February 14, 2011

Mmmm, Candy Hearts 6

Filed under: Foodz,What the hell? — Katrina @ 7:28 pm

*munches candy hearts*

What are they saying? “YOU RULE”. Yes, yes, I know. “HELLO”. Well, hello yourself, little candy heart! “MY CUTIE”. Why, thank you! “SEE YA”. Bye! “GET REAL”. Well, fine, be that way!

Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes, the sixth installment of Mmmm, Candy Hearts, the Sure, Why Not? Valentine’s Day tradition! Where I remark about how people who are in relationships or are dying to be in relationships just utterly fail hard. I don’t claim to be an expert, not that anyone can really make that claim, but sometimes watching the way people handle this hot potato known as love is just intriguing.

One thing I’ve learned about love though is that you cannot force it. It will run its course on its own. There’s lots of stories of unrequited love, all with the basic depressing rule that, well, you cannot force someone to love you. Sometimes people will tell you otherwise. Lord knows everyone has their little advice for winning someone’s heart. Like there’s some grand gesture to make your love object go from “eww, go away” to “OMG, let’s get married!” Uhh, no. You can’t flip a switch to make someone love you. True, there are ways to reduce turn-offs to maybe make it easier for said person to love you, but that would only better allow it to happen; it won’t make it happen. And your love object can’t make it happen either. Love is involuntary. We can’t help it. So often we might meet someone who might seem the perfect match in every way, but there for whatever reason just isn’t any love there. And it sucks. And there isn’t anything you can really do about it. Maybe give it some time to see if it ends up developing, and it sometimes does, but if it’s not there, it’s not there, and does no one any good pretending otherwise.

All that said, though, the opposite is also true. You can’t make someone love you. You also can’t make someone not love you. There’s that awkwardness when someone for whom you simply have no love seems to really love you! What do you do? Does this knowledge bother you? Think this person is insane now? Goodness, this person shouldn’t love you when it’s not mutual! You must do something about it! So you perhaps start avoiding this person. Being intentionally cold. Talking more than usual about a past, present, or prospective significant other. Because if this person realizes what an ass you are, maybe they’ll stop loving you and go elsewhere. Maybe you’ll constantly try to hook that person up with others. Whatever it takes to turn that love for you off!

Except absolutely none of that will work, and being nasty to that person is not only such an obvious ploy to turn them away but it just hurts them. Because they still love you and there’s nothing you can do to change that, yet now all that’s different is knowing they are hopelessly in love with a jerk. Who is such a jerk that they’d rather hurt someone who loves them than just deal with the awkwardness a little longer. And, of course, the one who loves you can’t just turn it off like a light switch, no matter how much they may wish they could. Love comes and goes as it pleases. You’ll try to control it, whether your own or someone else’s, and it’ll just tell you to fuck off.

So what do you do? Nothing! Just stay the course as you were before this came up. Outside of making feelings or lack thereof clear, absolutely no action is required. Don’t lead on. Don’t be intentionally standoffish. Just pretend it did not happen. Yeah, things might be awkward, even if the subject is never brought up again, but just deal with it. Of course, this is assuming that the loving one is in fact dropping the subject and isn’t being harassing. That, of course, is where further action could be warranted. And certainly the non-loving one might end up construing everything the loving one does or says to have to do with it. Which is fucking stupid. Unless you have any real reason to believe that person is dangerous, you don’t have a thing to worry about. Don’t be an ass.

*munches more candy hearts*

And I think they’re quite tasty.

Why, yes, I do also like candy corn. Why do you ask? :cute:

*eats more candy hearts*

“GOT LOVE?” Well, I suppose it’s still less disgusting than milk. “FIRST KISS”. *smooch* “MAD 4 U”. See, candy hearts always love you!

“NO WAY!” Okay, maybe not.

1 Comment

  1. Hehe, both of the people you talked about apply to me. I like this rant. 😀 and No! Don’t be sad. Lots of people read your stuff even though there are no comments. 🙂

    Comment by Lilly — February 15, 2011 @ 8:20 pm

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