Sure, Why Not?

And now, for a godless, faithless version of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

I’m surprised I haven’t said more about this yet. Well, here it is. I’ve said my bit about far right religious whackos, but it’s time to blast the other end of the spectrum. I’m talking, of course, about militant atheists.

Yeah, I’m a Christian, and I catch a lot of shit for it now and then. What people fail to realize is that not all Christians are alike. Far from it! Therefore, much of what I believe does not adhere to what Christians stereotypically all believe. What they also fail to realize is that I don’t try to push my beliefs on people (granted, I used to, but stopped). I consider myself a Christian and may discuss briefly what some of my beliefs are, but I really don’t give a crap what your religion is.
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I don’t feel like listing them here, but a few news articles have come out involving attaching tracking devices to kids. One such story is in Australia, where a jacket company is putting GPS trackers in their kids’ jackets. Another was an experiment in England where some students agreed to wear a tracking device for teachers to use to know where students are during school hours.

What the hell? I mean, if safety is such a concern here, why is this only being done to kids? Why not install everyone with things like this, regardless of age? Then the police can watch everybody and always know where people are. Sure, an invasion of privacy, but you need it in case someone goes missing and needs to be found, right?

Oh, wait, I forgot. No adult would agree to that. They like their privacy. They’ll then start bitching that they don’t want their countries to become such police states. These devices would be an affront to their freedom. They’d be an inconvenience. They don’t want to have to worry about it.

Tell them only kids are subjected to it.

Oh, okay then.

So, yeah, a police state is bad. A 1984-esque world is bad. Invasions of privacy are bad. Sacrificing freedom for a little security is bad.

Only for those “die-hard” beliefs to be thrown away once kids are involved, right? Sell out.

And that’s why it’s awesome.

Candy and costumes. Good fun!

Of course, you get these religious retards who scream and cry that Halloween is evil and is a Satanic celebration.

Oh, yeah? So let me get this straight. Halloween is about pretending to be scary monsters such as ghosts, witches, or Bill O’Reilly. Not being scared of these monsters that want to rip out your soul and eat it. Not trembling in fear of these demons that want you to lie, cheat, steal, and shop at Wal-Mart. To put on costumes pretending to be them and eats lots of candy. This is a recipe for having a good time.

So, basically, the epitome of making fun of all that is evil, trivializing it, doing the exact opposite of falling prey to it, somehow constitutes a Satanic celebration?

Well, maybe I just don’t understand these things as well as they do then. That’s what they’d tell me at least.

Now, for a technological, pixelated edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

These morons who just go on and on about how “dangerous” the internet is for kids. I swear, if I see one more talkshow host or whoever else say something like “get the computers out of kids’ rooms, it’s as if you’re leaving them alone with a stranger!” I’m going to scream.

No it is not, you idiots! A computer, even with internet connection, cannot grab your kid, jump out the window, and take him to a dark alley somewhere to do awful things to him. What the hell is wrong with you?
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I was thinking about the general power that parents have over their offspring. Not just as children, but continuing through their lives. After perpetually training them as children to obey them, that their word is final, that they must never go against their parents’ wishes, the message sticks. Sadly.

I listened to my mother if I felt like it. Naturally, it led to a lot of family issues. She’d ask me to do something. I’d do it if I felt like it, which I did sometimes. I only did stuff if I saw some actual point to it. Like putting dishes away. Hated it, but knew it had to be done, so I did it (eventually). Mom didn’t like my attitude, of course, but screw her. I really didn’t give a crap what she thought. Or, well, I did to a point, but after a while, I realized more and more she was in no place to be telling me what I should be doing when she could barely make decisions for herself.
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You know, I’ve lived in the DC area my whole life, and one thing I’m utterly ashamed of about Washington DC is that the city has a youth curfew. Curfews mean the city is unsafe. Curfews also make the city unsafe.

The law in DC is that no one under the age of 17 is allowed outside after 11pm. The city officials made this law believing that this would convince city residents they are doing something about crime. How exactly is scapegoating a group of innocent people going to stop crime? You’re just blaming it on people that everybody already hates.
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And now, for a presidential edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

You idiots who say that Ronald Reagan had to have been Satan because his first, middle, and last name all have six letters, thus making him “666″ somehow. Ronald Wilson Reagan. Yeah, each has six letters. So what?

It’s one thing to joke about it. It’s another that there’s people out there who actually believe that! Here’s some other names. I just made these up, but they very well could be names of people.

Thomas Albert Miller
Denise Sharon Watson
Evelyn Jeanne Madden
Justin Arnold McLeod
Gloria Alexis Tanaka
Joseph Edmund Valdez

There. Six random names. Names anyone could very well have. In each case, the first, middle, and last names all have six letters. So would that mean that any newborn baby given any of these names or any other possible 666 name would have to be Satan?

I mean, shit, can’t you just drop the superstitious 666 nonsense and just call Ronald Reagan a douchebag and be done with it?

Came across yet another list of things girls are apparently supposed to like in a guy. For those who enjoyed the last one, here’s another.
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Just one question for her. Who the hell does she think she is?

I’m talking to her. I’m talking to Tipper Gore. I’m talking to Elizabeth Dole. I’m talking to the rest of their ilk.

Women in power, awesome. But these women in power? Fail. Women like them make all women look bad.

What the hell is your big problem with youth culture? Or youth in general? It seems every time you open your mouth, it’s to decry the “horrors” of video games or music or the inevitable irresponsibility of young people. Even your daughter called you out on that crap!
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Is there some rule that every single movie must advertise using the prelude of Bizet’s Carmen? Oh, yes, makes the movie sound all adventurous and crazy. Fail.

Click that link and scroll way down to know which music I’m talking about. It’s also the music used in Tetris when you’ve gotten a high enough score to get that scene with the Kremlin where it’s launching stuff up to the sky.

It’s also my ring tone. Hehehe.

I hereby decree…

MOAR FIVE ALIVE IN TEH USA, PLZ THX!!!

Um, wow. Chatspeak attack. Let’s try that one again.

Five Alive should be sold more in the USA!

What’s Five Alive? It’s a kind of juice, under the Coca-Cola umbrella. It’s delicious. It used to be around a lot in the United States back when I was little. In concentrate form, anyway. I liked it. Then didn’t have it any more for a while. Stopped selling it I guess.
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And now, for an overhyped, scandalous edition of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

This time? It’s these people who actually follow celebrity news. People who actually care what’s going on in celebrity lives. They read every magazine about the sordid affairs, watch every gossip show, and chat about it with their vacuous friends as if Angelina Jolie looking pregnant had any relevance to the world.
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