Sure, Why Not?

And now, for a racial, sexual, gay session of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

I’m so SICK of these guys who bitch and bitch that they are oppressed because they are straight, white, and male.

“Oh, no! Affirmative action is giving jobs to unqualified minorities! They’re discriminating against me!”

First off, idiots who spout that clearly don’t know what affirmative action is. If it’s a choice between a well qualified white guy and a random, very unqualified black girl, employer will still pick the qualified white guy (unless the employer is an idiot). No, affirmative action is a TIE BREAKER, asstard! If the situation were the qualified white guy and an equally qualified black girl, AA would dictate to take the black girl for the racial quota. That’s where it’s supposed to occur.

Granted, I’m not defending affirmative action. I think it’s fighting racism with still more racism. But its flaws are NOT a ticket for some assholes with major persecution complex to act like their lives are being ruined or made miserable. Yeah, some employers are probably being dicks about it. People are dicks. But, guess what, not all employers are like that, jackass!

Yes, I get it. Pity for ethnic and racial groups is very unevenly distributed. It sucks. Can we move on?

With that out of the way, think you closet racist assholes can put a sock in it already? Nobody is oppressing you for being male! Nobody is oppressing you for being white! Nobody is oppressing you for being straight! So cram it.

Last I checked, straight guys aren’t being beaten to death just for being straight. Whites aren’t being denied admission to certain schools, churches, theatres, bus seats, and any number of other places just because of their skin color (nor are the extremely few who do that doing so legally). Straight white guys still have the right to vote, drive, drink, enter any public establishment, run for office, start a business, own property, and, oh, everything else they’ve always been able to do! So, yeah, seriously, WTF are you complaining about?

“Oh, no, how come it’s bad for me to make a joke about women but women can make jokes about men?”

“How come there’s Black Entertainment Television but not White Entertainment Television?”

“How come there can be gay bars but no straight bars?”

“How come black guys can call each other ‘nigger’ but they scream if I say that word?”

All rather cute little concerns. All incredibly retarded.

First off, of course you can still make a joke about women. Who the hell said you couldn’t? Some thing are still a matter of playing to your audience. If a legal free speech situation comes out of it, treat it for what it is: a free speech issue. Leave the gender crap out of it.

Second, about the black television thing and the women’s networks and whatnot. For one, there is a channel that advertises itself as being for men. Ever heard of Spike TV? About the black thing, it’s an empowerment thing. While legal and public racism is pretty much taken care of, there’s still a quieter social aspect that takes longer to dissolve. In the case of channels, they’ve chosen to have this one channel focus on programs starring black people, just as Comedy Central focuses on comedy and Cartoon Network focuses on cartoons. A network focused on shows featuring white people? Well, what’s stopping them? It’s not illegal. Oh, yes. Social pressure. They’d get pegged as racist for it, as well as perhaps only attracting racist types. A social flaw, yes, but the more immediate reason for not having such a channel is poor image and thus few sponsors.

Third, the thing with the gay bars versus straight bars. Comes from the stigmatization of homosexuality. Gay bar is merely a bar that publicly makes gay people welcome. Not like straight people aren’t allowed in or anything. In this case, there’s really no such thing as a gay bar or a straight bar. They’re all just fucking bars!

Fourth, the infamous N word. “Nigger” is a not nice word. Don’t go saying it to someone and acting all surprised at the appalled reactions. Yes, the word has a very negative meaning. You speak English apparently. Expect that. Don’t go saying “watermelon” when you mean “chair”. As George Carlin said, “Pay attention to the language we’ve all agreed on.” So, yeah, it’s a racial slur. Racial slurs are bad. Get over it. As for the difference between a white person saying it and a black person saying it, it is a little silly, yes. However, you’re also blaming an entire race for the quirk of a group of them, which is stupid. Not all black people call each other “nigger”. Sure, one might say “Hey, nigger, what’s up?” but so what? The same guy might also now and then say “Hey, motherfucker, what’s up?” and I think we all know “motherfucker” isn’t a nice word! So, no matter who says it, it’s still not a nice word, moron!

In any case, your pussy-ass “I’m white, male, and straight, I’m oppressed, nobody likes me!” bullshit is retarded and only makes a social issue worse, one that is barely even worth worrying about to begin with. You’re not fucking oppressed, assjockey. Being socially unacceptable to make unfriendly comments about some people isn’t oppression. Deal with it.

And don’t give me that crap about how people assume you automatically must be racist or sexist or homophobic just because you’re white, male, and straight. Same deal as the other shit. You’re a pussy. Screw off.