Fully Developed Brain
That’s right, everyone. Today is my 25th birthday, and you know what that means.
It means that at last my brain is fully developed. You’ve got these public interest groups and all saying that studies show that your brain is immature and underdeveloped until you turn 25. That before then you are incapable of making any sound judgments. Well, I always called bullshit before, but now that I actually am 25, maybe my outlook might be a bit different.
Yes, yes, it’s true. I do feel more lucid, more logical. I feel like I truly understand the world now, and I realize that anyone born after this day in 1983 can’t possibly be so rational. It can’t be explained, as you can’t possibly understand until you turn 25. You’ll just have to take my word for it.
Because if you are not yet my age, you shouldn’t drink a drop of alcohol because it will give you cerebral palsy. And don’t think about driving because it gives you Down’s Syndrome. Also, sex before age 25 will definitely make you autistic.
Of course, why am I retyping this whole thing? I’ve already written all about my new outlook on life. Read it here.
Now I hope you understand, or however much your underdeveloped brain possibly can.
Just wait. AFTER 25, your brain starts going downhill. And you’ve got WAY more than 25 years for it to decline
Comment by Lord Galen — May 6, 2008 @ 10:54 pm
Bel-Aired and Rick Rolled. Fucking epic.
Comment by Adamantaimai — May 7, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
When were you Bel-Aired?
Comment by Junulo — May 8, 2008 @ 5:18 am
“Also, sex before age 25 will definitely make you autistic.”
Great! Maybe now 90% of the population can stop focusing on bullshit like small talk and flirting. And in a fun way too!
Comment by mackadal — May 9, 2008 @ 9:39 pm
Actually, over 90% of the population have surrendered themselves to the sins of fornication.
The better for me!
Comment by Agnapostate — May 10, 2008 @ 12:37 pm
So people under 25 with:
Cerebral palsy can drink
Down’s syndrome can drive
Autism can fuck
Right?
Comment by maxh — June 6, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
Asperger’s is still considered part of the autism spectrum, correct? Woot!
Comment by Harpy — June 15, 2008 @ 3:52 pm
Yes, harpy. But Kat hasn’t confirmed that there isn’t some other unspecified problem.
Comment by maxh — June 16, 2008 @ 9:46 pm
It’s true. I feel a lot more intelligent now that I’m 25 than I did before I turned 25.
… Of course, the fact that I used my brain and learned some useful things had absolutely nothing to do with it! It was all due to natural brain development, of course.
Comment by SoulRiser — July 21, 2008 @ 4:56 pm