November 23, 2010

Aladdin and Two Genies

Filed under: Idiot Box,Think About It! — Katrina @ 10:35 pm

So I just finished watching Aladdin on ABC Family. Love that movie! Even taking into account I’m partial to Disney movies in general, it’s awesome. Hard to believe it’s been eighteen whole years since it came out, and I still have most of the songs memorized. And I recall how, back in like 1992, we were all amazed at the wonderful graphics that went into the Cave of Wonders tiger entrance.

But, as often happens when you see a movie you’ve seen many times over many years, you start noticing things. You start to question why certain things happened one way when some other way would have made more sense. Or some other way would have solved or sidestepped a plot relevant problem entirely. Lord knows Cracked has any number of lists along those lines!

What I’m thinking of now is at the very end of the movie. I’m not giving a spoiler alert because, well, I’m not sure there’s anyone who hasn’t seen Aladdin, and even less likely anyone would, well, care about a spoiler to a damn Disney movie. They’re cartoonish fun, not murder mysteries.

Aladdin tricks Jafar into making his third wish, to become an all-powerful genie. So Genie does it and Jafar is all happy and powerful at first, only to get sucked into his newly materialized black lamp. In his itty bitty living space. Then Genie flicks the lamp off into the distance to the Cave of Wonders.

Only for the next issue to be Aladdin realizing he has only the one wish left, and he wants to set Genie free but also wants to make himself a prince again. This would be his third wish, after becoming a prince the first time and being saved from drowning. Yeah.

So, backtracking a bit… didn’t they JUST have another damn lamp with them? If Jafar was a genie now, and has to grant wishes (as he does for that dude in the sequel), couldn’t Aladdin have hung on to him and gotten some more wishes?

And, after the trouble they went through, perhaps just rub Jafar’s lamp for the hell of it and wish very random shit, whatever humiliates him. Then when Aladdin has used up his three, hand it to Jasmine for her to do the same, then to the sultan, then to whoever else. They could seriously have made Jafar pay more.

True, in the sequel, that guy who does get Jafar’s lamp wishes for stuff but Jafar mostly ignores him so he can exact his revenge, but if Aladdin is his master, not much he can do.

Or, of course, Aladdin could use one of those three extra wishes from this second damn genie to become that prince and still use his third remaining from the other to free the good Genie. But where’s the fun in that? Or that lovely little moral that you should totally be truthful because, let’s face it, you suck at lying even when a goddamn genie is helping you?

Instead, make genie Jafar dig up his own mother’s corpse and do nasty things to her. Maybe use her as a puppet or a Halloween decoration. For morbid amusement.

Or, hell, none of Genie’s three limitations on wishes seem to cover wishing for the genie to be your personal whore. The “can’t make anyone fall in love with you” thing perhaps would not cover that. So wish for genie Jafar to get on his knees and, ummm, service the sultan. Wishing for a genie to get you off isn’t rape, right?

Doesn’t even need to be that graphic. Maybe just wish for Jafar to be a trash can. Or a toilet. Or the wishes could be random but humiliating oddjobs like declogging a toilet or picking up dog crap or painting a fence. Send him into the marketplace to steal something and get his arms chopped off. Make him redo the Prince Ali Ababwa song, for Aladdin. Just to piss him off.

Or, if all that isn’t enough… wish for more genies! :cute:

In any case, they threw away some major opportunity there! 😆

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