Sure, Why Not?

Being put on hold has its perks. Assload of annoyances, but yes, perks as well.

My main task at work is ordering lab supplies. I call up the nice vendor and read off a bunch of catalog numbers my coworkers gave me.

One of my favorite vendors to call is Fisher Scientific. I call them at least once a week for something or other. Usually along the lines of “where the hell is my damn order, bitches?!”
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And now, for a musically stifling session of…

YOU SUCK!

Here’s yet another pack of society’s dregs. People who, for whatever dumbass reason, will strictly limit themselves to liking or even listening to a specific kind of music. There’s a bunch of these for every imaginable genre. They only listen to Baroque period classical. Maybe they refuse to listen to anything other than Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby. For some, if it was made before 1997, it sucked. There are others who will only listen to The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, and Eric Clapton. Perhaps some denounce anything that isn’t 1980’s techno.

Whatever. You get the point (if your IQ is at least in the double digits, which is doubtful).
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Okay, I’ve bitched to an extent about fundamentalists ruining my religion. No denying that. But there’s a difference. I’ve made a few general statements on the subject. That’s one thing. What I don’t do sit around whining about every little thing a few midwestern nutjobs have thought and considered doing.
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Ha! I’ll bet you’re thinking I’m about to blast immigrants, right? WRONG! This has nothing to do with immigrants. Nope. It involves the mouth-breathing asswads spawned right here in the US of A, especially ones who by some means or another found their way to a computer with an internet connection.

u no wat i meen dey tawk lyk dis dey don no engilhs n don no hwo 2 tipe so dey tipe lyk dis i don no mabe des ratadid
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I can’t stress that enough. Pizza is damn good stuff. Guys love pizza. We all know that. But girls love the stuff, too.

Now I realize that must come as a surprise to you. Your mother told you pizza was junk food. You never see women eating pizza in commercials. Always guys. Chicks prefer the femininity of a chicken caesar salad. You know that.

Yet here I come with this earth shattering revelation. Girls love pizza. Girls are supposed to scorn guys for pizza? No. Girls love pizza. It is the truth. Why, I myself am a girl who loves pizza! I’m far from alone.
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Alright, now for another session of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Could someone please tell me something? This is pissing me off.

It never fails. Any time you hear about a child actor, a child athlete, or any other child who is involved in something professional, you get the same old crap.

“Why does he want to be in that movie? He should be enjoying his childhood!”

“She shouldn’t be a golfer. She’s still a child.”
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http://cowboys.justgotowned.com

Dallas 19
Washington 22

Final.

Hell YEAH!!!!

Dude, not just any ownage. We were tied. Dallas was about to kick a field goal at the end to win it. And what happened? Redskins blocked that fucker, and ran it back! Didn’t make it to the end, but one of the Cowboys grabbed a face mask, so it was a 15 yard penalty. Put us within a possible field goal range. No time left on the clock. 4th quarter. Nick Novak kicks it from 47 yards out…

He made it!!!! Redskins win!!!!

Just goes to show. Washington rules. Dallas sucks.