Sure, Why Not?

Alright, I think I’ve made myself clear on my feelings about Mother’s Day last year. Basically, any of you who are taking your mother out to lunch or buying her some super expensive piece of jewelry or so much as talking to her today are a bunch of thumb-sucking idiots. The umbilical cord was cut a long time ago, and she treated you like shit ever since then. Don’t deny it.

Okay, maybe your own mother was decent. Fine. Still, though, this observed holiday specially for mothers is not only pointless but wreaks of anti-youth sentiment. Same with Father’s Day, of course. They center around the assumption that, as children, you’ve done nothing but treat your parents like shit all your life and that they’ve never done anything to deserve. Yeah, with the sickeningly high rates of child abuse perpetuated by the victim’s own parents, I’m just not buying that.

Maybe you whiny parents could celebrate Children’s Day. It would balance all this out nicely. It’s more frivolous holidays, sure, but takes the anti-youth crap out of it a little. Maybe come down off your parental cross for a moment and realize that your children have done a lot of nice shit for you!

Of course, while I really don’t want to just praise all mothers outright for reasons I’ve stated repeatedly, there is one group of them that society abhors, and I just don’t think it is right. Just as bad as automatically assuming all mothers are great without checking individual merit, it is just as bad to assume all mothers of an arbitrary group of them are not only bad but are an ill of society.

I’m talking, of course, about teenage mothers. You see, this is where society gets confused. All like “they’re mothers, but they’re children!” Then heads explode when they cannot compute that. They can’t seem to reconcile that line of reasoning, so they just drop the motherhood part entirely, and refer to a teen’s pregnancy not as beautiful pending motherhood but as a sexual transmitted disease, as her baby not being a beautiful new addition to the family but a societal problem.

But I’ll bet the mothers of those pregnant young girls are being praised like hell today. Oh, noes, she must be so strong to be handling her problematic daughter. Yeah, she’s handling her straight out the door, calling her a whore and telling her to go help herself and baby on her own. Great.

Or if the grandmother-to-be actually is being decent and helping her daughter out with the tough situation, she gets praise for that. Well, good. Just one question. Where the hell is the praise for the pregnant girl herself?!

Teen pregnancy is only considered a problem because of the age of the mothers. But what people don’t seem to get is that in spite of them not having completed 11th grade yet, they are STILL mothers! That 16-year-old girl getting up at all hours of the night to tend to the little one, living in the guilt that her parents are impressing on her for having not abstained or used proper contraception and that they now have to have this happening in their house, dealing with the baby’s father in some way or another and with his family, as well as trying to get through school amid her other responsibilities. Not to mention being ostracized as the slutty bitch who got knocked up. She’s a new mother, which in and of itself is extremely difficult, and she’s got all this other shit to deal with from people. And all anyone knows how to do is call her a wrinkle on society’s ass.

There’s another beef I have with Mother’s Day. Only certain mothers are allowed praise. Somehow the 30-year-old new mom who is living comfortably and has the support of her whole family is praised more than the 16-year-old who is hated by her family and friends for her situation and is refused help. THAT is not right!

Alright, I’m sure some of you may have picked up a bit of hypocricy on my part, how I admitted that mothers have a hard-ass job, yet at the same time I deny them Mother’s Day ass-kissing. Of course. If you really want to make a mom feel good, help her out when things are difficult. A brunch and a stupid little card on a May Sunday don’t exactly do that. And, no matter how much hardship the mother faced, if she’s been a bitch to her children their whole lives, she doesn’t deserve shit.

In fact, I can think of only one mother in the history of the world who has been very good and loving and suffered greatly. Her son loved her, and she had to go through the torture of seeing Him executed. She even had to give birth to Him in a barn under some bright star. And she was only about twelve at the time.