplished your goal. Today is my day, and yet, though you are two and a half weeks away, you’ve made it all about you. Haven’t I made it abundantly clear I’m not merging into you?

Christmas: Loud and clear. You might even say… *lowers sunglasses* Midnight clear!

Chanukah: Get out of here!!! :doitnow:

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