The Story of Cinco de Mayo
Added: April 29, 2006

In 1862, the French decided "Hey, let's go bother Mexico. I think they owe us money. Let's take them over. It'll be easy and fun!"

So a few thousand French soldiers ran off over to Mexico to start messing up the place and calling it their own. Lo and behold, Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza burst out with a few thousand of his own soldiers, and a big battle ensued. They figured they ought to try. When they called up the USA asking if they wanted a hand in this, they were told they were too busy fighting each other. Oh, well. Guess they'd have to do it themselves.

Lots and lots of French soldiers died. Mexico won the battle, the Battle of Puebla. Hooray!

Yeah, the French came back later with a lot more soldiers and totally owned them, but whatever. Mexico kicked them back out later.

But the Battle of Puebla was an important, morale-boosting battle for Mexico, so they decided to celebrate it.

"Wait, do we remember what day the battle occurred?" one Mexican asked.

"Early May, I think?" another one replied.

"You sure?" asked a third Mexican. "I thought it was March."

"No, no, definitely not March," said the first again. "I think it was May 4. That sound right?"

"Nah," said the second. "May 3, I think."

"Well, I thought it was May 8 or 9," suggested the third.

"Wait, wait," the first piped up. "I remember I wrote a letter the day I found out about it. It was definitely May 6."

"Sounds right to me," said the second Mexican.

"May 6?" the third asked. "You sure it was that same day?"

"Well," the first guy thought aloud. "I dated the letter May 6. It was late at night. I just can't remember late night as in very early May 6 or actually very early May 7. The battle happened whatever the previous day was."

"Whatever, can we decide already?" the second guy demanded. "I want to hurry up and plan this holiday. Even Americans will enjoy it because they'll be drinking margaritas and eating spicy food and salsa all day!"

"Well, want it to be May 6, then?" the third guy asked. "We can call it Seis de Mayo."

"Wait, wait, I just remembered," the first guy said. "May 6 is already an important day."

"It is?" asked the second guy.

"Yeah," the first guy went on. "Not yet, anyway, but I heard that some year, over a century from now in the northeast United States somewhere, in 1983, some super amazing awesome girl will be born on May 6. She gets that day because she rules just that much."

"Oh, yeah!" the third guy realized. "Cinco de Mayo it is, then?"

"Agreed."

"Agreed."

And that is how it all happened. Really! Viva Mexico!



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