July 6, 2006

A Three-Dimensional Irritant

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer,Random Crap — Katrina @ 8:44 pm

Hi, there! Remember me? Hehehe. Yeah, I know it’s been 11 days since the last entry. My Internet was out most of that time because of all these storms we had around here a week and a half ago. Finally got it back, so you’ve got to put up with me bitching out of my ass some more. Hahaha.

But my absence from the net brings me to what I’m talking about now. Since being online wasn’t an option, I had to entertain myself in other ways. Well, one other way. My relatively neglected PlayStation 2. Since bullying, er, I mean, moderating the NYRA forums was out, this was now how I had to slightly slow my normally lightning-speed descent into insanity. Yes, I’m already insane, but I could be way, way more insane! Think about it!

My absolute favorite kind of video game is the platform game. Like Mario Bros., Sonic the Hedgehog, Megaman, Bubsy, Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, etc. Other genres interest me sometimes. RPGs are fine in small doses. I am NOT interested in sports or racing games, with the very notable exception of Ridge Racer (which I kick fucking ASS at!). Combat games? Fun at first but I get bored quickly. Shooters? Snooze. Puzzle? Depends on lots of stuff. These days, I might just find the same basic game for free online somewhere. Not worth the thirty bucks to buy it for my console. Strategy? You know, haven’t actually delved much into that one. Some other time.

Anyway, I had already had a bit of a Crash Crash a couple months ago. Hehe. That is, I played through the first three Crash Bandicoot games from my PS1 stash and then for the first time started on the fourth Crash game, one made for PS2. Graphics were nicer, I’ll give it that. Good game. Just one problem. There are just so many places where you can’t tell if something is a hole to fall into and die or a dark part of the floor. You’d be walking along on a floor that all looks the same color and no visual difference until you walk onto a part where you fall into some dark water or a black hole or whatever. What the hell? Such beautiful graphics but you can’t even make a simple distinction like that? Come on.

But this was a couple months ago, not my short absence. During this downtime, I was playing Rayman. Fun game, but without a doubt the cheesiest fucking game there is. I mean, you beat a boss, and the boss is like lying on the ground defeated, while Rayman is dancing around in celebration, and then the boss gets up and starts dancing next to him. Oh, and Rayman and all the other characters in the game do not have any arms, legs, or necks. Their heads, hands, and torso just sort of float there over a pair of feet. Did I mention that everything has eyes and is smiling? Even stuff that can kill you? Sometimes pairs of eyes shoot lightning at you. Most of the game is in these bright pastels with very cheery or peaceful music playing. You know, amid the possibility of being killed by gigantic sharpened pencils or mean-looking musical notes.

So after I played through Rayman, I played Rayman 2, which I’ve had for years but hadn’t really played yet. I beat the whole game in like a day, hehe. That’s because I’m awesome like that.

Rayman 2 is different from the first game in a lot of ways. One of which is how it is very three-dimensional, in that you can face every direction. That’s fine. That’s cool. Just one problem. You wind up spending much of the time just trying to get him to face the RIGHT direction! It’s like turn a little to your left. No, YOUR left. What the hell, both buttons make you turn right?! You’re totally facing the wrong way! Oh, great, now you’re dead. More fun in the flying helicopter level when I’m trying to get him flying through this visceral-looking tunnel trying to shoot at or avoid these gigantic spikes poking around. I make him go forward, I find he’s facing the wrong direction and flies right into some lava. Or I turn him another direction to keep going, only for the fucking screen to not follow. I even press R2 to make the screen go to him and nothing’s happening. So I’m wondering what happened to this character I’m controlling. I’d surely get my answer seconds later when he’s reappearing at the beginning of the level. 🙄

I could go on to bitch about the absolutely horrible controls for the game Bubsy 3D, but meh. Some other time, perhaps.

I must say. Game graphics sure are nice these days. But some games seriously need to put those 16 million colors to work to keep games playable, so you can see what you’re doing. Most of them do fine. But some are in such a way that makes you wonder “so what the hell is that pretty colored thing supposed to be? is it a bad guy, is it something that’ll kill me if I fall into it, is it an extra life, is it the end of the level? oh, no, wait, it’s just a random item that has nothing to do with gameplay”. Hehehe. Seriously, though, you can’t help but be bothered when a game in 16 million colors can’t accomplish what can be done even with only 3 colors.

I have Rayman 3, haven’t started it yet. I obviously have my internet back now so it may be a while, hehehe.

Meanwhile, the fifty-fifty draws nigh.

This has been Day 44 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 6.


  1. Smiling is not gay you fag;)

    Comment by Chip, you fuicking master — July 7, 2006 @ 8:42 pm

  2. WE ♥ KATAMARI 4 3V4R!!!

    Comment by Junulo — March 11, 2008 @ 8:29 pm

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