December 21, 2011

Solstice of Lights

Filed under: Christmas Time!,WTF Did I Just Write? — Katrina @ 3:58 pm

Ah, winter has begun! And I think something else has, too.

Winter Solstice: Here I am! Alright, Northern Hemisphere, time for another winter!

Chanukah: Shalom!

Winter Solstice: Oh, hey, Chanukah! How’s it going?

Chanukah: It’s my first day!

Winter Solstice: Hey, seems we’re the same day this year!

Chanukah: Oy vey! Don’t let Christmas know that. I’ll never hear the end of it.

Christmas: Hear the end of what?

Chanukah: Ah, you again.

Christmas: Oh, wow! You start on the Winter Solstice this year? That’s awesome!

Chanukah: Actually, I started last night at sundown if we’re to be more specific.

Christmas: Close enough. This means that this year, just like me and my traditions, you too are a Winter Solstice celebration.

Chanukah: Oy. Here we go again. I have nothing to do with the solstice. The dates are a coincidence. I’m about a temple rededication after one of very very very many times the Jews were attacked.

Christmas: Hey, you know what would make an awesome menorah decoration?

Chanukah: Menorahs don’t need decoration.

Christmas: A holly sprig! Right at the base of it.

Chanukah: Why?

Winter Solstice: Holly is evergreen and symbolizes everlasting life. For you, it could mean the resilience of the Jews all through history maybe.

Chanukah: But that’s a Celtic thing, that Christians later also made about Jesus because they’re so insecure they have to make everything about Jesus. I don’t need that. Our own traditions and symbols are plenty interesting on their own.

Winter Solstice: Maybe instead of candle oil you guys should try my Yule log. That lasts weeks!

Christmas: How about a Star of David atop the tree?

Chanukah: Fuck this shit, I’m going to make some latkes.

Christmas: Don’t forget to leave some out for Santa!

Chanukah:

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